I'm sorry I've been missing from the boards for awhile. I just don't feel I have any answers for anyone. I have compassion, support, understanding and respect, but no help. Never the less, just knowing your not alone is some help and I can and should be doing that. The other reason I've been away is very happy. I've been working with husband and the older kids building a paddock and run in shed for our 2 new horses!!! I have a very green broke Cyldesdale, a smallish one, around 16.2 and a pony for the kids. The pony is a rescue that was on her way to slaughter. She loves attention and bosses the big guy around like crazy. She bucked when first ridden so she needs some retraining as well....so i'm very busy and very happy to be getting back to my roots after 25 years. I have been reading and thinking of you all when I could and have missed you.