SSGFG and his stuff

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by ML, Jul 20, 2010.

  1. ML

    ML Guest

    It's been 6 months since ssgfg moved out. The fallout lasted only a short time and he comes by to visit occasionally and has even worked on my car (I paid him well).

    The current problem is that his stuff is still in our basement which is very small. About 600 sq ft. I just basically cut off that level of the home for so long it was no big deal. Except my mom has recently offered to give us her treadmill, bike and ab machine for manster to use as he's been exercising when he is over there (YES!). SSGFG shows no inclination of removing his stuff (furniture, stereo, tons of boxes) and I believe I have come up with the solution. I don't think I have the guts to throw it to the curb so the next best thing is that I will rent a small storage facility for a month or so and hand him the keys. That way if he doesn't claim it, it's not my problem and I don't have to be the devil (just a meanie but I've gotten used to that).

    What do you think? I've run it by husband and he seems agreeable. I told him I would take care of it and would take the hit with ss; I'm used to being the bad guy/scape goat. I would prefer not but achieving my goal of having 1/3 of my home back trumps worries about being the bad guy.

  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Well... If you're back on speaking terms at least, I'd say go ahead with one month's rent. Just make SURE that it's in SSGFG's name, not yours!
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It sounds like a very good idea. He can do what he likes with it with-o it being in your way. If he has a fit remind him that it will be a lot cheaper to pay for the storage unit than to pay 1/3 of the mortgage payment each month. If he is using 1/3 of your home then surely he is willing to pay for that privilege.

    It is exactly what my parents did when my bro would spend most of the year in Idaho and 3-4 months at their home over Christmas. He wasn't happy about it, not by a long shot. Since he was already gone, and he lived miles from the nearest phone and worked farther than that from a phone, my mother could not have cared less, LOL!

    There is no reason for him to be upset or for you to be a scapegoat. When you tell him, or his dad does, put it in the light that you did it because you KNOW how much it all means to him and how super busy he is. You packed it up carefully and put it into storage so that difficult child couldn't go through it and so it wouldn't get damaged if the basement flooded or anything else happened. Say it like you have just done the sweetest, kindest, nicest thing you could ever do for him. Then he won't have a leg to stand on if he gets upset.

    Maybe difficult child could earn some money by helping you pack and get the stuff into the storage unit?
  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I think you're being very kind actually. It's very nice of you to set up a storage unit and pay two months for's very fair. And you're correct, if he doesn't claim his stuff or continue paying for the unit, it's on him, not you. What a great solution! And you'll be able to not only get your space back, but sleep at night too!
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Perfect solution! Also...basements do flood so this is such a kind and caring thing to do...what a sweet step-mom!
  6. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    What a great solution! I'm going to keep it in mind for our difficult child 1. Perfect. :)
  7. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    That is a brilliant solution. It puts it squarely in his hands. I concur that you should put the rental in his name though.
    There is no reason to lose valuable and needed space in your home. He can either collect the stuff, continue to pay storage fees, or lose it. But ultimately this type of a move
    puts it squarely on HIS shoulders, where it should be.