Tigger restrained

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, Feb 18, 2009.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    How he can maintain for 6 months at one school and not 2 days at the "better" school??? Yep, staff :mad:

    I was livid, they did so many things wrong (his behavior plan calls for them to call me after 15 minutes of a problem, it went over an hour before they went to restraint but no one called). They said they had to restrain because he tried to leave the classroom. So? Where was the imminent danger to self or other??? The principal's response was he didn't know what the criteria was for a restraint but he couldn't wander this building the way he wandered his old school. I told him they better never lay hands on my child if there wasn't an imminent risk of harm.

    On the good side, this staff seems to use restraint to help a child get control and move on where the old school (2nd-3rd grade that I withdrew him because they were restraining him for small things and inappropriately and people were getting hurt). They did deep pressure massage while in the restraint and kept telling him it was okay and he was okay. He reported that he thought the restraint was good as they did squishes and let him calm down.

    The other good thing was they had him continue his day (with lighter expectations). The old school saw a restraint as a punishment and always sent him home -- usually suspended for the day.

    I have very mixed emotions.
  2. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Let me get this straight! The principle actually told you he DIDN'T know what the criteria was for restraining a kid?!?!?!? If that is the case no one in that school should restrain any child!!!! Uh, I think he put his foot in his mouth with that one.

    As far as I know wandering into the hallway does not EVER meet the criteria for a restraint unless he has a knife or gun in hand!!!!!!!!!!!!

    UUURRGGGHH!!! I am so sorry!
  3. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member


    It is an odd situation as the class Tigger is in (as well as 1 other) are co-op programs using space in the building and they don't report to the principal. I am going to provide the principal with some light reading on the legal limits for restraints in public schools ;) He was the only one I snapped at as I told both the asst principal and the teacher (the two who did the restraint) that I was upset but that I wanted to hear them tell me what happened because I had it 2nd hand (from the program supervisor -- essentially the off-site principal for the class). The asst principal is good friends with my sister and brother in law and she was very calm and seemed to really want to help Tigger. The teacher was clearly scared of me and couldn't tell me exactly what happened. She does seem to care and I told her I wasn't looking to yell at her I just wanted to review what happened and to see where staff could have done things differently -- i.e. his behavior clearly showed that he was having difficulty and needed some intervention (deep pressure, etc.) but it wasn't offered until the restraint; that despite my having gone to the school to explain how important it was to have a safe "go to" place, they hadn't chosen one yet so Tigger had no safe spot to run to when he felt overwhelmed.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Why can't they section off part of the room with bookshelves or something, toss a blanket and pillow and some books back there and let Tigger go there when he is upset/overwhelmed? Even in 5th grade they had that in Wiz' pull out program!

    The principal is a moron if he doesn't know the legalities of the restraints. ALL our principals MUST know this in our SD. Just like they all have to know how to give an epipen and a breathing treatment and any medicine. I think giving this person info on restraints is an excellent idea. As long as Tigger isn't leaving the school, I see NO reason why some wandering can't be allowed as long as he isn't interrupting other classes.

    Sheesh, What idjits!

    I am glad Tigger felt it was to help him. Hopefully they can intervene earlier with the deep massage, etc... so he doesn't get so upset. As for why he is in trouble on day 2 in this "better school", it probably is because it is a change. Most of our kids don't do well at all with change. Even change for the better.
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hmm. Odd that the principal doesn't know.
    So sorry they didn't call you until an hr had gone by.
    I hope tomorrow is better. I'm sending calming thoughts.
  6. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    This definitely is something they should have made you aware of when difficult child started this school. There should be documentation regarding which teachers have had proper training (and it should atleast have yearly refreasher courses). The school should have discussed your willingness to use such discipline and under what circumstances. I would think you would have to sign a release before a restraint can be used unless under extreme emergencies to keep himself and staff and other students safe. I would have let him leave the room and "wander the hall" this one time until a meeting was called with you and difficult child to discuss the acceptable alternatives.

    I would also have mixed feelings since the end result does sound like a positive redirection for difficult child and he felt that it was for a good thing and not having staff being judgemental.

    You did handle it very well in looking for the facts before getting too angry. Does Tigger know you are upset with the staff? I would also talk to him about how he thinks things could have gone differently. Also, if you truley believe the staff did this for Tigger's best interest, let him know that they were trying to help and that you want him and the staff to find an easier answer than restraining. He needs to know that EVERYONE is doing their best for him.

    Now maybe staff will be more open to listening to your knowledge about your son. I think many times people don't really understand why we set certain boundaries up for our kids until something like this happens. Have another sit down with everyone involved and go over your expectations again.

    I hope tomorrow is better. It is a big positive that difficult child felt that they were helping him even if they choose a not so wise way of doing so.
  7. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    Sorry to hear that Tigger needed restraint, but I find it interesting that he "enjoyed" it or how much it calmed him. Does Tigger have access to a pressure vest? It helped wm with his sensory issues & we still use that & other things for wm's sensory problems.

