Totally lost-oldest stole truckload of fuel

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Lori4ever, Jan 16, 2007.

  1. Lori4ever

    Lori4ever New Member

    I have learned info this weekend that kills me. I have always known that J would never seek help for his illness and that I couldn't make him. I always thought that as long as I could help him if he bacame depressed, it wouldn't matter. It was brought to my attn that he was caught on camera stealing a truckload of diesel fuel. What next?! How do I handle this. I can't take much more.
  2. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Oh goodness, Lori. I'm so sorry. Has he been arrested yet?

  3. judi

    judi Active Member

    SO sorry! What is happening now?
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    Well a truckload of diesel will be considered a felony because of the value. Has he been in trouble before? Do you want to consider hiring a lawyer? His bail will probably be what I would consider steep. Probably commensurate with the value of the fuel. Does J have a job? That would be good at a bail hearing. You can put the deed to your house up with a bail bondsman if you feel he wont run. Or I think its 10% cash down. Maybe its 20%...I cant remember because I never did it. Corys were always either cash or property and I refused to do property.

    If he isnt working or he doesnt make too much he can get a court appointment lawyer. Here they are pretty good. They pull from all the local lawyers to rotate thru the appointment them to people so you can get the same lawyer you may have hired if you could pay for him.

    If your son hasnt been in any other legal trouble he may get through this with fines, a suspended sentence, community service or maybe some weekend jail time if he has a job. If worse comes to worse maybe he gets a few months. I hope nothing more than that.

    Let us know how it goes. Do tell him the best thing he can do is to turn himself in and not to run from it because that just makes things so much worse.
  5. transformtriumph

    transformtriumph New Member

    Maybe you can try to facilitate psychiatric treatment instead of jail time, if this is his first offense.
  6. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    I'm so sorry. Stealing just rips one's heart out.
  7. Lori4ever

    Lori4ever New Member

    J does have a job. It was his job that he stole the fuel from. What makes this even worse is this man has known J grow up. The whole family works here. Mom, Dad, one brother. This man is more friend than employer.
    He has decided not to press charges because it's a felony and says he only wants to help him. He is encouraging mental health help. I only pray that he doesn't come to regret it. I still can't believe he did this.
  8. KFld

    KFld New Member

    He's very lucky that this guy wants to help him. Hoepfully you can all figure out a way together to get him the proper help he needs. You never know, it could end up being a blessing in disguise. Sometimes things happen for a reason, though it may not seem it now.
  9. kris

    kris New Member

    i'm going to be brutally honest. your friend/employer is not doing your son any favors by not pressing charges. he's 23 & it's high time people stop making excuses for him & cutting him slack. he needs to be held accountable. he will do it again...or worse...if someone doesn't take a stand.

    i understand the fear of him being charged with-a felony, but if it's his first offense that charge will not stand. they will plea it down. will he still do time....maybe.

    you say he's always fought against treatment. so what about this situation will change that? not a thing that i see if the owner doesn't press charges. does the owner even have the option to not press charges? i don't think you get that choice with-felony charges ~~~ & they have him on tape.

    i'm starting to ramble so i'll stop now lol. i do understand your fears for him but he's an adult & needs to be treated as such. next time it won't be a family friend he robs.

  10. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    did he return the truck/fuel?
    can you sit him down and use this as leverage to get him some counseling?
  11. judi

    judi Active Member

    I have to take the hardline approach too and it is very hard. Our son who is very resistant to any help too has had to bear the consequences of his actions. It won't be a felony by the time it gets done - believe me, my son has been in jail several times, been given community service, had court supervision and it was wiped off of his record! He has NO CONVICTIONS now.
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    I would assume that this friend owns the company and has the right to make the decision to press charges or not. Whether that is in your sons best interest is debatable. I can understand this mans dilemma. Here he is a friend of the family and he has to make a choice to either help or have someone he has known forever arrested...not an easy choice to say the least. He is between a rock and a hard place. He probably feels like so many parents do when faced with having to make the choice to have their kids arrested.

    If your son is now scared enough to accept help and find out what made him impulsive enough to do this act then that is good. Of course, falling on the sword and groveling is a no brainer.

    I feel for you...I really do.
  13. kris

    kris New Member

    <font color="blue">i realize that treatment is always the first hope of any parent, but i think there is another important issue here.

    your son is what, 23? isn't it time for him to man up & take responsibility for his actions? if not now....when???

    kris </font>
  14. Irishkalleene

    Irishkalleene riding the roller coaster

    My heart breaks too for you. I hope good comes out of this.