It has been so long since I posted here that I had to re-apply under another name. Last time I was here I posted to thank you all for all the help and advice you had given me in the horrible years with my difficult child daughter and difficult child ss and had given and update. I have been a lurker for a while, to keep up with how old friends are doing. Heres and update on us: gfgdaugh is now 19. She and I had (and I say had as it's in the past tense) been having the kind of mother/daughter relationship I had always dreamed of. Although she had moved in with her boyfriend, he is a nice guy, she is in the university doing well, on the honor roll ect. So what happened? gfgdaugh wanted to get a breast implant (she had save the money to do it). She went with boyfriend to see the doctor and was scheduled to have the surgery about 3 weeks ago. I kept asking her if she had told him about the problems she'd had several years ago, where she totally lost her peripheral vision, had to undergo an extensive series of neurological tests to rule out a brain tumor, MS, ect. Needless to say, it scared the heck out of me! It was thought that it was possibly due to the bc pill and she was promptly taken off as her gyn said she could have a stroke. She has been ok, but suffers from headaches that are quite short but very intense and troubled her enough that she called me to ask me to set up another f/u app't. with the neurologist. Anyway, gfgdaug being who she is said NO she had'nt told the plastic surgeon because it had nothing to do with what she was having done and she wanted her breast implants. I told her that going under anesthesia, especially given her uncertain neuro status was not something to be taken lightly and I thought the surgeon needed to know, but she refused to tell him. So about 2 days before her surgery, after much anxiety and discussing with my family, I decided to speak to the nurse anesthesist and present the situation hypothetically. I know they are not allowed to discuss gfgdaug case with me, but I knew I could provide information. The nurse anesthesist was very upset, saying that in a case like I was describing they would need neuro clearance for the surgery. They cancelled gfgdaug surgery until she obtained full clearance from the neurologist. I should not have been surprised by what happened next, given our history, but that just goes to show you how rose colored my glasses are: gfgdaug called me, cursed me out (ah the good old days) said she would never speak to me again and hasn't since). I spent 2 weeks in a funk but have decided it's her loss. I am also grieving the relationship that I thought we had established. But I'd rather have her alive than be a brain damaged, on life support for the rest of her life. So I am living with the consequences of having told the doctor.