totally aggravated with difficult child 2

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by confuzzled, Oct 14, 2010.

  1. confuzzled

    confuzzled Member


    the dreaded school phone call.

    about how difficult child 2 is constantly putting her head on her desk (actually feel asleep yesterday) and is yelling at everyone, particularly when being corrected over something.

    so now the school wants to give her detention as a "natural consequence". at least they had the courtesy to call and discuss it with me--for that i'm grateful today.

    i just give up. i have no idea what my difficult child 2 is doing. i have no idea if she's actually tired, or just bored. i have no idea if she is irritable for a reason, or if its just puberty and her general inappropriateness. i have no idea if abilify is helping or hurting the situation. she also gained a boatload of weight--again, abilify or puberty? for all i know it could be the change of seasons--she does seem to ramp up in fall. i do understand she just cannot be doing any of it.

    i also have no idea why, when she has a personal aide, that i'm not being informed of these things daily and why i'm blindsided by all of it....most likely because when you ask difficult child 2 how the day was the answer is always f-i-n-e.

    her attitude isnt fabulous at home either, but its not as bad as school.
    *she* doesnt seem to care, and i'm not totally convinced she is able to control any of it. she knows all the babblespeak, but heaven forbid she actually implement it.

    i just have no idea how to fix the situation, particularly if difficult child 2 herself isnt up for the task. i can't "make" her behave.

    i drag her to therapy. in fact, since things dont seem to be working, i found a new therapist and a new group, both slated to start next week. i have high hopes...why, I don't know, but i was very positive about the whole thing until today. now i see myself throwing good money after bad for no real reason.

    there isnt even any real point to calling the psychiatrist since i'm sure he'll just say keep her on the abilify, and everything else is unrelated, and tough noogies--"redirect her behavior".

    maybe i'm just feeling sorry for myself, maybe i'm just at the end of my rope, I don't know, but i gave my permission for this detention business, even though it *feels* kind of wrong to me (without knowing the reason why any of this is happening) and felt like saying, 'start looking for out of district placement". i'm also strongly thinking about home punishment, even though that also *feels* wrong, but this cant go on.

    we are pretty much exactly where we started, except she isnt sitting in a corner crying and she seems to be grounded in reality. today, at least.

    i'm open to any thoughts or suggestions at this point.
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Is she taking Abilify in the morning? If so, it could be making her sleepy. It absolutely could have caused the weight gain, and if it's not the right medication for her, it could cause all the apathetic feelings. I have a friend who just took her daughter off of 15 mg Abilify and her daughter IMPROVED immensely. My friend couldn't believe it.

    I'm sorry you're struggling. We went through the medication merry-go-round with my son for years, and he finally did better when we got him in the right educational setting (Residential Treatment Center (RTC)). Sometimes that's what it takes for complicated kids like ours.
  3. confuzzled

    confuzzled Member

    thanks smallworld...

    no, i give it at night since i am aware that it could cause drowsiness. she is a pretty decent sleeper--goes to bed by nine and i do have to wake her at 6:45--i would think she's getting more than enough sleep that she shouldnt be falling asleep in class.

    i'm seriously considering ditching the abilify. (psychiatrist is of no real help--thats my next project). we gave it a good try--she's been on various doses since oh, about march i think...more than enough time to see if it help or not. i get the part about s/e being a necessary evil in the stability road, but based on todays call i'm not seeing how. (if of course its medication related and not PITA related). and obviously i prefer tiredness and yelling over breaking with reality...i'm really not up for that right now.

    i'm assuming she'd need to be weaned slowly so i'll have to look to see if i have any of the 1-2mg tabs left. i wish i could get another psychiatrist on board fast but thats not likely to happen--i'd prefer to try to be a compliant mom, lol.

    encouraging to know your friend saw improvement---did the weight come off too?

    being on this merry-go-round might be easier if we had a meeting of the minds, a firm diagnosis, and less apathetic docs.