Some things don't change.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by AnnieO, Nov 7, 2016.

  1. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Belle is doing SO much better than in the days when I originally found this board. Stable relationship, sober, little one, being a good mommy... But there's that whole entitled behavior that lurks just below the surface.

    I set up the spare bedroom - used to be Pat's - so Belle would have a place to bring Charlie, and he could sleep, and she could, or pump, or whatever. I got an extra pack & play. Gave the kids the entire crib suite and all the décor. And a swing, and a car seat. More recently, Rose's old rocker seat from my parents'. Tons of clothes and gear that my friends gave me for the little guy. And I've barely seen him... I think he's spent a grand total of 15 minutes in the pack & play.

    We found them a car, a decent one that we knew the previous owners (and he's a mechanic). It's sitting in our driveway, because they need plates and insurance... Oh, yeah, and Wyatt doesn't have his license due to a little driving without one issue. He's been "planning" to get that taken care of for over a year now...

    Bill has asked Wyatt quite a few times to come help with yard work that really needs done thanks to the loss of two large trees this summer. They keep making plans with us, then something always comes up... Like a job interview at the place he was supposed to be working, or his mother needing them to do something, or whatever... It's always something, IF they respond at all.

    Belle has cleaned my house twice now. The original agreement was $100 every month/six weeks and covered mostly the upstairs area, where we spent more time, and a couple little things downstairs in my bedroom suite. I'll be honest, the kid doesn't clean worth a darn. She vacuums pretty well, and straightens up Rose's bed and playroom, but my laminate floor looks like a lick and a promise, the windows are almost as bad as if she didn't do them, and a lot of the little stuff like wiping out the sink... Well, yeah, you get it. It's hardly thorough, and I do a lot better job. It was supposed to help her, money wise, and help me, cleaning wise, and it's not helping me (since I have to do most of it over anyway).

    Bill has also given them cash several times now. I think between the cleanings and the cash, it's been about $1000 in the last six weeks. Not counting buying diapers a couple times. We're both irritated - they keep promising, but no real delivery. ESPECIALLY on the yard work thing. Yesterday, after 2 days of no shows, ROSE and I helped Bill in the yard. Oh, did I mention this weekend's no shows were right after Bill told them we couldn't afford to give them any more money?! (They ghosted us a few weeks ago when we couldn't give them money THAT DAY.)

    I think the biggest issue is - my parents - they help us out, we do stuff for them - it's a give and take. And Belle was brought up (by us at least) to know that you don't get far without working. Hence the agreements... They work, we help. And it's just not working out.

    I hope he can stay firm on this. I'm done, and haven't given any more... But he still feels guilty, I think, for what happened after he and biomom divorced. Ugh.
     
  2. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    Annie O...As long as he holds onto the guilt, what can you do? Sad thing is....the babe will suffer the most.

    Hugs...give and take is hard, when it's heavy on the take.