Things are so bad right now

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jules71, Dec 27, 2013.

  1. Jules71

    Jules71 Warrior Mom since 2007

    Ever since we stopped his Concerta and have tapered off his Intuniv it has been beyond AWFUL!!!

    I don't know what to do. We cannot live like this another day.

    The only ADHD medication we haven't tried is Straterra. Should we at this point? It isn't going to solve anything quickly.

    I am so beyond (I can't even find the right word). I'm just exhausted and feel hopeless.
  2. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Hi Jules. Sorry things are so bad. I suspect there is a period after coming off a medication when things will get worse, a withdrawal period. I know people say there isn't for stimulants such as Concerta, but personally I don't believe it. Anything that alters the brain and the system in that way is going to cause a reaction when it is withdrawn. in my humble opinion.
    As to Strattera, you are right of course and you won't see any quick results with it - can take up to 3 months to start working. I've become a mini-expert since my son has started on it (there's a kind of Strattera journal on the thread "Medication for J" that will give an idea of one child's experience with it). The reaction to medications is so personal, of course. About two months and a bit into J's being on Strattera (and 3 weeks as "target dose" which is still slightly below the manufacturer's guidelines because of the cost issue), he is no longer hyperactive for the period it is working (about 7.30 am to 4 or 5 pm), is generally calmer and less hyper-emotive though his mood can be "flatter" and he can get irritable. I suspect the latter are because he is still getting tired with it, though it is not nearly as severe as it was at first. His focus and concentration are better, but not in a startling kind of way. He still seems impulsive but is more open to backing down from something impulsive when asked. All in all, he is less "ODD" while on it.
    If it's the only medication you haven't tried, what have you got to lose?
  3. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am sorry things are so bad right now. When my son was diagnosed with ADHD combined/highly impulsive type it took a number of tries before things began to improve - years in total. It was a combination of behavior mod at home, consistent and clear expectations and consequences, controlled bedtime routines for years, a really good BIP, then a 504, and eventual IEP, a switch to adderall, with eventual low doses of remeron (15 and then 30 mg) and seroquel (25 mg), along with weekly talk therapy to begin learning how it felt/how to identify when he was becoming angry and what techniques he could use to self-calm.

    It was a long time coming and seemingly it took forever, but in the end, worth it. It was a huge struggle from 2nd grade through 5th. Middle school got better and eventually he was tapered off everything but the adhd medications and moved on to high school. He stopped taking the adhd medications his sophomore year. He is a senior this year and has recently gone back on his adhd medications with great success. My son will never be typical, but he is a far cry from the kid who flipped desks and freaked out his classmates….

    There will be a light.

  4. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    medication trials are a test in perseverance for the parents in my opinion, I would try the Strattera. Though it may feel like trying to nail jello to a tree sometimes when you finally find what works it's well worth the effort.

  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sending hugs Jules. I know the medication merry-go-round can be so frustrating. My difficult child uses Straterra. It is the only ADHD medication he can take because of his bipolar. The stimulants cause him to be violent.

    There is another medication he takes (Clonidine) that isn't made for ADHD; it's actually a blood pressure medication but it has really helped difficult child a lot with his ADHD symptoms.


    Hi Jules - so sorry things are so bad. I feel your pain. difficult child is on 4 medications: Depakote, Clonidine. Celexa, and Abilify. I have no idea what, if any, is helping. difficult child tried Concerta and Vyvanse and stopped eating and wouldn't sit still. The psychiatrist wanted to put him on Adderall but I don't want to add another medication. he's still having meltdowns. I feel like getting him off everything and starting fresh. I really do. Hope things improve.
  7. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    It is frustrating for the entire family and everyone else that works with our kiddos while trying to find the right medications.
  8. Liahona

    Liahona Active Member

    Just good luck and hugs.
  9. Ledester

    Ledester New Member

  10. Ledester

    Ledester New Member

    I'm new to doing something like this but somehow it warrants me to reach out to whomever that is going through or has gone through what I'm in the beginning of with my child. I am raising my grandson he's age 6 yrs and has begun acting out. I'm not sure where it comes from or what it's intentions are but I rebuke it in the name of Jesus. I feel that my child is demon possessed, he is doing and saying things that he hasn't said before even though it's just now coming out. He's abusive verbally, destructive, defiant, mean towards his sibling. I've had him since he was age 2 weeks.

    He has been placed out of one school and into another school with smaller setting. The thing that's really getting under my skin is the words I HATE YOU, I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE, I DON'T LIKE YOU, THIS PLACE IS STUPID. He has not said these words before until June of this year. Yes, there were some new changes like moving, I went into the hospital to have knee surgery which he's been through that before. But I just gain custody of his sibling now 18 months and he doesn't want him here. In a mothers eyes, you would want your child to know his or her sibling no matter what especially at a very young age. I am the only support system they have. When start noticing the behavioral changes I immediately seek medical attention. He has been on several different medication and doesn't seem to be doing it's job. Me personally, doesn't think medication is the route to go since he's been a genie pig of several. I'm at the end of my rope, this is new to me and I don't know what I need to do or can do.

    I have looked into several avenues to help him and myself, I've signed him up to see a therapist while he's on medication, I am looking into some support groups so I can know what I'm doing. I'm from the ole school and this is not working for me or him. I have begun to distant myself from him to ignore the words and behavior but it ain't working. He has begun to destroying the house and breaking things as he says because he's angry and I make him mad. WHAT? He' s so disrespectful, I don't want this in my life or in his. I need help before I'm put away from mental breakdown. Any suggestions is greatly helpful.
  11. Ledester

    Ledester New Member

    I feel your pain. I don't know if this is going in the proper order nor feel this thread isn't right see this is just how stressed beyond stressed I am and I'm literate on a lot of stuff however, today and any other day I feel dumb
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Both new posters, to get a better response, may want to start separate threads about your issues. Has your child had a total evaluation? Sounds like therapy only will not be enough for your grandchild.

    Grandma, I'm sixty years old, but had two of my kids very late in life (adoption). I think things are done better now and if you don't go along with the way things are done, you may not get any support or help from the school or social services and you could need both.

    If your grandchildren had very chaotic early years, including possibly many caregivers, neglect, abuse or foster care placement, they could have attachment disorders of various types and that triggers very serious behavior; worse as time goes on if there is no serious therapy from somebody who understands it...and can help YOU learn how to handle him. Here is a link about attachment disorder. I think you should at least give it a could help you understand your grandchild.

    You are dealing with two children who have had incredible upheaval in their lives. It makes sense that they will not behave like children who lived in stable homes all their lives. Too much has happened. I would not take their words to hurt you. They may be wishing things were different and can you blame them?

    I think it would help if you also got therapy to understand them better.

    I am assuming you don't really mean your child is possessed and were only making a joke. If not, I'd think you need the help more than ever!!!

    Feeling badly for you and keeping you in my thoughts. Hope you start your own thread so others will chime in.
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2014
  13. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Jules71, was he having a bad reaction to the Concerta? I'm sorry, I don't recall why you took him off of it.
    So sorry you are going through this!
  14. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    Jules, hope you're doing ok check in when you can

  15. Jules71

    Jules71 Warrior Mom since 2007

    Terry - he was getting depressed and ended up having a panic attack which sent us to the ER.

    Thanks Nancy! I am about to post a new thread - there is a lot going on right now. Uggh.