Son has texted after relapse

Helpless29

Well-Known Member
My son has texted me today about his relapse, he explained what triggered him& what he needs to stay away from . He was lucky the recovery home gave him a chance but he will be moved down to phase 1 in the program , which he has accepted.He was at work today , all this happened on his day off.He said the recovery home said they seen how hard he has worked & they talked to him about the steps he has to take not to relapse again. We never talked or texted about the video he sent me, but we never have ever spoken about it from the past either . I always still wonder if he remembers what he has sent me or does he think by me not confronting him about it , that maybe it’s acceptable, but the thought of mentioning it is so uncomfortable and I’m disgusted by it .
I just want it out of my mind. I guess I’m just glad he’s ok , but still so horrified by his actions that he has betrayed to me through this video.
 

BusynMember1

Well-Known Member
Hi. Glad he is okay too. Must be a load off of your heart.

Please don't think of his relapse as betraying you. It isnt....this is not about you. He is sick. If you make it about him doing this to you, I'm afraid of possibly hurtful negative consequences for him and you too. in my opinion its better if you don't tell him it's not a good thing to do. He knows. When our kids were little we told them not to run in the street because they could get hurt. They needed to hear that from us then. By 10 years old kids know using drugs is not good. He knows he can end up in jail because of drugs. And it's a good sign that he felt badly abut relapsing and got to stay in the program. He took positive steps on his own...so that's great and you see that he can advocate for himself.

Blessings.
 

Helpless29

Well-Known Member
Hi. Glad he is okay too. Must be a load off of your heart.

Please don't think of his relapse as betraying you. It isnt....this is not about you. He is sick. If you make it about him doing this to you, I'm afraid of possibly hurtful negative consequences for him and you too. in my opinion its better if you don't tell him it's not a good thing to do. He knows. When our kids were little we told them not to run in the street because they could get hurt. They needed to hear that from us then. By 10 years old kids know using drugs is not good. He knows he can end up in jail because of drugs. And it's a good sign that he felt badly abut relapsing and got to stay in the program. He took positive steps on his own...so that's great and you see that he can advocate for himself.

Blessings.
I don’t think him relapsing was betraying me , I didn’t like the sexual content of the video he sent me & and that side of him that he betrayed . I have not mentioned anything to him, I just listen when he talks. I am glad he realizes everything he can lose. I’m glad he recognized what triggered him .
 

Helpless29

Well-Known Member
I don’t think him relapsing was betraying me , I didn’t like the sexual content of the video he sent me & and that side of him that he betrayed . I have not mentioned anything to him, I just listen when he talks. I am glad he realizes everything he can lose. I’m glad he recognized what triggered him .
I meant to say the side of him he portrayed in video not betrayed
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
I am thinking of both you you helpless-and I pray along with you that your son will learn to make consistently better choices and keep himself safe. He has so many gifts.
 

RN0441

100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
Helpless

I just got back from vacation so have been off the site for a week. OMG I am sorry to hear about the relapse but not at all surprised. It could be my son's story also. Down to phase I, doing so well, will let him stay, relapse is part of recovery, etc. etc. Wow it really hit home for me. We did it many times and always after he did so well for so long.

May I ask what your son's drug of choice is? What did he relapse with?

The.video.

You know it's disturbing, and we all know it's disturbing. I think you must have this talk with him. You MUST. I get it; I know how hard it is. If you don't talk about it, it's in the past....well isn't it??

I know what it feels like to push bad things into the past and pray they never happen again. This is twice now. If you don't want to tell anyone else except us - okay I get it. But please bring it up to him. I would not be able NOT to. I know it's SOOOO embarrassing and hard but I think that you have to get it out there for your own sanity.

We're here for you.

Prayers, Love & Hugs
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
Helpless. I agree with RN about talking with your son. I think it is the best thing for you. But the thing is, I feel if you talk with him, you would be better off talking with your husband, too, about it. Secrets are not good for anybody. Especially this kind. Your son has to face who he is, and what he does when he uses drugs. It's not good for him to keep his secret. I wouldn't say it if I didn't believe this. I am sorry things got hard again helpless.
 
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