Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Tiffeny, Dec 3, 2015.

  1. Tiffeny

    Tiffeny New Member

    Hi, I'm new here and have read most of these posts. I've been trying get to start a new thread as some one below suggested, but even the help menu was not helpfull. I have already raised 3 children all adults now and in college 2 boys one girl only one else of them my bio son. I will again soon be a stepmother to my boyfriends 13 yr old adopted son (he has no biological children ) and I truly believe he may be sociopathic. Just looking for some one to talk to.
  2. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Hi Tiffeny

    This is an old thread. I saw your post by accident.

    To post a new thread go to Parent Support Forums. If you want to post in General Parenting, go to that. You will see a list of threads. At the very bottom you will see a button that says post new thread. Add your title on top. And then post.

    I will comment briefly here. Sorry, I will go to bed soon. Others will respond probably tomorrow morning.

    I would advise that you deal with concerns about your soon to be stepson before you enter the marriage. If you have these kinds of concerns, I fear they will only become worse, later. For you, your fiance and his child.

    Second, in a teen the diagnosis would be conduct disorder, rather than sociopathy. But there could be all kinds of other things that contribute to acting out, that can be treated. Children often react to the divorce of their parents, inconsistency in parenting, abuse, and all kinds of other things by acting out.

    I am glad you are here. You will receive a lot of good counsel, support and information.

    Take care.

  3. Tiffeny

    Tiffeny New Member

    Thank you very much, I will take that advice. .
  4. Quicksand

    Quicksand Active Member

    Try dialectical behavior therapy. I wish we would have gotten my son into something like that years ago. I just learned about it a couple of weeks ago. He hasn't entered into the therapy yet, but by what I've read, it's a good way to address these kind of behaviors.
  5. Tiffeny

    Tiffeny New Member

  6. Tiffeny

    Tiffeny New Member

    Unfortunately this is my biggest concern, I love my fiance very much. I come from a very dysfunctional family myself, suffered years n years of abuse and finally moved away and started over. I only really speak with my father, stepmother oder 33 yrs and a cousin or two. But my fiance feels like he's ready to just give up on him. Even after raising his adopted son for 10 yrs now like just giving up on him. He is still bound by legal grounds and physical custody of him due to his ex wife's instability and irresponsibility as a parent. It is so hard to put this all in a short message.
  7. Tiffeny

    Tiffeny New Member

  8. Tiffeny

    Tiffeny New Member

    I've tried to suggest different ideas on therapy ect. But to no avail.. no one wants to listen to me, I feel like some one should care enough to seek help but they all just want pretend it's ok or say they taught him better off well he chooses to be bad then he will just grow up to have a bad life...
  9. Quicksand

    Quicksand Active Member

    My son is 23 and if I could do it over again, he/we would have been in some intensive therapy or military school. Not just go to the schrink once a week, but serious behavioral modification therapy. My opinion is that behavior has to be nipped in the bud NOW or he will end up in prison.
  10. Quicksand

    Quicksand Active Member

    I'm sorry you're going through this. It's difficult, but this place is full of very smart, compassionate and helpful people. Keep posting and reading. Hugs are floating over to you.
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I think this is an old thread.
  12. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Tiffeny started her posting on the end of an older thread. I wonder if one of the mods could split this thread out so that Tiffeny has her own thread?
  13. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Ah, I see now.

    Older adopted children (we tried this twice) oftehn have attachment disorder due to the neglect/abuse before they came to us. This is as bad as having antisocial personality disorder. We had to undo one of our adoptions because the child molested my younger ones and not just once. We didn't know it. YOU don't know if this child is molesting your younger kids. No, they would NOT tell you as they fear their abuser, who usuallyl says that if a child tells, he will kill all of you and the young ones believe in his power over you.After all, to them he has God-like (or Satan-like) power to be able to do what he does to THEM...why not you? Our child told them he'd burn the house down with everyone in it, then started small fires to prove his point. He held knives to their throats to make them perp. We did not know it. I still feel guilty about that. I always will, but he was so sneaky and the young ones were only just 4 and 6...he was thirteen at the end of it and they believed his threats and did not tell and we found out by accident, after it had been happening for a long time. It actually ended when he killed our dog and I knew it was him because nobody else was home and the dog was choked with his own leash. So bad stuff happened for a long time before we found out and called social services to come and get him...forever. We haven't seen him again and never want to.

    He acted like a loving angel to all adults so he fooled social workers, psychiatrists, other foster parents and us. Cunning.

    I would not get further involved with the father, no matter how much you love the father. If you are married, I'd leave with t the other children until troubled child is in residential care where he can't hurt the children anymore. After what we went through, I don't believe in taking chances when a child is dangerous. They can also be sneakier than you could ever dream. They trust nobody but themselves and it is hard to treat attachment disorders and his sounds serious, unless he is truly a sociopath in which case they have not yet found a way to change these sort of problems.

    Hugs...I'm so sorry.
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2015
  14. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Move to your own post!