The 4 year old suspended for long hair

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Shari, Jan 12, 2010.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    is in the news again.

    The story says the school board decided to let him come back if his hair was neatly braided and loose hair doesn't hang below his ears.

    The parents rejected it saying braiding his hair will make his scalp bleed and break the hair. They plan to take him to school in a pony tail, but that's the most they'll do.

    They also plan to file further action.

    The mom also says she and her husband each work 80 hours a week, so it would be a while.
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member that is pushing it. How can they each work 80 hours a week and still take care of their kids?

    I did put Jamie's hair in both a ponytail and braids at different points in his life. I never had scalp damage. We had many boys here with long hair. Especially because we had many boys with indian heritage. It is fairly common here to see little boys with long hair. They either have long hair or very short hair. Let me see if I can find a picture of boys/jamie-cory6-8pout.jpg boys/jamiewhitesox.jpg

    You can see his hair in both of these pics. I loved his hair!
  3. babybear

    babybear New Member

    Now that is just silly. A braid is not going to affect your scalp more than a pony tail. I usually braid my pony tail to keep it neater.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    True. Keyana has such curly hair that we cant braid it easily but we use "product" in her hair and it is slicked down into either one or two pony or pigtails. I am desperately trying to learn how to do a french braid on her hair but having raised boys I didnt learn that particular Guess I will be studying youtube!
  5. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    That's what I thought. I always thought braiding was easier on your hair than a pony tail. And 80 hours a week? That's 16 hours a day...are you sure the problem is you don't have time to cut it instead of you don't want to???

    I'm sorry...that wasn't appropriate for me to say, but really? If he wants to grow his hair for Lock of Love, fine. Approve it thru the board first, follow the rules, and don't teach your kid to just ignore everything and do what you want, anyway. There's plenty of those around without having to teach some more to be like that.
  6. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    PS, Janet, get ya one of those old barbie hair and makeup heads to practice on.

    I taught myself to french braid on myself and then had a heck of a time applying it to something I could see in front of my face! Took me a long time to learn to do it on someone else, even tho I could do my own in a snap.
  7. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    I really feel sorry for the poor child.
    In the first place the school was wrong for having a stupid rule and trying to enforce it even though it made no sense. However, they've made an attempt to meet the parents halfway so I'm willing to give them a pass.
    The parents were wrong to make a big deal about the kid's hair. Even if it was a stupid rule, it was a rule, and I can think of no reason they shouldn't just say, OK, we'll cut his hair. Having taught little kids, I can almost bet that the other kids look at him and think he's weird. That will probably follow him forever. Having the parents making an issue of this is not helping the kid. He's going to be branded for years.
    I'm pretty much of a libertarian in a lot of cases and I feel people should be pretty much free to do whatever floats their boat, as long as it doesn't sink mine. But this is ridiculous. I doubt of the 4 year old has a clue about hair styles or political statements. He just wants to pick his nose and play with the toys.
    It's a case of both the school and the parents trying to use a 4 year old to make a point and they should all be ashamed of themselves. Doesn't anybody care about this kid?
  8. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I feel bad for the kid. I think the parents are using this situation to gain their place in the sun for a while. I mean seriously.....the family was on tv last night and the poor kid looked silly in the ponytail.

    I don't necessarily agree that the school should have such stringent rules, but he is going to preschool and daycare basically at the cost of the taxpayers, because he's in a Abbott district. The parents do have the option of paying for him to go to another school instead of going through all this and making the poor kid suffer. It is not mandatory that this four year old be in school at this point.

    In the meantime, they could fight the school about the rules, but I personally feel a little animosity toward the parents at this point, mainly because they are not protecting their child by dragging him through the mud in the media over a pair of scissors and a haircut. Off my soapbox now.
  9. skeeter

    skeeter New Member

    first off (both husband and myself have long hair), a pony tail is much worse on hair than braiding it. Even the best covered "bands" will break hair.

    My kids have attended schools with hair policies. Usually because someone has tried to buck the system too far at some time in the past.

    But it seems like the school has bent over backwards trying to accomodate and the parents are just wanting to be pains.
  10. emotionallybankrupt

    emotionallybankrupt New Member

    Me too! It's amazing how "different" it is...doing it on yourself vs. on someone else. You have to use your hands and fingers in a completely different way.

    I was determined to learn to do it on my own hair long before I had children. I worked and worked and just couldn't get it...until I quit concentrating so hard. My first success was when I was watching TV while I worked on it more "mindlessly." Even now, I do better if I'm not thinking about it too much, and, still, doing my own is much easier. Wow... I just realized I've been doing this for 25+ years. I've kept long hair most of my life, and so have my daughters.

