Sports or extra curricular activities that are good for ODD kids?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by allhaileris, Aug 22, 2008.

  1. allhaileris

    allhaileris Crumbling Family Rock

    I just read that article posted about Michael Phelps. Very inspiring!

    Eris has asked about ballet a few times and I've contemplated signing her up - but - money is tight and I don't want to sign her up if she's not going to participate. We tried gymnastics last year and it didn't go great. She was always the last one to complete the task, never did exactly what was told, upset one of the teachers.

    I'm afraid she'll do the same with ballet. Just do what she wants and not follow instructions. She likes school, but often needs an extra nudge to get things done. I also don't want to invest in leotards and shoes if she's just going to do a few classes.

    We did do swimming lessons over the summer and she did well, considering her issues.

    It would be nice to get her involved in some kind of activity to keep her busy. I thought about Spiral Scouts, but the closest I could find is in the next county over (30 min drive), unless I start a goup on my own. I could have her join Girl Scouts, but the subject matter of Spiral Scouts is much more to her liking. We visited a booth at Faerieworlds in Eugene last summer and she loved the group of girls, how they interacted with her and the activities they had.

    What sports or extra curricular activities do your kids do that they enjoy and can focus on? I guess that can be different for each child's interest, but any suggestions would be great. She just started 1st grade. We live in a smallish city (about 75K people, 40% retired) and there aren't a lot of options of things to do to begin with.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    For us to help you a little better, it would be useful to know what her issues are. ODD rarely stands alone (you'll hear that A LOT here) so just saying she has ODD doesn't give us a good overview of how she behaves or what she can/can't handle. Has she ever been evaluated by a neuropsychologist? The six year old seems as if she could use a neuropsychologist evaluation. Her speech delay, even with improvement, is a big red flag for some neurological issues that can cause behavior problems due to frustration. I feel she should be tested more--then you'll understand better what she would succeed at. As for my son...
    That aside, if she is a good team player, soccer is really good and it's not expensive if she decides to quit. My son is on the high end of the autism spectrum and he became very adept at soccer. He is fifteen and still likes it. He also swims on the swim team and has down cross-country skiing and high jumping. In school, he needs work on social skills so they signed him up for a group that works in the community and he loved it. I must note that Lucas has Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) issues, but is very well-behaved. He is no great athlete, but is willing to try as long as he's not intimidated. We did not do Scouts with him. He wasn't interested.
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Sandy, my difficult child is notorious for thinking he knows how to do something when he doesn't. I sign him up for things and walk away. If I'm not in the area, he does much better.
    So, he's learned to ride horses, (still likes it), karate (hated it), ice skate (so-so), Boy Scouts (hated it), play baseball (loves it), soccer (loved it but is tired of it now), basketball (likes it), and just next wk, will try guitar. (Of course, he insists he already knows how, and has to start with-an electric guitar. Right.)
    I don't know if I could recommend a specific activity for ODD; all of our kids have different personalities, despite the ODD. You can still be better one-on-one, or better in a group, or more competetive.

    Do you have a parks and rec program through the city? Or a YMCA? Those are inexpensive ways to try out sports for a shorter time to see if your daughter likes it.

    Sheesh, I'm no help at all!
  4. allhaileris

    allhaileris Crumbling Family Rock

    So far, yes, only ODD has been diagnosed. She has not seen a developmental pediatrician or neurophychologist, but has been evaluated by a reguarl psychiatrist who ruled out ADD or ADHD. She has a few autistic traits, but I don't feel is autistic. I have a friend who does have a daughter the same age who is high-funtioning and I asked her about it and she thought I was crazy to even think it (she's the first who thought it might be ODD at age 2.5). I think she may be a sensory seeker and I can imagine her as a skateboarder when she gets older (or some thrill seeking sport). Her drawing has gotten better, she really enjoys that and can focus on it well. She's a wonderful singer, but can't remember the words to songs and there is no after school choir or anything like it. We just finished our first chapter book (the Spiderwick Chronicles, book 1) even though I had to tell her to leave the cat alone a billion times while reading it. But she paid attention, asked questions and followed the plot well.
  5. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    I don't think there's any one activity that is better than others. Much depends on the interests of the child, the understanding of the adults that are involved in the programs they try, and the reciprocal interaction between the difficult child and the peers.

    I truly think all the above factors are important--a difficult child could have a really high interest level but run into an inflexible leader and it would be a done deal.

    That said, we've had better luck with activities that were school sponsored. Knowing the peers and being in a familiar environment made for a much higher comfort level.
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    For my difficult child an individual sport is best. He does wrestling which he likes because it has a team atmosphere but he is on his own. Really each child is so different and I do think a lot also depends on the coach.
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You are talking about a 6 year old little girl right?

    I would look into the Parks and Recreation department and see if they have soccer or T ball or even cheerleading. Here they would put little ones that age out cheering for the little boys playing flag football unless they really wanted to be a football player. Our county rec dept doesnt cost much at all for these programs. Soccer also starts quite young. I think they start at 3 or 4 and the kids are certainly not skilled at that Most of them are running around the field picking the grass or talking to their friends. I actually love the "littlies" the best because they are so darned cute!
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Anything you can afford AND can get her to with-o a major battle works for us. Jess started soccer at 4 (even earlier if we were at her big bro's game and took our eyes off of her, LOL), thank you likes basketball but not every season it is offered (through parks & rec it is 3 X/year, through the Y it is 2X/year). Neither one has been willing to stick it out in scouts.