    I hope school does a better job of contacting you but in my humble opinion it sounds like they did a good job with Tigger. AND you didn't have to run & rescue him - you won't always be able to do that & he must learn that. I don't mean to sound harsh however I learned the hard way when I had to decide in a crisis between who was more critical - kt or wm. I couldn't be in 2 places at once.
  8. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm kinda with Linda here. Tigger felt relieved and calm and you didn't have to rush to his side. Although I do totally understand your feelings especially given the principal's comment on lack of restraint knowledge!

    It would appear that there are some trained and caring professionals working with Tigger.

    I think I would address the restraint issue with the principal as you see fit. I do understand their justification with the restraint when Tigger left, or wanted to leave, the classroom.

    This is a mainstream school and Tigger's program 'rents out' space. Obviously there is a concern, especially given Tigger was brand new to the program, about how this would affect the larger population. I think it's tough for us to emotionally remove ourselves from the idea that others can often perceive our kids as a threat, especially when they are "out of control". There will need to be a learning curve with Tigger and this new staff.

    It sounds to me as if they do care.

  9. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Hi all,

    Thanks for all the comments.

    Tigger was at another mainstream school in this same district (it is our home district just a different building), he was allowed to choose safe spots in the school to go to when he felt the need to escape. I tried to get the teacher to understand that she needed to do that ASAP but she didn't get it. Part of the problem is that the program supervisor got the idea that he is a runner and he isn't in the dangerous sense, he won't run away from school but sometimes he needs to change his location in the school quickly.

    Our Special Education director met with all of the staff that will possibly be working with Tigger at the new building yesterday after school and I am meeting with them on Monday.

    I didn't want them to call me so I could rescue him but if they would have called and said he is hiding under the table and squishing himself between a chair and the wall, I could have told them he needed deep pressure, they could have done so and it wouldn't have gotten so out of control.

    I did some deep pressure this morning before school so I hope it helps.
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I could have told them he needed deep pressure, they could have done so and it wouldn't have gotten so out of control.

    I did some deep pressure this morning before school so I hope it helps

    Both of these are great ideas.
    Sending hugs. :)
  11. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Well, the school sent Tigger home this morning for a totally easy child reason - he had a 101 degree fever and is complaining of throat pain, headache and double vision. The teacher thinks he was starting to get sick yesterday because he kept rubbing his head.
  12. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Awww, poor kiddo! That could maybe explain why he fell apart, too. Well, hopefully he'll be better by Monday and he can have a fresh start.

    Fingers crossed you don't catch it, too!
  13. BestICan

    BestICan This community rocks.

    Ugh, JJJ, sorry Tigger is sick. I know that every time my difficult child is coming down with something, he is very prone to behavior issues at school and regressing at home. Many times we don't see the connection until a day or two later when the fever hits. I know there are legitimate issues with the staff figuring out Tigger, and Tigger figuring out the new rules, but I wonder if the impending illness had anything to do with Tigger's recent hard day?
  14. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Awww, poor little guy. Hope he's better soon. And hope they get the issues resolved.

    Tigger's situation sounds much like ours at this point. 18 months ago, wee difficult child was in an early intervention preschool where he was considered the easy child of the class...all because of a teacher who was able to handle him. Now, the sd is looking to boot him because he's too "threatening" to keep in the school....funny thin is, he only threatens when he's being restrained by staff who've allowed a situation to get WAY out of hand or who won't leave him along to him hide in his safe spot... I digress. Hope we both get answers.
  15. jal

    jal Member


    It sounds like your difficult child is in a position like mine. My son's program has space in a mainstream school too and like you we have no contact with the principal of that school just his teachers, aides, therapist and program directors. We were told by the staff upfront that they have to go every year for child restraint training and that they are all trained in how to properly do it. Now my difficult child has had to be restrained only 2 times. The first time it happened I did get a call from the therapist (becasue she was the one that did it) to inform me that she had to do it and why. She didn't want me not to know in case difficult child came home talking about it, she wanted me to be aware. The second time a note was sent home in his daily communication log.

    Hang in there...I know going into this type of program is nerve wracking and that you have mixed emotions about it. I have been there too. I know now it was the right thing and difficult child is thriving there. He's learning, he loves school and he's so much happier than he was in mainstream and he's doing his work.

    Also did your difficult child have an IEP in the mainstream school and if so was it written in there that your difficult child could go to a "safe" place if need be? If so, your IEP from mainstream carries over to the new program and they have to follow it.
  16. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Tigger has been on an IEP/IFSP since he was 6. He was a part of the at-risk program before that. The "safe spot" wasn't written his IEP because it was a "Plan B" accomodation that his former principal worked out with Tigger. The old school was built about 50 years ago and had nice big trees that Tigger would go to when he was upset. The new school was built 3 years ago, has little stick trees as it was built on farmland, and I walked all around it and couldn't find a good safe spot. Hopefully on Monday, we will be able to figure something out.