This weekend has been a difficult one. In a way, the worst we have had. J is currently sleeping on the sofa and I have a couple of hours respite. Yesterday afternoon (after a reasonably peaceful morning), he began raging - exploding, insulting, shouting, flailing arms and legs and trying to kick me if I came near - because I would not let him have my USB key to play with as a toy. At one point I pushed him back quite violently to stop him kicking me. He spoke to me rudely, as well as trying to hit me. These are two things which, for his sake as well as mine, I feel cannot now be tolerated. He is five; no longer a small child who cannot help himself. I made him run around the block - not easy, of course, to get him to accept this - and when he came back he wanted to say sorry and was in a different frame of mind. But there were more incidents in the evening of him exploding. Then this morning it started again when he exploded because I wanted him to put on his slippers instead of his boots inside - it turned out they were now too small for him, but he could not say that to me, he could only shout and scream incoherently. And then several more explosions. Basically he wants to behave like "king of the castle", doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants and explodes whenever he is constrained. People here may not feel that ODD is a helpful diagnosis but it is fair to say that he is systematically oppositional, systematically defiant. I now feel that this situation has urgently to be dealt with. He cannot, for his sake, be allowed to go on behaving like this. He does have some measure of control and I have seen it. I feel stressed and exhausted by his raging. This does not leave me in the best place to deal with it. That said, I am now making it very clear that I will not tolerate rudeness and hitting and I have tried to role play with him how we can do these situations differently, with him behaving like a big boy instead of a little one... with some success. I have also said to him, because I just cannot see how else to deal with it, that if he hits me again he will not watch the computer (I allow him to watch an hour or so of children's programmes on the computer on Saturdan and Sunday). There will, of course, be an almighty meltdown if he does hit me and I actually enforce this. As I said to Buddy, I just feel that our house is too small... he rampages around inside, constantly hyperactive, constantly touching things that are not meant to be touched. Sometimes he will play well but not this weekend. I actually know that watching things is not good for him - at least he accepts that he watches only at the weekend - because it makes him restless and disperse in energy, increasingly hyperactive, but it is not possible to eliminate it entirely. He can go outside to play in the part of the village near us but he will not go alone. I am worried about all this and where it is going. We have a psychiatrist appointment on the 16th and I want to try to express how serious I feel his behaviour is at times. To me, he has a clear diagnosis of ADHD and ODD. I think there are also some attachment problems. Medication could become something to discuss but I well know it is no miracle cure, particularly in terms of hyperactivity and impulsivity. He needs the skills he lacks to deal with frustration and thwarted desire, that much is so clear. I am supposed to be mirroring calm, mature behaviour to him but sometimes I just feel overwhelmed. It is very hard to feel warm and loving towards a small being who is very skilled in aggravating, defying and insulting you. I do know it's not personal and I should not be taking it personally. I don't, really, but I do see how I am really touched off by his behaviour because it is so unpleasant and antagonistic. He can be, of course, very sweet and engaging when we are involved in outside or structured activity. "Down" times at home so often seem to turn into disaster but I cannot spend my weekends with him going from one item on the agenda to the next... Thanks for letting me vent. This feels like B plus difficulty this weekend.