Some advice needed please....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by lovelyboy, Feb 3, 2012.

  1. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    My son started doing Robotics after school...he enjoyed it very much, this very special to him....
    Then last week When I went to fetchnhim after class, he was very upset and tearfull...he said that the teacher was holding his arm very tight and almost turn pinched it as he let go of his arm telling him that he is building the model wrong! My son said he didnt understand what was expected of him!
    So on the one hand I want to teach my son to stand up for himself....not always have mommy running to fix things.....But on the other hand I thought maybe I need to just make an appointment with this guy(he is not part of the school, comes in to give classes) and explain to him a bit of difficult child 'problems' with tactile sensitivity and not always understanding instructions? I just didnt feel like labelling my child again, but maybe this is what needs to be done, because my son is afraid of this man now and doesnt want to go back to this class!

    Any thoughts?
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Absolutely talk to the guy. You don't have to "label" him but the man needs to understand that this is your son's passion and will thrive but that he needs more broken down, detailed explanations to do it right. Also let him know that grabbing any child in this fashion is abusive even for kids without "issues". Ask him to *teach* rather than punish, which grabbing him like that is doing.

    I AM glad your son gets to be involved in something he loves.
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Over the years I have reached out to a number of adult leaders on behalf of GFGmom decades ago and on behalf of difficult child#2...with mixed results. It really depends on the personality and experiences of the adult you approach. If the teacher is into engineering type projects he may be an x+y=z kind of guy without alot of interest in personality traits. on the other hand he could be an experienced Dad who has less than easy child kids. If you decide to meet with him I'd preplan a brief conversation addressing your concerns and then perhaps you'll be able to "read" his reaction and go from there. Wishing you and your difficult child good luck. Hugs DDD
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    He's too young to fend for himself. Nobody is going to listen to a four year old. But if anyone put his/her hands on my kid, and my daughter is fifteen, it would never happen again. Ever. Is this a part of the school system or is it private?
  5. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    Midwestmom...its my 8 yr old boy....this is a private guy who gives this classes at school, after school....And I also paid alot of money allready for this extra activity!
  6. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Frankly, I would tell him that he is not to touch your child...Period! Or, I would make sure I or grandma or some other adult family member was there sitting quietly in the corner observing. Is there any marks or bursing that you can photograph and show to this guy? Maybe he didn't mean to hold so tightly. But it still needs to be addressed.
  7. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    It was red....didnt take any pics!
  8. buddy

    buddy New Member

    There is plenty of time to teach him to self advocate but right now you dont even fully know what is going on, smile! Yeah, I would explain to this guy... as someone said, given his interest/profession he may be a bit of a rigid thinker himself...

    If he has these interests it could be what eventually makes his life meaningful to him.... hopefully people wont squash his interests along the way.

    You certainly can help difficult child to say please dont touch me when people do... our kids sometimes dont know they can say NO and do it in an acceptable way. Then they fall apart. (I dont know if this guy was out of line touching or really did pinch or if it was his sensitivity??? in any event, should not be touching kids with-o permission and never to correct something)
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    the teacher is into engineering type projects he may be an x+y=z kind of guy without alot of interest in personality traits.

    This was my first thought. And if the arm was red, you need to report and document it. Sigh.
    This guy isn't into concepts. He's into "doing it right or else."
  10. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Terry - my thought exactly. And it isn't just "engineering types" either (and not even all of those!)... we had a regular grade-school teacher who was just that way - and horribly destructive to the kids.
  11. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    First of all, I don't think the guy teaching the class should be touching any of the kids, unless, for some reason, he needs to break up a fight. Other than that, I think putting his hands on your son is out of line.

    Secondly, I would try to have a talk to the teacher. Tell him that you son said that teacher was angry with him because he was building the model wrong, and see what he has to say about it. Then make sure that he understands that some kids need directions broken down a little bit more than others. Does this activity take place in the school building after school hours? If the problem pesists I would speak to the principal about it.
  12. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    Bunny, yes, it does take place in one of the classes.....
    I would rather talk to the teacher...because I dont even want to talk to the principal because she already has this attitude that I am a hovering overprotective mom....and you know the mentality of, oh its a difficult child so it must be him misinterpreting the situation! Agh!
  13. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    The arm was still red when you saw it - That is way beyond harsh and it doesn't matter if your son is difficult child or not, no one should be squeezing a child's arm for ANY reason! You should not need to bring up your son's handicaps when dealing with this one or you will be sending the message that if he was a easy child it would be o.k.

    "Mr. ______, Can I talk to you? When I picked my son up the other day, he was very upset. He was disappointed that he had angered you. He showed me his arm where he stated you had squeezed it while telling him he was doing something wrong. The arm was still red. Is this a common discipline the students need to go through for not following an instruction correctly? My son is very excited about this program but I do not want him being hurt whenever he makes a mistake. If this is going to continue, then I will need to pull him from the course AND report your discplinary strategies to the school. I do not want to do this at this time. I would rather believe that it was a one time mistake on your part. I know sometimes it is difficult keeping the kids on task even in this fantastic program that they enjoy doing. Is there a way I can help by maybe finding parents to come in and help work with the kids under your supervision?"

    I know you said he is not a employee of the school, however, anything that goes on in the school building is a reflection of the school. I would think the school would not allow an abusive teacher in any setting to use their facility.