Something small but...

seems so huge since it's been so long since Aly has had any bad behavior at all, anywhere!!

She came home from school today with a referral for "biting another student, being disrespectful, harrassment/bullying, physical aggression/fighting. This results in Aly being benched tomorrow for lunch recess. I am frustrated, as this sort of punishment does not work for her. We have talked about this at her IEP meeting till we are blue in the face. Guess it's time for us to call another meeting!

Aly's first take on the situation was that D and S were fighting, Aly got in the middle of it, J came up behind her and shoved her into D which made her fall onto D and D punched Aly in the arm so Aly bit D on her arm.

After she calmed down a bit, she disclosed that D was being mean to S so Aly got involved to try stop them fighting but D got mad and "said an ugly word to Aly" so Aly got mad and bit her. Aly won't tell me what D said, but she has called Aly the "N" word on several occasions, so I wouldn't be surprised if that was it.

This shocks me! Not that she would get into the middle of someone else's battles/issues, that's classic Aly, but she has not been violent other than one shoving incident last year.

Aly said she is the only one who got a referral, and with the one she had earlier in the year, if she gets one more, she will have in school suspension! I will be calling the VP tomorrow morning first thing, he had already left for the day by the time she got home off the bus.

Aly just had a psychiatrist appointment last week and we got to boast how well she is doing and psychiatrist was talking about titrating her off of the Trileptal over the summer. :smile:

I tried not to make a huge deal of this with Aly yet, as the referral only tells the infractions, not the story behind what triggered the behaviors. I did talk to her about bringing her "higher power" into her heart when she is feeling angry or frustrated and to really try hard to walk away from others issues. She is sad and mad at herself, crying.

I feel so bad for her. I don't want her to be known as the school bully. Why can't our kids just have a fun childhood? Why is every "typical kid fight" turned into a huge thing because OUR kids have issues so everything MUST be examined/talked about/behavior modification/ blah blah blah!

Anyways, thanks for listening!



New Member
aw nuts. sounds like she was trying in her way to be helpful.......and she was caught up in the moment. darn. :-( hugs.

Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Sorry the day was so hard. I hope you can reach the principal tomorrow and clear things up. Hugs.

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
It does sound like in her own way Aly was trying to come to her friend's defense. Hopefully the principal can help you get it sorted out.


Stella Johnson

Active Member
First... this is just my opinion but... DON'T TITRATE ANYTHING if she is doing well. Don't mess with a good thing. :hammer:

I would have a meeting with the VP and the teacher to find out what happened and see if there were any other witnesses.


I know, when psychiatrist suggested it I was like NO WAY! Things are going great, why mess with a good thing. We shall see on that front!!

As far as the school goes, I will call them first thing tomorrow morning and see what I can do with getting a meeting set up ASAP about this situation. Aly and D seem to be in constant "head butting" session. D is in the SDC that Aly was in for 3 years and I feel there is jealousy on D's part that Aly is mainstreamed and D isn't anywhere near ready for that. And, there is Aly missing Miss S and her nurturing style and the whole make up of the SDC. I just keep accentuating the positives that are coming from her being mainstreamed for the first time and for the most part is doing so very well.

Oh, husband got home and blew a gasket! His first question was "Where the heck were the yard duty and D's 1:1 aide when all this took place today??!!?? Since Aly is in the 4th grade (technically) and D is in the 3rd, they only have short amount of times on the playground together. Thank goodness!!! D makes your difficult child and mine look like angels on earth, I kid you not!!!

Anyways, thanks all for the support and encouragement. It's kinda nice not to go overboard over this, last year this would have sent me over the edge!!! I do not condone Aly being violent in any way but until I get the other side of the story, I am taking my baby girl's side!!



New Member
I think I would take her side, too. It does sound like she was only trying to defend a friend and it escalated. I hope you get get to the bottom of it, it's not fair that only Aly was punished for this. That just doesn't sound right to me.


New Member
gee guess a bunch of us had a similar day yesterday!! tis that time of yr.

what is with sd and teachers with-the no recess approach? i flat out said in a bip that i thought that was the wrong way to go difficult child or easy child and i got the 'not enough time in the day for other options(what???).

again it goes to the fact that most ssd don't know how to deal with-difficult children and often it is the sd's lack of experience that gets our difficult children in trouble.