I posted about my nephew and our messed up family dynamics with my mom and sisters. Well, I told difficult child 1 and difficult child 2 about nephew not being with us for Christmas this year (he's spending it with his mom). They wanted to know why so I explained the situation to them and that grandma & aunt are withholding gifts. They made various comments and the only comment I made is "that's not what Christmas is about" in reference to withholding gifts. Tonight, difficult child 1 was arguing with me at bedtime (after a couple of "difficult" but not unbearable days) so I half-heartedly said "You know I don't HAVE to give you your gifts tomorrow night". His response was "Now you sound like grandma and what did you say about her? Hmmmm?" I couldn't think of a thing to say. It was a touche' moment but I wasn't about to admit that to him.