Struggling with 5 year old Explosive in school

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Dreambeliever82, May 19, 2008.

  1. Dreambeliever82

    Dreambeliever82 New Member

    It feels so nice to read all the things I just read on this site. I have been at my wits end for so long now. My sons behavior has gotten so bad that there is no question he will physically assult at least one teacher throghout his day.

    I am so frustrated with his behavior. The explosive behavior is primarly at his school and after school programs. He gets very angry and violent. When he is home he is often scared to be in a different room then me. I am a single mother with very little help. I am scared I will loose my Job from all the time Ive had to miss because of his behavior.

    He was recently diagnosis with ODD. I just started him on .25 mg of Risperadol. I was reluctent and even feel quilty, but I wasnt left with many options. So far the rx has made No changes. I didnt expect a miracle, but it wouldnt of hurt either!

    Right now my biggest hurdle is not blaming the teachers at his before school program for the way i feel they treat him. He is isolated every morning because they cannot control him. Its painful for me to drop him off there knowing his experience will be negative. I have been looking for something printable to show them in hopes they would try not to segragate him. I would take any advice, or even just comforting words. Please help! Thanks,

  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Hi Erica, welcome, I hope you'll find good help and encouragement here. We request that parents not post children's pictures here for the sake of their privacy, so we'd kindly ask that you change your avatar. We've had some bad experiences with school staff, ex-spouses, etc. recognizing posters.

    What type of specialist gave the ODD diagnosis and what assessment process did he go through?
  3. Sara PA

    Sara PA New Member

    Scared when he isn't in the same room as you? Imagine how scared he must be when you aren't in the same building. I suspect his main problem is anxiety. Anger and violence are ways of protecting oneself when one is scared.
  4. jal

    jal Member

    You are basically describing my difficult child. He lashes out and has hit teachers, other kids ever since he was around 3yrs of age. If your child is in school does he have an IEP and a behavioral plan? My difficult child has responded very well to a behavioral plan and has just recently had a functional behavioral assessment and both his school (he is in kindergarten) and his daycare are on board. The new plan has started recently and he has been very responsive to it. My son also cannot stay in a room for a moment (at home) if no one else is in there with him. When we were first starting out difficult child was placed on Risperdal also. It did not help him and he began to display side effects (to put it somewhat delicately "man boobs"). Once we took him off that cleared up. Risperdal is known for weight gain too. I can't tell you the amount of time I missed from my last job having to pick up difficult child or take half days because he was out of daycare for a week or so because of his behavior. Not to scare you, but I basically lost my job of 9.5 yrs due to him. I would push your school for an evaluation. Having support and plans in place has made a lot of difference for our difficult child. Since this has been done I have not had one phone call from school to pick him up, nor one call from the new daycare he started when he started kindergarten last fall (he had been through 4 others). He has gone all year and has yet to miss one day of school. He still has problems, but they are aware and equipped to handle him. He is mainstream with-no learning disabilities, he just has outlets to let off steam (movement breaks, behavioral chart, social story times, etc.). Best of luck to you and know you are in good company.
  5. Dreambeliever82

    Dreambeliever82 New Member

    My son is recieving services through the school based health care program. He started to see a counselor at the school and it was recommended that he see a psyciatrist. The psyciatrist recently gave him the diagnosis of odd, and he also feels that adhd may become prevelent. We have a PPT scheduled next Monday. I consider his behavior as "expolsive" because the tinest thing will set him off. He becomes enraged and very violent. I have considered that there is some seperation anxiety going on. Any suggestions for how to help him not feel so scared? at home in particular? Also is there any information that I can pass on to his before school program about working with my son?
  6. Dreambeliever82

    Dreambeliever82 New Member

    Thank you Jal! What type of behavioral plan is it? I hoping that the PPT at his school helps us come up with a plan, but it is almost the end of the school year. Its hard because he goes to 3 different places throughout the day, so to get everyone to jump on bored is very difficult. Did you end up trying any other type of Rx? I am so happy to hear someone has experienced so may of the same things. Seriously yesterday I thought I was going to have a break down but this site has made me feel Not alone!
  7. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Dreambeliever, if he's only been through a school evaluation and has seen a school counselor then I think you need to pursue a private evaluation. Do you have health insurance? Our experience is that school evaluations and child psychiatrists may be important components of assessment/treatment but NOT the way to go if you're looking for full answers.

    The anxiety that you are describing is extreme. My child went through this and it's extremely debilitating, not to mention difficult on the child and family. This-or any number of other reasons-could what's behind the behaviors at school. What I'd like to see for you is to see your pediatrician and request a full evaluation at a university or children's hospital. You want him seen by a developmental pediatrician or pediatric neuropsychologist, plus occupational therapy.

    Is there any mental health history in the biological family?
    Beyond the behaviors and anxiety, has he had any other developmental differences: speech delays, very early speech, fine motor skills, overly sensitive to clothing or foods, transition problems, etc?

    What kind of doctor is prescribing the Risperdal? If it's not working, call the office back and let him/her know. There are many medications out there but Risperdal is one that the younger ones seem to tolerate better than some of the others so I wouldn't discount it entirely. He may not be at therapeutic dosage...or it may not be the right medication for him.

