Still don't know if she's going in to marines...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by ksm, Oct 15, 2017.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    We have one week left. If she is going to follow thru, I want to have a celebratory gathering as a send off...but not if she's not going the next morning! My husband belongs to the American Legion, and is a Legion Rider, and he wanted to have the Legion Riders surprise her with a send off. They would ride motorcycles with flags up to our house... What a wonderful surprise it would be. What a bad one if she doesn't follow thru.

    Last week a friend gave us two tickets to Iluminate. They were finalists on Americans Got Talent this year. Kind of a dance, lights, music show. I had offered that our girls go together, as kind of their own girls night out. She said, sure, unless she "can't go". Uhh...what does that mean? Unless she could hang out with some friends at a dance bar 60 miles away. She always wants to go there...but her friends never follow thru...

    So, I told her I would just go with her sister and not be mad, but I wasn't going to wait until 6pm to find out if she was going at 7pm. Younger daughter and I had a nice time.

    I have texted her twice about a send off party...and she still hasn't responded except for "will talk you you later". I am not pushing her to go, or not I know it will come back to bite me.

    Hate this... Ksm.
  2. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    What is it they do to us they have no regard for the stress burned they place on anyone else.
    So many lost opportunities.

    I agree you should not push her and sorry if she is not responding to hell with a send off. Defer it to post boot camp. We stress yourselves so much.
  3. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Ksm. I feel that so many of us strive to do what other parents accept as normal. With a typical child, a send off party can be planned and enjoyed by family and friends. Families can plan vacations, leave bedroom doors unlocked, remodel rather than repair our homes, look forward to graduations, leaving home to begin careers and families. Maybe it is tme or us to stop trying to be normal parents. For most of us it is causing pain and angst. Perhaps we should stop working so hard for them and throw ourselves a party and celebrate all that we have done on their behalf. Just my 2 cents.
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  4. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    If she does go to the can rest assured that there will definitely be a second party just for me and husband and a couple family friends!!

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  5. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    These types of adult kids, who do the unexplainable, do not think beyond the moment. Notice they have no long term goals, like most people do. Everything is about today. Its impossible for us to make plans for them because they themselves dont know what they will do and plans change fast.

    These adults are very young children inside. Have that party for yourself if she follows call it a "She Actually Did It" party and enjoy!!
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2017
  6. Kalahou

    Kalahou Active Member

    Agree with the others, ksm.
    You're wise to stand back from her, and stop working so hard. If she does go, it's time for YOU to party!
    She obviously is not interested in any send-off- could be she (at gut level) is more & more unsure if she really will go.
    Appears she's not even interested in communicating with you.
    Save any Legion Riders surprise for Post Boot Camp graduation.
    Hang in there.
  7. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    She finally called yesterday. Says she is going in, but has been SOOO busy since Thursday. (No job, and had not returned to her dads house where she technically lives). One of her friends turned 21 this weekend...must have been a lot of work!

    Now she knows she ships out on the 23rd...but doesn't know if she has to be there the night before, which is another state... Hopefully she will find out today.

    We won't ask for the riders to do a send off. Will try to do a nice meal either at home or a restaurant nearby. I can't imagine the chaos/clutter she will leave behind where she stays at her dads...when she is not couch surfing...

  8. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Ugh, KSM.

    Yeah, a big, blowout, last call of a party is pretty normal before entry. husband didn't do it because he was a married man and all that, and because his "leave date" (he was on delayed enlistment) had already been delayed by 5 mos because he broke his ankle, and because he had to GAIN weight. He was afraid of something ELSE happening.

    What I can't remember (and it might have changed.) is the time frame between reporting to MEPS and actually shipping out to Basic Training. We were in Milwaukee at the time, and husband went through Basic at Ft. Leonard Wood, which is in the Ozarks in MO. I know he had a miserable bus ride there.
  9. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Finally! She finally gave me info.

    This Sunday, we have to drive her to a city an hour away, and be there between 10:30 and 11:00. At some point, the recruits will be put on a bus and go to OKC, a few hours away. They are then put in a hotel, and then on Monday morning, start the final processing at before heading to Carolina. Oops, I've already forgotten whether N.or S. Carolina.

    She is to take her drivers license, a small pocket size address book and $20. That's it. Yea! It's happening!
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  10. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Woo hoo KSM. I really hope this helps her develop and mature.
  11. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Fingers crossed, beads shaken, bones rattled:fingerscrossed::wootsmiley:
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  12. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    Parris Island South Carolina. Unless things have changed since I was in there are only two places for Marine Corps boot camp and the other one is in San Diego California. Parris Island is the only option for women.
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  13. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    That's it! Parris Island, S. Carolina!

    Today I just saw my son, and we were talking about her shipping out in a few days. I told him that she was only allowed to take her drivers license, a pocket size address book, and $20. So I needed to get her the address book and $20. Guess what he told me? She CAN'T Find Her Drivers License!!!

    I just helped (and paid for) her to get a new one two months ago!

    She hasn't been able to find it for a week.

    So I guess it will be another early morning wait at the License office...

    Last edited: Oct 17, 2017
  14. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    Unfortunately typical behavior that we're all too used to seeing.
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  15. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    I've never lost a driver's license in my life. I still have my German DL, AND my DEERS ID (military dependents' ID) from back when husband was in the service.
  16. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet


    How is your younger daughter doing? Maybe this will inspire her to do something good too!
  17. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    May be off, AGAIN!

    Her recruiter said she can't fly to boot camp without a valid license.

    If we go to DL office today, we will get a temporary paper one, with her photo. But he says she can't fly with that paper license.

    Celebratory party on hold. Me freaking out.
  18. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    What about people who just don't even have licenses? What do they use? Can she use any alternate form of ID?
  19. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Driver's License or State ID. Yeah, many states now issue the actual "hard card" from a central location. They give you a sheet of paper with your picture and info that is supposedly "just as good"...for most purposes. I had a bit of hassle with this when I had to renew my DL in 2010. Luckily, I kept the expired license and between that and the paper new license, was able to manage until the new card came.
  20. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Ok, called United Airlines, and was told she can fly IF
    1. We have the old license. And we do
    2. We have the new temporary paper one. Getting tomorrow.
    3. We have a police report of lost or stolen drivers license. Will do tomorrow.
    4. Take along birth certificate.

    Called daughter, explained what I was told, she called recruiter, he talked to his superior, so IT'S BACK ON!!

    I told daughter I would drive her &SS from OK to SC if they didn't put her on that plane.

    Desperate situations call for desperate measures.