My estranged son 45 is trying to get me arrested at 73 yrs old,!

Frettfull

New Member
I was a mother of 8 children, over 40 years ago one of my daughters signed herself into care and made accusations againt her dad for abuse. For the following three years my younger children were interigated and medically abused by the authorities, I had no power to make them stop. The daughter then wrote letters and statements admitting she had lied. But it was to late the damage was done. She thought that by doing what she did she would find a better home where she could get more of the material things that she wanted. ( we were very poor ) Two authorities were involved in tearing my family apart on her lies.
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Once the authorities finally decided to leave us alone ( no charges were made) It did not chance what my younger children had to go through for three long years. They started to blame me saying I should have been able to stop them, nothing was ever found to be wrong with my children, I had always done everything I could to protect them!.
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My youngest son changed overnight, becoming someone I no longer recognised. I suffered a series of strokes due to the stress. He once entered my room when I was sleeping and cut off parts of my hair, he continually played loud music and threatened me with a knife. I dont know if he was taking drugs at that time but he never washed, his room was a tip and there was an unfamiliar smell in his room!
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When he reached 18 I sat him down and asked if he would consider now growing up and taking responsibilty, get a job, pay his way and stop playing loud music day and night.........he said that he did not have to get a job and should not have to pay his way in his own home and that it was my duty to feed him and keep a roof over his head!. So I told him that he could indeed do whatever he wanted but as my health was so bad I told him he would have to do it somewhere else. I found him a room nearby and paid a months rent and deposit for him telling him that this was his chance to make something of himself. I said to him, I know you hate me so you will be better off in your own space.
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Within a month he had trashed the room and got kicked out, I would not let him move back home, he had freinds he could stay with. three weeks later I had to put out a fire in my hallway as someone had put something lit through the letter box. I managed to put it out but it had damaged the front door and the wall with the electric meter on it. I called the police. They asked if I had any idea who would do this and my son did not come to mind.........but he told me when I saw him three weeks later that it had been him! I did not report him to the police but wish i had now.
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I am now 73 years old, suffered a heart attack 5 months ago now living 200 miles from my previous home where I was forced to leave in 1997, leaving everything behind me.

The police have this week contacted me to say that I am now facing historical abuse charges. My son has accused me of extreme cruelty! And I am about to be interveiwed for this. My now husband suffers with an extreme anxiety disorder and if I die he has no one to care about him and he will be homeless.
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So my advice to anyone who has a rogue child, they have issues that you cannot deal with so to save your health and sanity DONT EVEN THINK TWICE - REPORT THEM so they can get the help that they need, the help that you are not qualified to give them. It will be the best thing you ever do for them trust me. I could now go to prison if he is to be believed,! There is no help for me and the law does not protect parents against this.
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Children do lie and manipulate. They can cause serious harm. The law it seems protects them!. He has recently posted on social media some very sick and damning things about me and three other people.........And what concerns me is that he has children and grandchildren of his own now!!. God help us weak people.
 

Crayola13

Well-Known Member
I think I would be contacting an attorney. I don’t think the accusations will amount to much because if there were no witnesses to testify, how can it be proven?

Do you live in the U. S.? How old is your son now? Is he working and living on his own?
 

Blighty

Member
Welcome Frettful
That sounds like such a burden to be carrying on your own. I'm glad you can share it here. You do not deserve this kind of treatment. You are worthy of respect and having a peaceful life.

Protect yourself first and foremost. He has shown what he is capable of. It's very sad but this is how it is. This is who he is.

It's easy to torture ourselves with the 'if only's' which come from hindsight. But your story will help others who shy away from reporting to the police when serious incidents occur. Thank you for sharing your experience.

We are behind you 100%
 

Frettfull

New Member
Welcome Frettful
That sounds like such a burden to be carrying on your own. I'm glad you can share it here. You do not deserve this kind of treatment. You are worthy of respect and having a peaceful life.

Protect yourself first and foremost. He has shown what he is capable of. It's very sad but this is how it is. This is who he is.

It's easy to torture ourselves with the 'if only's' which come from hindsight. But your story will help others who shy away from reporting to the police when serious incidents occur. Thank you for sharing your experience.

