Strength comes as we let go

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Heartbroken mom, Aug 19, 2018.

  1. Heartbroken mom

    Heartbroken mom New Member

    My 42 year old son who is currently in a shelter
    But has found a job
    And has been on medication for major depression he also has other personality disorders
    Is currently looking for a new job as the shelter is helping him find a room they work towards independence for the shelter people
    He is moving forward but asks ne for money all the time
    He has been enabled for 12 years by other family member who is now deceased

    Long story
    The growth is my own
    I have held strongly to boundaries that previously I would not have been able to do and everytime I hold them
    He does end up showing up for himself
    But just last night after going off his medications
    He sent me a rant awful blaming major fog stuff

    I was able to go back to sleep get up exercise and not let it spoil a special time with my daughter

    I told him what he was doing and that I wouldn’t take it anymore

    He apologized but I kept and am keeping my boundaries

    Then this am he is back to job search

    All the posts here have helped me gain the strength and perspectives I’ve needed

    Refocused the love to myself

    He once again has to find his way

    And I remain at peace

    Thank you all

    I don’t write much but read here all the time and gain such wisdom

    Praying he continues to move his life in a better direction
    Knowing the old story doesn’t work anymore and I am caring for myself first

    It feels good!!

    When the spell is broken all that’s left is love
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  2. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Glad to hear you are sticking with your boundaries and that you are focusing on you. Self love is so important.

    I hope your son will find a job that he can stick with.

  3. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    It is difficult, we want to help them, it's so hard to understand they have to do it for themselves. I have finally accepted the fact that this is what my son will be.

    I too plan to live my life and let him live his. My son not only expects m to support him, he brings in others for me to support too. Stay strong!
  4. Snow White

    Snow White Temporarily in the Magic Kingdom

    Tiredof33 - I'm so happy to hear that the boundaries you have set are helping you to move forward. I also hope that he finds a job that will motivate him.

    I feel that with 'acceptance' comes some level of 'peace'. I will always worry but I have accepted that my daughter's choices are hers and hers alone. It is so important to keep our lives going forward strong!

    Great to hear that in the face of potential drama, you kept up with your routine/boundaries and didn't let it ruin your day. That's amazing!!!