The difference between helping and enabling

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Tanya M, Dec 30, 2014.

  1. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

  2. 2much2recover

    2much2recover Well-Known Member

    Can I agree 1000%?
  3. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    I remember the first time I heard there was such a thing as enabling. Prior to hearing that word, I was so utterly certain I had done something wrong, hadn't loved them enough or hadn't been strong enough myself to be a mother.

    Back in the day, homosexuality and autism too, were blamed on poor mothering.

    Isn't that something.

  4. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    It was eye-opening to see how much of this applied to me. I need to watch this about once a week.
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  5. Hope_Floats

    Hope_Floats Member

    Allison's book about setting boundaries with adult children is the first book I read when beginning my journey of detaching and allowing my difficult child to live his own life. She hit me square between the eyes. I finally realized how much I was actually hampering his development by enabling. If you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend it.
  6. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    Me too. Great book, very readable and applicable. Sometimes while reading it I looked up and wondered how she was watching me parent without me noticing :cautious:
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