Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by guest3, Dec 3, 2007.
or maybe Oklahoma or Kansas
OK, you know what?
I've given him the benefit of the doubt one too many times. What a toad.
I am SO sorry for you and for that precious son of yours. Thank God he has a good mommy.
I think I would be saying "whatever" at this point........"see ya"!
He is definitely a major toad, with a zillion warts that will never be "fixed".
Yes, it is <u>super</u> sad about difficult child 2, I live with that kind of pain in my son daily. However, there is something to be said for peace. My personal belief is that peace supercedes all other positive emotions, even love. To have both love and peace is divine - but if I had to choose between the 2 - it would be peace.
Dont be too sure that he can just get a license in another state anymore.
States are now attached via computers so if he is blocked in one state, he is blocked in all.
My husband ended up having his license suspended in SC because of a ticket that we didnt even remember him getting in 1989. We moved from there in 88. Its possible. We went back to visit a time or two but they couldnt produce the ticket and all that jazz. However, they still suspended his license THIS year because they said he never paid the ticket. We will never know if that is true. We found it out when he went back to renew his NC license!
He couldnt renew his NC license because they had a block on it from SC!
Then SC had a block from GA but that was a mix up...they couldnt read. They had the wrong man. Same name, different socials, different birthdates, different races even...lol.
So dont be too sure that he will be able to cross state lines on a suspended license.
Janet is correct - it may not be so easy for him to just pop on over to a new state and get his license. My exh didn't have his license for 30 years and he once mentioned something about getting an out of state license and the clerk laughed at him and said, "try it - we do communicate, you know".
As for the devastation for difficult child 2? Yes, it will be painful for difficult child 2 at first and there will be a scar there, but difficult child 2's life will not be ruined by this. Together you and difficult child 2 will make a life and he will continue on with his education and friends and rest of family and he will be ok....trust me. There are no guarantees that even if you lived next door to stbx that he would remain interested in difficult child 2 and be active in his life. Unfortunately, divorce stinks. But fortunately, very often divorce also brings peace and light to grow in and that is what difficult child 2 will thrive on with you as the mommy.
I wrote, what I really thought about this man, and then realized - he's still your husband and father of your son. Not father TO your son - just of.
JoG is right - he's not going to get a license as easy as he thinks. It's more manipulation the system to make him comfortable. I didn't hear anything in that master plan about paying you back for the money you're forking out for his rehab at $100 per month while you and your son do without.
I think I would get him to write me a letter about his TN plans and take THAT to a judge so at least you wouldn't be out the extra $25.00 per week to put him through rehab. I think in your heart just like anyone who has been through this - you hope/pray/cry that there is SOMETHING about this rehab, someone there who will touch him, some divine entity that will visit him and change him forever so he's once again the man you love. Kinda like a Lifetime movie special.
There is ALWAYS hope. But reality has dealt me such a hand I have very little hope left.
I hope you get what you wish for and hindsight enough to know what a wish like that will bring.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: lostyetfound07</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Once he completes it he plans on moving to Tennessee and getting a license there prior to his court date here in NJ, and then never driving here in NJ again.</div></div>
And after Tennessee, Kentucky? Then Ohio, Pennsylvania... and so on. Eventually he'll have himself lmited to only driving in Alaska. Great plan.
I thik he plans to get it b4 they take it away here, he still has it until he goes to trial, he said his lawyers job is to put trial off as long as possible, so he can do rehab (to avoid jail) and move and get the license prior to going to trial here, being his friend lives there he may already be having mail delivered Occupational Therapist (OT) his friends address under his name to establish residency, who knows, but make no mistakes God himself would have to come down and tell me to go back to my husband (and I would ask to see his ID, LOL)!!! Satan takes on many forms, sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I think I'd call the TN DOT and give them a heads up.
Like HWGA said - GREAT plan. My x did this too. I think he at one time had 3 or 4 license but this was before the age of on line.
He gives toads a bad name.
Separate names with a comma.