    Wiz is seriously into Dungeons and Dragons and Magic the Gathering (hence Wizard), also is into manga. He played soccer for several years. He HATED Scouts.

    They all love our library programs. Except that I won't let them check books out (refusing to return the books does this).

    I think it depends on your community, how much $$ you are willing to spend (able to spend) how much time you want to devote (one dance school here is 1 time a week, one is 3 times a week, one is every day and this IS for the younger kids), and if you iwll be willing to drag her there kicking and screaming if she doesn't want to go after you paid for it.

    So what is available in your area?

    Oh - here all the martial arts programs offer free outfits with the first month tuition. They also are quite into discipline and not fighting, so this might be good if she enjoyed it. Most give a free class or 2. One of Jessie's classmates is 14 and teaching classes in tae kwon do - she got a black belt at age 10. Not all programs are that intensive.

    What are her friends involved in? She may be more willing to stick with something if her best friend is doing it.
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I started Miss KT in karate when she was 7, she earned her black belt at 14. Some other things we tried were gymnastics (nope), cheer camp (nope), soccer (at age 5, not a good fit), and AWANA (OK, since I was a group leader, and it all fell apart when I wasn't). My standing rule was that with anything she wanted to try, she had to stick with it for the entire season or six months, then we would discuss quitting if she still wanted to. Otherwise, it would have been something new every week.
  10. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    diagnosis - difficult child went to a psychologist at age 2.5 he was tested for about a week straight. We were told ODD. He has since seen several therapist's, psychiatrist's, counselors, all kinds of dr.'s. That is the only diagnosis that ever was repeated.

    Sports - He likes sports, hates practice. He could be so good at so many sports but many coaches won't put up with certain issues and send him away.

    He loves baseball and does well at it. he loves soccer, played since he was 4.

    he is good at many sports, just seems to think it is his job to tell the coaches, referee's, and teammates what he thinks!!!!

    Many, many, many times we invested the time and money into something only to have him walk away or get the boot in only a short time.

    Definately check with park and rec dept. How about local YMCA for classes.

    Good luck
  11. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I, for one, thinking scouting can be very good for a child. It offers a chance to learn skills or try-on activities plus it has a lot of opportunity for socialization. Plus, it's usually not a bad thing if they miss an occasional meeting because they just aren't behaving well that night. I caution, though, that many difficult children resent when Mom is in charge or coaching an activity.

    Our family rule for sports is that Duckie has two weeks of practice to wash out or she's there for the season. It's not fair to the team and other children on the waiting list if she quits after that. For dance, I ask her instructor when they start work on the recital number, and Duckie's cut-off is one week prior. Again, it wouldn't be fair to her classmates if she quit after that. Interestingly, she's argued about classes and practices, but never quit mid-year because she knows the rule.

    Have you thought about continuing her in swim lessons since she's done well? How about a kid's bowling league? 4H club? Library after school programs? Any community organizations that offer activities or volunteer opportunities? Art classes?
  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I think everyone has offered great advice. The bowling leagues have been very successful for alot of CD kids. Personally, I think the environment (including adult presence) is a huge factor.

    by the way, if you don't mind unsolicited suggestions, :D if any of you are trying to read a book with your ODD or ADHD child.......don't have a cat in the room, don't have a dog in the room and don't have the television on in the background. I found it helpful to have potty breaks, a drink and a phone that was disconnected before settling in with a difficult child for quiet time.
  13. threebabygirls

    threebabygirls New Member

    my difficult child is in soccer (this is her 3rd year) and Girl Scouts. This past spring we tried softball. She did fine with it, but there was too much "down time" while waiting for the other girls to bat.
  14. allhaileris

    allhaileris Crumbling Family Rock

    I appreciate all the comments. I know martial arts is pricy in our area, but husband knows enough of it he could start her out and see if she would enjoy it. It might help her focus better. I'll suggest it to him. I think having an individual sport might be better, but might not.

    I wish I could have done more swim lessons. We have a pool in our complex, but it's not heated and it's been a cool summer so it's always too cold to use. The swim lessons ended the week before last until next summer (unless I want to pay the health club a ton of money).

    No YMCA, no real library programs that would interest her (we go quite often). She goes to a school with an alternative program so the kids are spread out throughout the city and it's hard to know what her friends are doing.

    I did find a choir program and am waiting to hear what they say about joining. It's for kids K-3rd grade, and it sounds like it's more training their voices than rehearsal for performances. I haven't seen the fall schedule for the parks & rec so I'm not sure of the choices.

    Part of the issue is also that husband gets upset with her and punishes her by not allowing her to go to the practice. It upsets me! I want to find something that happens when I'm off work so I can take her.
  15. ML

    ML Guest

    Great topic. We haven't had luck with sports but the master needs pysical activity so I'm making him stick with what he is doing currently for 3 more months (for a total of 6). I believe swimming is next on our list. He loves swimming but balked at doing it on a competitive level. Though I'm going to downplay that part because the lady at the rec center said it is very lightly competitive, everyone's a winner etc.

    Getting him to stick with the 6 months though has been difficult. The begging and the pleading to stop have me questionning my rule but I KNOW IT'S RIGHT :) ML