spent day in e.r. again

[Jena]

Hi,

So, difficult child fainted today again. She was in the bathroom again, lost her sight again, and went down quick. I didnt think she would so i didnt' catch her. she bashed her head really badly on wall, cut her lip up, nose swollen.

Got her hydrated, her heart rate was high, sugars' are ok. they said the heart rate is due to her anxiety.

After scene with-her father yesterday at the door, her anxiety shot thru roof, she wasn't able to complete any shakes last night. He also did not make sure to finish her shake that she had with-her yesterday as i told him.

So, all in all we're back to square one. she is crying thru shakes etc. we got them down yet wasn't easy. she did gain 1 lb. we found out at hospital since last thursday when we went for check up at the other hospital.

dad's gotta go is the aim now. i text him and said she needs to get stable again and so because of that she will not be seeing him this week. i dont' think i'll have time to hit court yet. i figured though let him go if he wants to it'll make it easier on me than.

 

[HaoZi]

*hugs* you two. Would I be out of line in hoping a nice Mack truck takes care of said problem? (In my parlance this is referred to as "The Shrine of the Bulldog")

 

[Jena]

that's soo funny in a sick way just wrote that in my thread about him. great minds think alike.

 

[Andy]

I am so sorry!

 

[HaoZi]

Then I shall do some prayer work at the Bulldog Shrine for you.

 

[Jena]

andy thanks. starting all over again. really bites.

 

[smallworld]

Jen, thinking of you and C. Hugs.

 

[hearts and roses]

I will also do some work at the Bulldog Shrine this evening. What a turd. It's not good to wish anything bad on anyone, but boy do I know how you feel!!!

Prayers to you and difficult child, all of you.

 

[Bunny]

I'm sorry that you have to start all over again. I was hoping that her father's behavior did not upset her. Guess I was wrong.

Pam

 

[Jena]

hi

thanks. i'm assuming it's that mixed with-them mentioning solids on hospital appointment. last week which she wasn't ready for either, mixed with-kids in neighborhood. She gets by during day yet at night it's rough. She's having alot of nightmares, could be the seroquel also about dying. She's having alot of negative self hate thoughts like i hate myself, i can't stand myself this eating disorder is taking over me. My heart really goes out to her. I feel so bad and there is nothing i can do to make it better for her right now. As a mom that is killing me. she is so multi layered there is so much going on in that head of hers.

to cry is pointless i told my husband last nite the tears wont fix this. i just get up each day and stay hopeful. it isn't easy though i wont' lie. she wets bed everynight now, the nightmares.

i'm fighting to get her a pysch doctor, a therapist, an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation. ppl basically suck and no one's helping. as per usual. only good guy i have on my side is her peditrician, he's such a good man. truly. called him yesterday on the way to the hospital. he said i'm getting my staff on finding her a pyschiatrist today. him and i have become friends through it.

he actually waved all fees for my older easy child right now due to her not having insurance a few weeks ago when she was sick, and took away all co pays for now. i had husband drop off a huge tray of food for him and his staff at the office that same day.

my sleep is def getting affected. it's benefiting husband because we're up each night till 2 or 3 pretty much after he gets home. my minds' clicking alot so falling asleep isnt' as easy for me.

she cried last night during the shake. i felt so bad just hugged her and worked with her inbetween each sip again. she said to me i love you and your the only person who gets me and i can trust. as much as i love her i do get scared of the future. i'm trying not to project yet if i could live forever that would be great, yet i can't and someday i'll have to leave her. that frightens me bigtime.

i need to go to therapy so husband and i are trying to figure out a way we can make that work with his days off if he sits and does shake with-her so i can go. he's been and you guys my place yet i think addtl help is needed.

 

[Bunny]

Jena, do you want the name of the psychiatrist that I take difficult child to? Both my therapist and difficult child's therapist have spoken to him and came away with a very high opinion of him. He's all the way in Lake Success and they don't take any insurance, but I found him to be very thorough and very caring. He's going on vacation as of 11/1 for a few weeks (says that he's traveling overseas) but if you call them and say it's an emergency maybe they will be able to get you in. I don't know. If you want the information, let me know.

Pam

 

[Jena]

Pam

thanks, but we just can't afford that right now. That's why we're trying to stay in insurance and it's a struggle because no one is accepting new patients. i guess if our backs' really against wall and in another week or so i can't find anyone i might pm you for it. yet with-one income, easy child needs car soon, and college in september, all of difficult child's needs we are like hmm this should be interesting. than throw in christmas.

 

[LittleDudesMom]

Jena,

my heart goes out to you all with this difficult situation. Just want you to know that difficult child is in my prayers.

Sharon

 

[HaoZi]

Hang in there hon, we're here for y'all.

 

[Jena]

thanks.