therapist appointment today and the 1:1.......

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by LittleDudesMom, Feb 23, 2009.

  1. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So, difficult child had a therapist appointment this afternoon after school. I always go in for 10 minutes or so to chat, catch up, express concerns, etc. - love this therapist!

    Anyway, I was telling her a story about difficult child and his 1:1 last week and then I said, "By the way, I wanted to talk to you about the 1:1." She said, "I think I know what you want to talk about. I get in real early in the morning and pull all the files for the day. I made a note here in his file." She shows me the file and she has made a note "status of 1:1, is it time to pull away?"

    That's exactly what I wanted to talk to her about!!!! We are so on the same wavelength! So, I've been thinking about high school for difficult child. I know he's in 7th grade, but his home high school is an absolute no, so I need to start looking around now. He has actually expressed interest in a military academy that is part of our city public school system and easy child's high school which is in the next country. If the county school is an option, a 1:1 is out since it goes through social services and they do not use county money for out of district kids. I have mentioned to difficult child a few times over this past school year that we need to think about "weaning" off the Mr. S.

    therapist feels we should approach it this way. Over the next couple weeks, I should comment, "difficult child, I'm really proud of some of the choices you have been making at school." "You are really maturing." "I am really proud that you made honor roll." "You have really made tremendous progress at school this year." Stuff like that on and off for about a week. Then, in week two, start a conversation about the 1:1. Tell him that he has shown that he can really do this on his own and what does he think is a good way to transition away from 1:1?"

    She said he may baulk at first, but persist in a nonconfrontational way until he gets comfortable and offers a suggestion.

    Then, give her a ring and make an appointment for she and I to sit down and talk before we broach anything with the school (IEP team-wise).

    She thinks we should think about perhaps taking Mr. S out of the classroom and into the hall or the library. difficult child knows he's there if he needs him. Then Mr. S is only there 1/2 the day, perhaps the afternoon since he has an elective every morning and the afternoon classes are all academic. Then maybe Mr. S is there on M, W, F, and so on.

    She believes we need to plan a "safe place, safe person" giving difficult child a permanent pass to go to that person or place as needed. She also said that, in her opinion, it is really important for difficult child to see himself as not handicapped in any way as he moves forward to higher education.

    She believes it is really important to have the plan well thought out before the IEP meeting. She has offered to attend if I want.

    This 1:1 has been so much more than originally intended. It was a total crisis counselor situation at the beginning. With all the constant calls from school, rages, and trips up there to get him, calm him, etc., a huge sigh of relief on my part was heard the first day he had a 1:1. He was someone to run interferance, step in where needed, and allow difficult child to stay in school.

    But this Mr. S. is so much more. He is a confidant, friend, and mentor for difficult child. It's a little scary to think about someone not being there.

    So what do you guys think about this plan? Anyone tapered down a 1:1 after a successful run?

    Thanks for your thoughts.

  2. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    That is wonderful news!!! And it helps that you and the therapist are on the same page. You both know your son well. :)

    I think it is fantastic that difficult child has made such great progress. Congrats to him!!! I think the safe place plan is ideal. I think our children need to know ahead of time if they need to take a time out it's okay. My daughter always had a time out room with a monitor in it so that she could go in there and vent, yell, bang or what have you. That is really important as they could never do that sort of thing in a classroom!

    Good luck with the plan, it sounds really good. Even the military school, that's amazing that that is part of the public school system.

    Keeping everything crossed! :)
  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm glad difficult child is doing so well. I like difficult child's therapist and that she is willing to attend the meeting. The plan sounds good. If Mr. S is phased out is there any chance he would want to be a sort of "big brother" to difficult child?
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    that is definately an idea I would love! I tell you, I was talking with difficult child's art teacher from last semester (the one that got him into the animation class) and she said that he would be a perfect candidate for a Special Education teacher. Mr. S however, really likes being a 1:1 and likes working with boys in middle or high school. He likes working with one kid at a time and making a difference; and a difference he is making!