Wow Star. I hadn't even seen this thread. Where have I been?? Quite the Christmas Family (sic) Reunion ala daughter (Dufus Daddy). Unreal. Maybe the crack some in the air affected dude, not aliens, and have been whispering to him to move microwaves and such? I'm glad he's paid you back some and is back to work. I'm sorry that he had to be like many of our kids, and learn the hard way. Never easy. But sadly, it is often the best way for them to fully know the reality of those around them (or should I say NOT around them???).
Sometimes I have to shake my head and wonder if you Star are my cross continent twin. We do have some paralells don't we? Now Matt's bio-donor dufus daddy is not hitting the pipe. He does however tip any and all beer bottles pretty decently. If beer arm tipping was up there with winging it to left field, he'd be successful and have his own baseball card in the Big Leagues.
We too had a mini drama, as per usual, over the holidays. Daddy after near to 17 years now, still refuses to contact his beloved (gag me) son directly. Won't call him. Won't answer his calls when he sees our number on call display. So via bio gram (We'll call her Gram Gram as my Matt has begun to do, in a cartoon voice that slays me as I try to bite my lower lip to not explode with delighted laughter, the boy is slow at times but he DOES catch on!) ... yeah so via Gram Gram, Matt is told in early Dec. that daddy is going to send Gram Gram money. Indeed. For Matt to take a bus to visit The Old Man (Daddy's way of referring to himself ... CLASSY I SAY!) during the holidays.
No more contact until Dec. 27. Of course Matt, not having fell of a turnip truck yesterday, was not turning blue from holding his breath. On the 27th I answer a 8a.m. call (Suddenly its so urgent a issue after weeks of no contact that a 8a.m. phone call is the only way to get this all set up???). No sorry. Matt is sleeping, I'll have him call you back. Matt eventually rises. I pass along said message. He rolls his eyes and says Well, maybe Daddy has decided that since Christmas is days over now, he should perhaps acknowledge his offspring. (He even inserted a joke about the justice in the world that bio dad has never fathered another unlucky child)
In no rush, that evening Matt calls his Gram Gram. There is all of 7 days left in his holidays. 14 days before that held in breathless anticipation (not) and wasted. Anyhow, Daddy has surfaced on Gram Grams telephone. He has (GASP) no money left after the expense of The Holiday. BUT. He has asked Gram Gram to loan him cash for a ticket for his Offspring to visit, to celebrate the New Year with His Boy. Of course, he'll pay her back (Indeed, when his running tab of debt to Gram Gram get somewhere below the $20K mark, its on the list of IOU's ... um ... YEAH! Please pay ME first. The one raising Your Boy. You owe me over $75K back child support.)
So MY boy says to Gram Gram, tell Daddy to set it up and get in touch when there are DETAILS and a PLAN. (My boy who doesnt plan? He totally doesnt' want to hear a Plan Without A Plan)
New Years Eve. A day of reflection. On days gone by. On a year ahead full of opportunity to blaze a NEW trail. To look ahead to better things, a better you. To changes for The Better. And the phone rings. It is the Gram Gram. She who Dispenses The Messages. Umm, Uhhh, Umm .... Hi Matt. What is wrong Gram Gram? Cat got your tongue? A slew of Good Reasons why Daddy can't manage to arrange a Holiday With The Boy. My boy, he can be slow to get it at times. But some things get ingrained REAL young. Disappointment? Not at this stage. He laughed. Yup. In Gram Gram's ear, he laughed.
Then came the Promise To Send Christmas Money. In leiu of the missed visit. In lieu of the missed Christmas Present.
My difficult child has finally figured out The Real Deal. He responded to Gram Gram to please tell his dad to not sweat The Great Present of 2009. Since he has YET to get The Great Present of 2008,7,6,5, and the New Year's countdown was on
He then showed why he is truly his mothers son. He passed along the quip that rather than try to make up for 16 birthdays MIA, Christmas's MIA, Easters, Thanksgivings, graduations, ball games, blah blah blah, he would be fine if Daddy Dearest coughed up his UNPAID CHILD SUPPORT. Seeing as Mom, the Evil Uber Villain they all Love to Hate, considers it blood money and therefore it will, if it ever magically appears, be handed over to Matt. He informs Gram Gram he'd love that money as he's planning on getting a post secondary education in another year and it sure beats a loan. He also reminded her that just because ongoing payments owed will stop when he's 18 (he's wrong by the way, its after he graduates University if he goes direct from high school without taking a year off) the debt does NOT go away. See, he's got it figured My Boy. Daddy is waiting out the child support paying years, for the magical day that he no longer owes. And then, magically, the amount that will have surpassed $100K will be GONE. (HAHAHA I get simple delights in life. I can't wait for the day he gets the big picture that he will owe it till his grave)
Gram Gram tisked her grandbaby dearest. Your Daddy would pay if he was in a position to do so Matt. Don't sell him short. To which My Boy responded to sell him short would be to give it consideration at all and he'd given up years ago.
Needless to say Gram Gram asked Matt to spend New Years Eve with her to make up for his missed Holiday 'O Daddy. He told her he might be able to, if daddy would wire him the $2 bus fare to cross town to her place
. What a guy. He told her We's Too Poor For The Bus Fare Too Gram Gram.
She hung up on him. He came out of his room and filled me in on the Great Planning Session. I said how do you feel? He said, and I quote "Mom, same S^$*T, different day". Outta the mouth of babes.
I get a feeling Matt and Dude would have a pretty wild conversation if we could get them together.
And you and I? My twin? We too could have quite a conversation. We would drown the world out with our state of Zen.
here. 
