I know a message board isn't the same thing as getting a true evaluation, but I so waver from thinking she has a problem to thinking she is just a normal 3 year old doing the typical naughty things. To me, she has seemed "harder" than other babies since birth. She cried more and was hard to make happy. She is loving and bright, and I enjoy her, it was just like she had an idea as to what she wanted and it was hard to figure out what that was. Now, at 3 1/2, she still doesn't sleep through the night. She is also hard to put down. If someone lays with her, she goes to sleep within 15 minutes or so. Unless she's really tired though, she won't stay in her bed by herself. She is up 2, sometimes 3 times a night. She doesn't stay up, she just cries, and I will go in there and pat her back or give her a drink, and she will go back to sleep. She was in preschool, and did okay. The first part of the year she would cry and cry and cry when I left. It seemed like all the other kids just go and play and sit down, and she would have issues. I guess she behaved most of the time, but she did get some bad notes sent home, mainly for not listening and being still during circle time. I don't THINK she was defiant at school. Her naughty notes said things like she took someone's food and threw it away. I asked her why, and she said because he dropped it on the floor and then was going to EAT it. That was her version anyway. So she took matters into her own hands and threw them away. Also, sometimes she would run around the classroom and not stop when the teacher told her to. She's occasionally defiant at home, running from me if she doesn't want to do something. We follow that up with discipline and she is getting better. We have the hardest time getting her to eat at the table. She doesn't like most foods and she doesn't want to sit still. If we go out to eat, it's not fun. If it's a wait-service restaurant and she has to wait to get her food, she misbehaves or wants to run around. It seems like all the other little kids just sit quiety and color. Not mine. So I don't know that defiance is our issue as much as she is very needy. She won't sit and play by herself, she wants SOMEBODY with her at all times. Sometimes she will call me in the middle of the night because her blanket has fallen off. Well, she could pull it up as well as I can but she doesn't. She doesn't want to wipe when she goes potty, she wants someone to do it for her. I can understand the #2, but wiping for #1 just isn't that hard. She CAN do it, she just doesn't WANT to. The other night we went out for burgers. I stayed in the building to wait for my older daughter, who was using the bathroom. My husband had my little one and they were walking to the car. She asked where I was, he told her, and she broke lose of his grasp and ran across a busy parking lot back to the burger place! I was so scared. My husband was yelling at her to stop the whole way and she just kept going. When she gets tired, she is AWFUL. Other kids whine and cry, but she takes it to a whole other level. This weekend we had been out all day, and were out a few hours past her bedtime. She cried and whined and i put my hand back to hush her and she bit my finger! I do spank occasionally, not hard, but it usually got her attention and she would cry and stop the behavior. Last time I spanked her, she told me it didn't hurt, so I spanked her harder, and she said that one didn't hurt, and so on. That seemed very defiant to me. So.....I just don't know. Sometimes I think she's just being 3, but then other kids seem so calm and easy compared to her. I love her so much, and most of the time she is a delightful child, but when I compare her to other kids she just seems so much harder, and I can't really put my finger on it. Thoughts?