Star*
call 911........call 911
I have to admit folks - it's been a really rough week by anyones standards. But one thing I know is that we're all here. Burying Steven last week and saying see ya again - was very hard.
So maybe right now I'm a little bit more in tune with my feminine side. And belive me - the funeral was NOTHING like we had imagined. Steven was not respected in death any more than he was in life. Hence this is how we became his other parents.
His death, has really made the living around me a lot more appreciated. A lot of things that happened at Stevens funeral were just wrong. I found out that he was driving the car, and believe me his family, even in death couldnt' find it in their hearts to forgive him. When it came time to walk past the caskets in the church? His family had his casket pushed to the side and back. The only one honored was his uncle. Steven did get a birth and death date announcement, and apparently one other older woman stood up and said "He helped me plant flowers." but that was it. The rest of the 2 1/2 hour ordeal was about the uncle.
We went to calling hours - drove over 45 minutes - only to find out that his Mom didn't wish for his casket to be viewed. We thought that was odd...and the only flowers that were there - was the casket spray we got him. NOTHING else - not even so much as a bud vase. There was a book for the uncle to sign - but not for Steven. I bought a beautiful Towle sterling silver tri-frame and printed some pictures of Steven from over the years and gave it to his Mother. I blew some other pictures of him at our home or on our boat up - and gave those to her as well. She seemed to be in a hurry - then we found out the real deal - there was a party going on behind their apartments. We were in the way of that. We left.
I broke the funeral line and went to the casket that was pushed to the back off to the side and it was the first and only contact I had with anythign to do with Steven. DF said after what we witnessed and how his family treated his memory - going to the cemetery for the burial was out. We literally envisioned them putting the rental casket back in the hearse after everyone left OR driving by, and pushing the casket out the back door with one foot and hoping it landed in the grave. Yes, it was that bad.
I know that Steven isn't "there" but to not honor the dead is hard on those living that cared. Then I got to thinking about how we honor each other (the living) every day. Stevens death has been so hard on Dude and after years not pining away for his other brother Kary - he's really having a hard time.
I guess - despite all our differences here...I hope today that you are not having a hard time. If you are? I hope that you know there are people out in the world that do give a dang about you and think about you and your kids and laugh and cry with you even though most of us have never met. I still say "My girlfriend in NC, or my girlfriend in WI, or CA, or FL or GA, or CO, or IA, OK, MI, CT, MO, AZ, GA, ID, IL, IN, KS,MN, NE,NV, NY.", or wherever you're from. and every day I come here I try to read, give advice that I feel will help. learn, or if all else fails just make you smile.
Whenever there is a board upheval? I really try to stay neutral because eventually it will blow over and things will go back to as they were. So with that in mind - I'm calling BOARD HUG.....
You don't have to like me - but I hope you can at least join the group appreciation hug - and lets move on to greater things. Because despite our differences - WE are ALL GREAT people....(some greater than others, but ONLy if your kid has been diagnosis narcissistic)
I'm HUGGING - and sending a hug to......
So maybe right now I'm a little bit more in tune with my feminine side. And belive me - the funeral was NOTHING like we had imagined. Steven was not respected in death any more than he was in life. Hence this is how we became his other parents.
His death, has really made the living around me a lot more appreciated. A lot of things that happened at Stevens funeral were just wrong. I found out that he was driving the car, and believe me his family, even in death couldnt' find it in their hearts to forgive him. When it came time to walk past the caskets in the church? His family had his casket pushed to the side and back. The only one honored was his uncle. Steven did get a birth and death date announcement, and apparently one other older woman stood up and said "He helped me plant flowers." but that was it. The rest of the 2 1/2 hour ordeal was about the uncle.
We went to calling hours - drove over 45 minutes - only to find out that his Mom didn't wish for his casket to be viewed. We thought that was odd...and the only flowers that were there - was the casket spray we got him. NOTHING else - not even so much as a bud vase. There was a book for the uncle to sign - but not for Steven. I bought a beautiful Towle sterling silver tri-frame and printed some pictures of Steven from over the years and gave it to his Mother. I blew some other pictures of him at our home or on our boat up - and gave those to her as well. She seemed to be in a hurry - then we found out the real deal - there was a party going on behind their apartments. We were in the way of that. We left.
I broke the funeral line and went to the casket that was pushed to the back off to the side and it was the first and only contact I had with anythign to do with Steven. DF said after what we witnessed and how his family treated his memory - going to the cemetery for the burial was out. We literally envisioned them putting the rental casket back in the hearse after everyone left OR driving by, and pushing the casket out the back door with one foot and hoping it landed in the grave. Yes, it was that bad.
I know that Steven isn't "there" but to not honor the dead is hard on those living that cared. Then I got to thinking about how we honor each other (the living) every day. Stevens death has been so hard on Dude and after years not pining away for his other brother Kary - he's really having a hard time.
I guess - despite all our differences here...I hope today that you are not having a hard time. If you are? I hope that you know there are people out in the world that do give a dang about you and think about you and your kids and laugh and cry with you even though most of us have never met. I still say "My girlfriend in NC, or my girlfriend in WI, or CA, or FL or GA, or CO, or IA, OK, MI, CT, MO, AZ, GA, ID, IL, IN, KS,MN, NE,NV, NY.", or wherever you're from. and every day I come here I try to read, give advice that I feel will help. learn, or if all else fails just make you smile.
Whenever there is a board upheval? I really try to stay neutral because eventually it will blow over and things will go back to as they were. So with that in mind - I'm calling BOARD HUG.....
You don't have to like me - but I hope you can at least join the group appreciation hug - and lets move on to greater things. Because despite our differences - WE are ALL GREAT people....(some greater than others, but ONLy if your kid has been diagnosis narcissistic)
I'm HUGGING - and sending a hug to......
