Something is up and it's not good

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Nancy, Oct 9, 2009.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The other day I found out that a friend of difficult child's was going up to her dorm last night (for thirsty thursday) with dank. I had to check online to see what dank was for sure. He told her it reeked reallly badly but she assured him she had the bathroom on lockdown and they would be ok. Don't ask me how I found this out but I have become a master at sleuthing.

    Anyway something went down since she IM'd a friend last night and told her she was being busted. She continued texting all night so I knew she wasn't in jail. Her roommate posted on facebook that it was the worst night ever and evidently texted friends all night about how horrible the night was. difficult child's facebook status was "fml" this morning.

    I just read that her good friend from home is racing down to her dorm for her "best friend".

    Can't wait to find out what happened. But we have a family wedding to go to tomorrow and she better not be coming home.

  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Well, shoot.:mad: At least you have a head's up about this even though you don't have details yet.

    Hope it's mostly drama and not as bad as it could be.

  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I just got a text from her telling me she's coming home. I texted her back and told her she can't and she better find someplace else to stay.


    P.S. I just searched the court records and she was arrested last night for underage drinking and drug paraphenalia. Her court date is Tuesday at 8:30am.

    Last edited: Oct 9, 2009
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful much for the hope that it was just drama. :(

    So sorry Nancy.

  5. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE


    Nancy, you have always been MASTER SLEUTH. My hat is off to you. :bravo:

    I'm so sorry that this is happening...and I'm very proud of you for continuing with your plans.

    (have you changed your locks yet so she can't get in?)

    Last edited: Oct 10, 2009
  6. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Good job for knowing what was going on. Sorry that she is living down to expectations.

    I also think that it is a good thing that she is going to have to deal with Society's expectations and consequences for this. Nothing like a dose of reality to clear the haze...
  7. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member


    As I said in the general forum, I am so sorry to hear this although it was pretty obvious that it was just a matter of time until it happened.

    You and your husband have done everything humanly possible to help her and give her a wonderful life. At this point, she needs to face what she has done as an adult and live with the consequences. I know that you are ready to let the chips fall where they may but it will still hurt your mommy's heart. Just hold on to the hope that growth will come from this and that your difficult child will still end up on the right path eventually.

    My difficult child has a difficult child friend that runs to the "rescue" of fellow difficult children. She would come racing to our house to "rescue" our difficult child after a blow out. The problem was . . . she always brought her back.

  8. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Our paths are so so similar. Her friend called and asked if she could bring difficult child and difficult child's boyfriend to our house for "dessert" that she made. I said no, boyfriend is not welcome and difficult child is suppose to be at college so sad to say you are stuck with her. I think difficult child wanted her friend and boyfriend there so she could tell us about her arrest and we wouldn't get mad with them there. Not!

  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What is thirsty thursday?

    What is dank? Why does it smell so badly and why are the windows shut?
  10. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I had to google dank because I had not heard of it either. This is from Urban Dictionary:

    Here is the lowdown on Thirsty Thursdays. It is also from Urban Dictionary:

  11. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Nancy so sorry this is happening. I know it is not unexpected but we always have hope that maybe just maybe our difficult child's will wise up and succeed at something positive. Stick to your guns. Don't let her back home. Don't pay for her legal counsel. Let her live her mistakes and their consequences. Sorry you are out her tuition money if you contributed to that. Maybe you can get some of it back I'd call the school to see. -RM
  12. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I had to google dank too. That was a new term for me. Thirsty Thursday I figured out on my own. lol

    Now why would you want to smoke a weed that reeks? Reg pot smells bad enough! phew!

    Good for you for sticking to your guns Nancy. I know it's not easy watching her make stupid choices.

  13. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ok...are colleges that stupid now? Thirsty Thursdays? Most of the population of colleges are underage now. Back when I was of young (cough...I am dating myself) the drinking age was 18 for beer and 21 for liquor so people had keggers in the dorms on weekends. They were of age though.

    I asked Cory about dank. Never heard of it. Must not have come this far south yet.
  14. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member


    It's down here. I just asked difficult child if she knew what Dank was and she did. She described is as the "really expensive good weed." She then gave me a tutorial of terms that are used to describe marijuana . . . and was sure to tell me that this was all in her past.

    Please let that be true.

    As far as Thirsty Thursdays . . . I am sure it is not a college sponsored event.

  15. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    LOL no, thirsty thursday is not a college sponsored event.

  16. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    Nancy -

    I am so sorry to hear the latest developments. I had really hoped that she would grow up and take advantage of the opportunity you and H have given her.

    Do you plan to just materialize at the court on Tuesday or just follow it on line?
  17. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Oh, Thursday's is LIT night at R&Rs! Course, what did college kids know about a real Long Island Ice Tea, it was basically a pitcher of Pepsi, some sour and some kind of alcohol for $5.25. Course that was many years ago...18 to get into the bars, wow we were young!

    Sorry she brought her difficult child ways to college. Chances are she is still going to be able to finish the semester. I don't remember anyone getting kicked out for underage drinking or weed.
  18. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Honestly if kids did get kicked out for pot and underaged drinking how many would get to graduation? I know back in the 70's the class sizes would have been next to They would have had to pick the valedictorian from the only two remaining students...lmao.
  19. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I would think that there are a lot of mitigating factors with this situation. Do they want to charge difficult child with possession, or with distribution? Has she been a good student other than this or has she been a PITA? Has she been regularly attending classes? And probably most importantly, what plan does she have in place to avoid such problems in the future? They will expect her to deal with this herself, I think.
  20. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Federal law states that any student with a minor in possession charge or a drug possession charge that they can not qualify for financial aid---this includes student loans. One mistake and an honor student is out-----She may be allowed to finish the semester, but I doubt she will be allowed to come back.

    It seems crazy that a rapist, child molester, murderer can get financial aid to go to college, but if a kid is caught drinking a beer than he can't.