    On somebody else's hair, it helps so much if you ask the person to hold the piece you're letting go of (taut), before you pull more hair over to join with it. Otherwise, the piece you let go of isn't separated from the other sections anymore, and it's hard to get it back.

    I think that's what makes it the hardest. On yourself, you're holding part of it in place with your palm. On somebody else, you have to do it all with your fingers, and you don't have enough of them!
  11. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    As far as I'm concerned, this is just another example of spoiled, arrogant people who think the rules don't apply to them.
  12. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I have only just seen this today, but honest to goodness, doesn't the school district have more than this to worry about? And who's business is it anyway? Why make a mountain out of a molehill? Now he'll never be able to cut it just for the principle of the thing!
  13. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I don't know this story. But form what I gather, I have some questions.

    First, does the school have the same rule for girls about hair being kept tied back? If not, then they are discriminating against the boy.

    Second, the parents seem to me to be NOW trying to make a big thing out of this. Braiding the hair is perhaps a safe option all round - it keeps the boys' hair neat and tidy as well as much safer from catching nits, from getting snagged in play equipment and from getting knots and tangles in it. And frankly, if both parents are working long hours, then it's a lot easier to braid the hair than to have to sit combing out tangles!

    A friend of mine has three boys, lovely kids. None of the family cuts their hair. It's not a religious thing, they're just hippies. We spend a lot of time with them. In fact, those boys are really great kids. But their hair has never been cut. Never. It's long, curly, blonde (white-blonde) and the eldest boy especially looks like a girl, in his delicate facial features. But there's nothing effeminate about them, nor do they seem at all phased by it. No bullying at school either. Or nothing that seems to bother them. The boys were home-schooled for a few years, have just gone back to school for the last few months.

    At the local school the boys generally have their hair tied back - ponytail, or braid. It's better for the hair.

    No big deal for anyone.

    Although it's a problem for difficult child 3 - he always has trouble with his personal pronouns, keeps calling the boys "her". I keep explaining - they're boys. He knows it intellectually, but the delicate features and beautiful long blonde curls make him forget they're boys.

  14. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    This is the first Ive heard of this but........Im sad for the boy & for everyone. Why make such a bbig big hoopla over it, certainly there are FAR more important issues in Life than this childs hair? This could be used to teach acceptance of the uniqueness of individuals........but instead it sounds like it is being a lesson in diversity. Over what? HAIR? in my opinion hair itself especially at this age is simply NOT a great and important life lesson exactly. Keeping it neat & clean, yes, but......short long pony tailed or braided? No.

    That said, we are caucasion here, VERY fair, & almost white hair on difficult child & son. VERY thick hair, difficult children is wavy. I wear my hair very long, & my girls loved long hair when they were little, too. I did comb it daily, threee times, did not leave it to them until they were by many others standards- rather old, like 13 becuz "I" liked their hair to look nice. We used hair time as bonding time. I did pony tail, pigtail & braid it, sometimes I braided it in one or 2 braids, sometimes 40-50 smaller braids, & sometimes Ibeaded the braids. I will say the smaller tighter braids DID break hair....sometimes a LOT of hair. BUT sometimes pony tails also broke hair if we were not careful. My son had beautiful hair. I left it long when he was preschool simply becuz I loved it & so did he. In preschool he did begin to get teased....but HE liked his hair. I told him we could cut it, HE did NOT want to. LOL. And now? My son LOVES getting his head shaved, just as well since he is in civil air patrol & must wear it VERY short. LOL.

    I can also say braiding did NOT save me time or tangles. The tangles mostly came from washing & swimming. even if my girls hair was braided, it would loosen in water and tangle, sometimes worse. And I will say, hey, I worked 80 hjours, sometimes 120 hours, cuz dang, I did what I HAD to do to feed my family, cuz my husband is/was 100% mentally disabled (GAF never higher than 30 since 1991) & we have no family at all, and he was/is also physically very handicapped. BUT his social security was just enough to put us a couple $ over the limit to get ANY help. We couldnt get help for medications, either.......and didnt have insurance unless I worked, and my work insurance didnt cover medications, & difficult children medications were almost $3,000 a month back then and so, I did what I had to do, & worked myself beyond extreme. It was so hard, very risky, and I was exhausted, with difficult child & her intense needs & husband and his intense needs..............and yes, I did collapse......Yes. my kids were at risk sometimes simply becuz I had to work so much. But as many here know, you do what you have to do sometimes. Even if it sounds extreme, weird, strange, abnormal, impossible.

    While we work so hard to get help for SERIOUS problems with our children, and while we live lives others could never imagine and noone should ever have to live, we needc to remember that some things are NOT a matter of life or death, more than anyone, most of us should know, every person is different & unique and these people seem to be thinking of that little basic principal. If were going to be biased against a hairstyle, how will we ever get people to stop being biased over serious mental -neurological problems?