    If it's the end of the year and he goes to three different places you won't get a behavioral intervention plan in place for this spring. You would need to talk to his case manager and try to get it incorporated for his IEP for next fall, or for summer school if he'll be attending.
  8. Dreambeliever82

    Dreambeliever82 New Member

    Thank you SRL, The Child Psychiatrist he is seeing is private and through my private ins. I will have to look into him getting a complete evaluation through his pcp and a children's hospital. None of this was ever recommended to me before. He hasnt had any speech or develpmental delays. He does however seem very sensitive to food and its textures. There are time when he throws up everyday because something he was eating all of the sudden grossed him out. The possiblity of Turrets was metioned by his pediatrician, but I am not sure there is enough evidence to support that. Argg... I will definatly look into a complete evaluation. He is going to be attending a daycare program throughout the summer. I am hopeful that him being able to stay in one place all day will be helpful.
  9. SRL

    SRL Active Member

  10. jal

    jal Member


    I would request by registered mail a meeting to begin working on an IEP (if you haven't already). You can involve members of the other places your son attends to be on the team. When we started the IEP process with our school 2 of my son's daycare teachers were on the team. That helped to relay information to the team and for them to be part of the strategies that were developed for him. Currently he is not in that daycare and is in another that he attends after school (kindergarten here is only half day). This daycare is aware of his diagnosis and his rx and he has adjusted beautifully there. I think what helped is that he goes in with kids from his school (where he used to be picked up and taken to a different town for daycare) and being with his friends helps him to keep it together. They are recently using a sticker chart that has helped him to keep on track. Don't get me wrong he still has issues, but I have not had one phone call to pick him up like I used to when he was younger.

    My difficult child has been to a well known authored psychologist (not all their cracked up to be)
    We've been through 2 psychiatrists (the 2nd one is a godsend)
    He has had neuropsychologist testing (no diagnosis from that only agreement on mood disorder)
    Been through 1 therapist (currently looking for another)

    difficult child's IEP plan outlines a para (a volunteer for the school that shadows him). He has his own and SD had to hire another to replace for the whole classroom.
    Movement breaks, behavior plan (after certain intervals of time he has to mark down on his own chart how is behavior has been - this is positive as he hates to circle the frowning faces and likes to show his teachers all the smiley faces).
    School just hired someone to complete a functional behavioral assessment and we have given them access to speak with daycare.
    His teacher and I go back and forth daily in a notebook regarding his day.

    As for any other rx, you can see in my signature that difficult child is on 4 medications. These are to treat for mood disorder and anxiety. I swear he is definately ADHD, but stimulants send him over the edge and we have trialed them all.

    I certainly know what you mean about feeling alone in all of this and this site is a life saver. To know that you are not the only one that has been dealing with an emotional child who has difficulties in "normal" activites really helps. It is exhausting, draining and emotionally devastating dealing with all of this, but I think the one goal we all strive for is to get our difficult child's through it in the most postive way that we can so that they can go forth and be responsible, contributing members of society.
  11. Dreambeliever82

    Dreambeliever82 New Member

    Thank you again Jal,
    Not to sound ignorant, but what is an IEP? We have a PPT scheduled next week, may be I will find out more then. I also live in CT where Kindergarten is half day. I think it has been hard for him to adjust to all the different expectations at the 3 different schools. I am so happy to tell you that he had a great day at All 3 schools yesterday! You know I was able to take a relaxing breath last night!

    I think one of the most important things is getting my son's child care providers on board with a treatment plan and be able to offer suggestions on how to handle a child with behavioral difficulties.
    Thanks again for the support. What did you do about your difficult child being scared to be in a different room than you?

    I have to set up a signature!
  12. jal

    jal Member

    I'm glad to hear he had a great day! Phew! (That's what I always say when mine does too!)
    An IEP is an individualized educational program that you and the school design to meet your childs needs. It gives you a legal leg to stand on if the school does not live up to what they said they would provide for your child. A 504 is typically thrown out to a parent to "satisfy" them. School will say they will do this and that for your child, but under a 504 they do not legally have to uphold their end. Since you have a PPT scheduled and he is receiving some services through the school have they ever discussed doing a formal IEP?

    In the IEP (a typed document) it says that my son is to receive:

    A para (one on one that shadows and directs him as needed - SD pays for her)
    3 movement breaks a day
    Brushing therapy
    Behavioral plan in place
    Teacher to have daily communication with-parent

    Those are the basics of his right now. When we first went to them 2 summers (before he started school when he was four) they came out in the fall to his daycare and observed him and said he has no problems, but that they would follow up with us in the next summer before he was to start school. At that time we said there are still issues and the child will need support. Right before he was to start K we had a big meeting with the Head of Pupil services was there and said well we'll do a 504 he doesn't have any big issues (she's never met him). I said this will not fall under a 504, he needs and IEP. We agreed to have him in school for a month before a decision was made. I told them we will be in this room before month's end writing an IEP.

    You know what? We were. Luckily, our SD has been awesome to us and our difficult child. Even the functional behavioralist said that they were one of the greatest group of educators she has worked with and they all care for and want to help difficult child succeed. Our PPT team consists of the principal, dir of pupil services, kindergarten teacher, Special Education teacher, Occupational Therapist (OT) teacher, school social worker, school nurse, my husband and myself.

    As for the other question about difficult child being in another room, it's not so much that he scared it's anxiousness. He has to know where I or husband are at all times. If you go out, he goes out, if you go to another room he's pretty much right behind you. He can't stay by himself in a room for an extended period or let alone do anything by himself. Exhausting. At least he sleeps alone in his own room=)

    See your not alone - I am in CT too!
  13. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    If your son is in a school based intervention program, he may already have an IEP.
  14. Lauren

    Lauren New Member

    I am so sorry to hear bout your son's issues. I am very frustrated many days too.