difficult child came home tonight madder than snot, (is that a phrase?) after a visit with his dad. He is yelling and accusing me of making him feel bad about himself, when obviously - I wasn't even there!!!!! Yea, I talked to him on the phone for about 30 seconds, and he says that is what he is mad about??? I know dad was trying to help him get his head out of his rear about life, and trying to help him see that he had to move on, get an education, get a job - but I assure you that his methodology was to blame it all on me. "Your mom says"...........I am so sick of this charade. Seriously. Why do I have to be the one that bares the brunt of every single issue difficult child has? I actually am really worried about difficult child. He seems SO depressed. His dad said he actually cried when he was staying there, which I have not seen him do in years. God. Another difficult child lifetime saga? Really, I can't stand it. Then again I have been doing this for 17 years. What part of it can I not do? As another cr@ppy side note. Tomorrow my parents are insisting that I meet with them and the lawyers about their estate if they both die, and my will. H's death has caused them to talk about death and prepare for it incessantly. I HATE it. They are leaving for another one of their "high adventure outdoor trips" (don't get me started), in a couple of days and I am dreading it. Before each of these trips they inform me where their will is, and what to do if they die. Geesh. But this is the first they have taken since H died. I am worried. And as an additional cr@ppy cr@ppy side note - tonight I became obsessed about what H looked like when she died. I never saw her, and I need to know. But obviously that is not possible. I looked up info on drowning on the internet and actually clicked on a picture of a person that had been in water for 2 weeks.........oh, that was a smart move on my part. Not. Yes, I have looked into support groups, and none of them start for another month or so. Who was having the pity party? Meow? Can I come?