We are behind you 100%
Thank you. I now have been given a date for my police interveiw which will be held at my home on the 14th or 15th of this month. If common sense prevails they will go away with the truth and the evidence that proves that this has been a malicious attack on me. Either way I am not letting this go. Whatever the outcome is I will be making an official complaint to the police and I will be meeting with my local MP. If I end up in court then all the authorities are going to need to provide their paperwork and at the end of it all I will be suing them all, including my accusers. They may have been my children once but they are adults to me now and they are my enemies. I would just like a few years of peace before I die. Maybe that is too much to ask !.
 

Frettfull

New Member
Welcome Frettful
That sounds like such a burden to be carrying on your own. I'm glad you can share it here. You do not deserve this kind of treatment. You are worthy of respect and having a peaceful life.

Protect yourself first and foremost. He has shown what he is capable of. It's very sad but this is how it is. This is who he is.

It's easy to torture ourselves with the 'if only's' which come from hindsight. But your story will help others who shy away from reporting to the police when serious incidents occur. Thank you for sharing your experience.

We are behind you 100%
I have started writing a book about my life, calling it ‘My Truth’ and I will be campaigning for change in the law. I hope that the information within will be a real eye opener to those going through similar. I will tell how I would have done things differently in order not to give lying individuals a weapon to kill me with. If I dont make it in time to publish it I have someone who will do that for me. I am so sorry to anyone who has had similar problems. My whole life was just not been worth living. The only thing I am grateful for is have the support of a loving husband.
 

Frettfull

New Member
I think I would be contacting an attorney. I don’t think the accusations will amount to much because if there were no witnesses to testify, how can it be proven?

Do you live in the U. S.? How old is your son now? Is he working and living on his own?
I live in the UK, My once son is now 45 years old with children and grandchildren of his own. He is a disgrace to humanity. He has two social media accounts on the one the things he is saying are not repeatable and on the other he is telling a showing a different story altogether. I have taken screen shots of it all to show his lies.
 

AppleCori

Well-Known Member
Hi Frettfull,

Has your lawyer advised you to speak with the police? It doesn’t seem to be in your best interests to do so. I would think they statute of limitations would apply in your case—it has to have been many decades since your son was under 18.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
I am in the U.S.but I don't think that sort of nonsense would go anywhere here. I wouldn't be scared. I'd probably just move far away and mot tell anyone in the family where I went.

Sending g you love and hugs
 

Crayola13

Well-Known Member
In the U.S. the only historical abuse cases that get prosecuted in criminal court involve the Catholic Church. I don’t know how the legal system works in Britain. You were wise to get a solicitor.
 

Blighty

Member
Statute of limitations does not apply to child abuse in the UK. If Frettful has a solicitor, they will be able to give good advice on dealings with police.
 

Blighty

Member
I have started writing a book about my life, calling it ‘My Truth’ and I will be campaigning for change in the law. I hope that the information within will be a real eye opener to those going through similar. I will tell how I would have done things differently in order not to give lying individuals a weapon to kill me with. If I dont make it in time to publish it I have someone who will do that for me. I am so sorry to anyone who has had similar problems. My whole life was just not been worth living. The only thing I am grateful for is have the support of a loving husband.

Yes, thank you. I have a solicitor and I am fighting this all the way to my grave if need be .
Hi Frettfull

It sounds like you need to do the best for yourself in this in speaking your truth.

I wonder what things you can also do for your own self-care and support because it feels like the process is going to take a lot out of you and you will need to replenish.
 

Deni D

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
Staff member
Hi Frettfull, what a terrible situation for you. I can tell you when my son was at his worst, if he had come across information that he could sue me for abuse, he would have tried it. In my situation it would have been different than yours because when my son was so disconnected from reality he claimed he was emotionally and physically abused by me personally. Now that he's back to taking care of himself he would never consider anything like that but it was more than horrible to hear what he said to me and about me.

In your case though it seems your son's claims would be because you didn't stop the investigating authorities from abusing him. I would, of course, do whatever your solicitor tells you to do, but I would also go about getting as much of the paperwork you have and records you can get that address the accusations and investigations from when your daughter accused her dad so you have that information in case anything becomes of this.

I hope this gets resolved quickly for you, I know how heartbreaking it is. Just remember that anyone can say anything. It doesn't make you guilty even though as mom you wonder what you could have done differently and feel the mom guilt because your child is suffering. And frankly it seems if he had a claim to sue anyone it would be the authorities. It's quite different to be in a position to protect children from an individual than it is to protect them from an over zealous child protective organization.
 
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