therapist thinks difficult child is munipulating me

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by feelinalone, Feb 14, 2008.

  1. feelinalone

    feelinalone New Member

  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Vent away! I'm sorry for your frustrations-I know I would be upset if I was being doubted. I'm glad the therapist is supportive and will be there at the start of the next appointment.

    I'm sorry the nurse seems to think it's all manipulation on difficult child's part.

  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    If this were me, I'd find new help. First of all, this behavior in my opinion is way too extreme to be simply manipulative. Secondly, I wouldn't want to work with anyone who threatened to turn me into CPS, even if it was only the nurse. She may turn you in even though the therapist talked to her.
    Who has evaluated this child? Did a psychiatrist come up with the diagnosis? A neuropsychologist? I personally don't trust therapists or even psychologists (except NeuroPsychs who do extensive testing) to diagnose and treat.
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    I'm so sorry.

    For two years, we were told that my son (difficult child 1) was manipulating us with oppositional behavior. He wouldn't do anything -- classwork, schoolwork, chores, showers, teeth brushing, you name it. When he completely shut down around Thanksgiving, we placed him in a day treatment program at a local psychiatric hospital for 6 weeks. The psychiatrist there adjusted his medications, and bingo, his oppositional behavior melted away. Even his outside psychiatrist is acknowledging that his new medications are causing him to be more cooperative and less depressed. In our view, he's a new kid.

    Repeat after me: "difficult child is not manipulating me." He has a mental illness. He's on the wrong medications. The psychiatrist is not doing you any favors with his current medication mix. My strong suspicion is that both Prozac and Ritalin (and possibly even Clonidine) are causing the violent behavior rather than treating it. And Abilify, the only medication in the bunch that has any hope of calming him down, can't do its thing against the bad side effects of Prozac and Ritalin.

    Is there any way you can get a second opinion from a new psychiatrist?
  5. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    So sorry for what is happening!!! I too would check into getting someone else or a second opinion. Shame on them!!! ((hugs))
  6. sandman3

    sandman3 New Member

    Oh, I know that feeling of being looked at like the welfare mom. I'm significantly older than you, but also poor, divorced, and I get the look all the time. Just ignore them...You know you're better than that and quite better than those that look at you that way. If only they had even the slightest clue what you go through everyday, their ridiculous opinion would promptly change!

    Hang in there, you're a great mom!
  7. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Read everyone's responses again, and learn from this. I would really watch what you say to ANYONE!!!
    This is a lesson I am still learning!!! You will hear that on this board a lot, protect yourself. You may feel you are just explaining something... but people DO NOT GET IT. You do not have to explain the "quiet room" we have one, it is our guest room for K, but taken out of context... people can do horrible things.

    K hits herself. She is almost 7. She does it because she is out of control. Our psychiatrist3,
    thinks we are over-indulgant, and she is so smart that she will become manipulative out of need...
    Will she? Are we?
    I don't know...You know what? You are trying, find someone you trust... try hard, rasie your child the way you want to see other children raised...

    Be proud of yourself and your child... If it is something you would be ashamed to admit... don't do it. That is how I try to live my life.
    I wonder if these people who are accusing you of these things and judging you can say the same???
    Hang in there.
  8. Jena

    Jena New Member


    im so sorry you are frustrated and i can understand your feeling regarding the pysch. it's important that you feel trust i think in that relationship.

    its also easy for people to judge and comment on a situation. they shouldn't of jumped the gun and unfortunately as i'm learning you have to be careful what you say and to whom.

    keep the faith

    your a great mom for taking the steps to help your child