Trying hard to to kill my difficult child

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by pink, May 20, 2010.

  1. pink

    pink Guest

    Oh My! That should have been Trying Hard NOT to kill my difficult child

    Its impossible to explain what I am feeling about my child right now, I love him so much, but I think I may kill him (not literally) he has always been ADHD and hard to motivate, but lately he has just been horrible. He is so defiant and argumentative, seriously I can't say good morning without a full scale blowout. His Dr, just prescribed Tenex in combination with his Concerta, which by the way does not seem to be working at all (concerta). Can anyone tell me what their experience's with Tenex have been? Although not perfect, things were so much better before puberty set it. I seriously can't get him to hold a pencil for 2 minutes, he spends longer arguing with me than it would take to do anything I asked him to do. He would have failed 7th grade had I not done most of his homework the last month (if I chose to retain him I did not want him stuck with this group of teacher). Any insight anyone can give I would appreciate, as I am at the end of my rope.

    ps difficult child gained 65lbs in a year on risperadol I am hoping weight gain is not a side effect???
    Lasted edited by : May 20, 2010
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    First, take a deep breath.....

    Going to try and address your post in order - we totally understand the love/hate relationship! Puberty and spring seem to be some of the toughest times, especially for male difficult children. Ok, question - if the Concerta is not working, why is he still taking it? Could his increased moodiness or agitation be contributed to the Concerta? Stims are all different so perhaps another one should be tried or it's time for a re-evaluation.

    I can't address the Tenex issue but I'm sure there are some other members who can give you some answers on that one.

    Finally, you know I don't have to tell you that you are setting him up for future failure by doing his homework for him do I? The only way these kids are going to learn is by natural consequences. Does your son have an IEP? If so, you should be calling a meeting or speaking to the teachers to let them know that you are not going to fight the homework fight at your home - it's too detrimental to the stability of your home life. Many parents here have gotten homework modifications in their difficult child's IEP. If he doesn't have an IEP, it sounds like it's time to get the ball rolling. Start the process by going over to our Special Education forum....

    Pink, there are two things we tell most of our new members. 1.) Have you read The Explosive Child by Ross Greene? It's like our bible around here - worth purchasing (through the Amazon link on our site) or check it out at your local library. 2.) Sorry you had to find your way here, but glad you did!

  3. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    First off--

    Let's hope that our mods can change that title--we don't want anyone to get the wrong idea!

    Second, your feelings are quite normal. I've had those moments myself, many times.

    I do not have any experience with Tenex, so I cannot speak to your medication questions, but I'm sure others will come along.

    And finally? Please do not do your child's homework. It will only exacerbate school issues down the line. Sometimes getting poor grades or missing out on prizes is the best way to teach the child.

    Hang in there....and welcome to our group!
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My son gained twenty pounds in one month on Risperdal. It's a major weight gainer. He was taken off of it after that for reasons other than weight gain.
  5. MICHL

    MICHL New Member

    Hi, my difficult child (15) has been especially difficult. He takes abilify & tenex (he is maxed out on the dose) These have been his medications for a very long time. lately with the way he is behaving, it's hard to believe they are doing anything at all except making him tired enough to sleep at night. It's a constant battle with him. Sometimes I feel i can't take it anymore, but i just keep plugging away, have to keep a glimmer of hope alive.
  6. Mandy

    Mandy Parent In Training

    I can say that it is normal to not like your son especially during a rough time, but we always love them.

    My son gained a tremendous amount of weight on Risperdal, and it is an unfortunate side effect. We ended up switching him off of it also due to other reasons, but now we are still stuck with trying to "fix" his nutrition now to get his weight back on track.

    Little Bear also was on Intuniv which is a new version of Tenex and it worked very well for awhile, he was just taken off of it this week during his hospitilization. The issues we had with it was his blood pressure went too low so they had to back off the dose and then it never really worked as well after that.

    I would also talk to the school about an IEP because doing his homework for him might help for a minute but it won't really help him in the long run. I think letting him "fall" and learn the consequences of his actions (like re-doing a grade level) will be a good motivator to do the work in school. Its hard to be a mama of a difficult child because you want so much to see them succeed and it's heartbreaking when they don't.

    Hang in there, and Welcome!!
  7. iloveturtles

    iloveturtles Guest

    I didn't even notice the mis type in the title. I read it how it was intended. It wasn't until I read the first line that I saw it.

    I get how you feel.

    I don't have much to offer other than prayers, and to let you know you aren't alone.
  8. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Tenex is a blood pressure medicine. When given in low doses helps mood issues.

    My difficult child was on it once. It helped big time! However, since it impacts blood pressure, it has to be given daily at the same time. Consistently. Her dad was not willing to put in that effort, so I had to stop having her take that one.
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh My! That should have been Trying Hard NOT to kill my difficult child

    I kind of liked the subject heading better ... ;)

    I know exactly how you feel.
    Can't help you with-Tenex but you've gotten some good responses already.