BusynMember
Well-Known Member
And my son is freaking out. Honestly, he is still a difficult child and I am going to have to set boundaries with him. Now he is totally worried that ex will sue for custody, now that there are two incomes for a lawyer. He doesn't have that money. I can't give it to him. His father will not give it to him. He will probably lose joint custody of his son when kindergarten starts because they live in two separate school districts.
I know how sick my son feels, but he is angry and has been verbally abusive to me on the phone when I've been trying to help (especially trying to tell him not to predict the future or think that what is happening now will be his fate forever). He has been calling me three times a day to vent and for advice and it is too much. It brings me down and there is nothing I can do for him. The fact is, there may be nothing he can do at all unless he wants to take out a loan to fight custody. He doesn't want to because he has to take out a loan to buy his house next year and with another loan out, he'd be turned down. I told him to give up the house and move closer to her, in J's school district. He has 100 excuses why he can't...I can not do anything other than listen right now, and I'm cutting back on that.
From now on I will let him talk to me once a day for ten minutes. I will mostly just listen because I know he isn't going take any advice I give him, although he claims to want advice. He needs a psychiatrist and medication, but says he can't afford it and makes too much to go to the country clinic...sigh. I 'm wiped out by this. He is far away in Missouri. I told him he'd regret moving (I know him very well), but he's stuck there no w because his son is there. On the other hand, he never makes an effort (always excuses) to meet with the rest of us in Chicago for holidays. I wonder if he has a personality disorder, like I do/did, and is just unwilling to work on himself. I'm so burned out on this and I am pulling back.
I am going to follow this prayer very closely; you all know it. It's another thing to practice it:
God give me the wisdom to accept the things I can not change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Thanks for reading this vent.
I know how sick my son feels, but he is angry and has been verbally abusive to me on the phone when I've been trying to help (especially trying to tell him not to predict the future or think that what is happening now will be his fate forever). He has been calling me three times a day to vent and for advice and it is too much. It brings me down and there is nothing I can do for him. The fact is, there may be nothing he can do at all unless he wants to take out a loan to fight custody. He doesn't want to because he has to take out a loan to buy his house next year and with another loan out, he'd be turned down. I told him to give up the house and move closer to her, in J's school district. He has 100 excuses why he can't...I can not do anything other than listen right now, and I'm cutting back on that.
From now on I will let him talk to me once a day for ten minutes. I will mostly just listen because I know he isn't going take any advice I give him, although he claims to want advice. He needs a psychiatrist and medication, but says he can't afford it and makes too much to go to the country clinic...sigh. I 'm wiped out by this. He is far away in Missouri. I told him he'd regret moving (I know him very well), but he's stuck there no w because his son is there. On the other hand, he never makes an effort (always excuses) to meet with the rest of us in Chicago for holidays. I wonder if he has a personality disorder, like I do/did, and is just unwilling to work on himself. I'm so burned out on this and I am pulling back.
I am going to follow this prayer very closely; you all know it. It's another thing to practice it:
God give me the wisdom to accept the things I can not change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Thanks for reading this vent.