Still inpatient

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by toughlovin, Sep 21, 2011.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    My son is still in the hospital. Basically the partial program he liked and was at for a couple of days before he was readmitted do not feel comfortable taking him back until he has been sober for 30 days. I think the hospital has realized that in addition to having some serious mental health issues he also has a serious drug problems. I mean what regular person gets discharged from the hospital and then goes and takes LSD? Pretty dumb... and clearly a sign of someone with a serious drug problem!!!

    So any of the tx programs he needs for his mental health, need him to be sober for 30 days. So the hospital is recommending he be in a residential substance abuse program. I don't think he is thrilled with that idea, BUT he has agreed because he wants the other tx program.

    The problem of course is gettingn a good placement, and I really want it to be one of the dual diagnosis programs at the hospital because i feel like they know what they are doing and will have the right outpatient program down the road.

    But they haven't found him a place yet... and he is getting pretty impatient (hmmm and impatient inpatient) and I hope it doesnt make him decide to chuck it all and sign himself out.

    So far he still wants help and that is great. He is also talkign with me more and we have had some good conversations as long as I follow his lead. I am staying as neutral as possible and just trying to be supportive of him and to advocate for him (with his agreement).

    However I feel a bit on pins and needles waiting for a placement and a fear that this will all collapse.

    So waiting and seeing.

  2. gma

    gma New Member

    I will keep you in my thoughts and hope they find a good placement for your son. During our rehab time, I learned a few things from my difficult child's programs and meetings... the one that I'm trying to live by right now is "just for today".
    Just for today, he is in the right place physically and mentally.
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I understand your worry and your fear.

    But if he's really ready for help, he'll do whatever it takes to get it, including learning patience. Keep being supportive, but let him do this with as little help from you as possible.

  4. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    HD thanks for the reminder.....he is so impulsive that he will do things or react without it makes sense for me to calmly point things out to him so he will think first....but i have to stop trying to solve the obstacles. Maybe they are put in his way to see how much he wants this.

    You all are so wise!

  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    If I could work with all my fingers crossed...I would. Just know that I am really really hoping that he gets a placement pdq. Waiting is not a strong point for any difficult child's and particularly those with substance abuse issues on top of their other issues. Hugs. DDD
  6. AHF

    AHF Member

    Thinking of you and hoping for the best. You are wise to be careful about the discharge plan. I know from very recent experience, since Peter Pan went for whatever was offered rather than be on the street, and it fell apart after 3 days when he refused to participate in substance abuse track, groups, etc. Such mistakes are costly in EVERY way.
  7. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Thanks.... I went to see him today. He looks so much more relaxed and so much better. I commented on this to him and he agrees he is feeling a lot better, doesn't know why. Hmmm maybe the right medications and not using drugs? I mentioned the medications but kept my mouth shut about other drugs. Anyway he is waiting until they find him a placement at a residential program. He is not crazy about still being in the hospital but he is no longer fighting it or threatening to check hismelf out. Phew. And we talked to the social worker. The hospital programs are really backed up and he may not be able to get int here so they are looking at a couple of other programs that hte insurance will cover... and will also start filling ou the application for the outpatient program he wants to do (and I want it for him) after he has done the residential.

    So he still seems to really want help. I am so relieved. We had a good visit. He didn't even seem like a difficult child today. :)

    OK I know it is a roller coaster and it will drop again but it is nice to start the weekend on a positive note.

  8. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    TL - When the bumps come, just remember that "2 steps forward and 1 back" is still miles ahead of "1 step forward and 2 back" or "nothing foward at all".
  9. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sounds very promising. I'm so happy for his willingness to get treatment.