While my own difficult child has been the dominate problem lately, the chronic upheaval in our lives are my 2 step-difficult child's which creates a whole new set of problems. Any advice? Unfortunately my husband and his ex are the main cause of the boys behavior. Ex: this weekend 17 yr old wears a sexually explicit slogan on his shirt. husband ignored it, when I asked why he was allowing him to wear that (we're supposed to have a house rule against it) his response was "I didn't catch it when he first put it on and now it's too late because I missed the moment." I couldn't get him to explain how it was too late to tell him to take it off. The judge doesn't want me upsetting the boys because it upsets mom so much. 12 yr old asks me to do something and when he doesn't get the answer he wants he goes to dad who says yes. (He always says if he can yes to his boys he will) Now husband asks me what can we do to get son to stop son from going to him after I say no. When I suggested he needs to decide if he's going to stick to rules or let the kids continue running the house he walked away. I've told him I'm too overloaded right now and until he gets control over his kids I don't plan on being in the house when they're around. These boys are out of control and have contributed to my difficult child's issues. My daughter has had limits and consequences and the boys have treated everyone in our household terribly without consequence.