So, I am having a tough time with this one....hoping I can bounce my thoughts off of you to try and clarify how I feel and how I should respond.
The facts? We are poor. Not quite as bad as we used to be, thanks to DHs new job--but still....money is very, very tight.
I cannot work outside of the home because difficult child cannot be trusted unsupervised for any time at all. So as much as I would like to contribute to the family income, my hands are tied.
I have always loved horses...and have worked, ridden or just gone to horse shows whenever I could.
Last year, I landed a job at a stable down the street. It was (I thought) an ideal situation because I could bring the kids with me. difficult child hated the barn and was so difficult and disruptive about going to the stable that I had to quit after just a few months. I was really disappointed.
Now, we are seeing a therapist who gave difficult child and opportunity to participate in "equine therapy". After some initial stubborness--difficult child discovered that she loves horses....just not when her mother is around. So difficult child really, really wants to go to equine therapy every week....and really really doesn't want me involved at all. If I'm participating in the program that week--difficult child gets very angry and hateful.
So what am I feeling upset about?
The therpaist thinks it would be really beneficial if we bought difficult child her own horse! She feels it would be a great motivator.
And on the way home from this session....difficult child managed to make a comment about how if anything should ever happen to me, she would use the life insurance money to buy herself a horse.
This whole thing is just making me sick to my stomache!
I can't have anything nice and have to struggle paycheck to paycheck because difficult child is so hateful, disruptive and un-cooperative....but now I have to figure out a way for her to earn a HORSE???? The therapist suggested that I encourage difficult child to get a job and sit down and work out a budget with her and help her on the path to horse ownership by starting her with lessons at a stable near our home and taking her to horse shows as often as possible.
I don't know how to share something I love so much with a person who has no problem explaining how much they hate me and how my death is the key to their happiness.
The therapist says I need to "accept" that difficult child hates me and not let my own hurt feelings get in the way of doing this for my child.
What kind of cruel torture is this????
******************
So you tell me....
would you be able to sacrifice in order to provide something you yourself would love but cannot have to a person who hates you more than anything in the world?
I don't know about you--but I don't want to. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Opinions welcome...
(and thanks for listening...)
The facts? We are poor. Not quite as bad as we used to be, thanks to DHs new job--but still....money is very, very tight.
I cannot work outside of the home because difficult child cannot be trusted unsupervised for any time at all. So as much as I would like to contribute to the family income, my hands are tied.
I have always loved horses...and have worked, ridden or just gone to horse shows whenever I could.
Last year, I landed a job at a stable down the street. It was (I thought) an ideal situation because I could bring the kids with me. difficult child hated the barn and was so difficult and disruptive about going to the stable that I had to quit after just a few months. I was really disappointed.
Now, we are seeing a therapist who gave difficult child and opportunity to participate in "equine therapy". After some initial stubborness--difficult child discovered that she loves horses....just not when her mother is around. So difficult child really, really wants to go to equine therapy every week....and really really doesn't want me involved at all. If I'm participating in the program that week--difficult child gets very angry and hateful.
So what am I feeling upset about?
The therpaist thinks it would be really beneficial if we bought difficult child her own horse! She feels it would be a great motivator.
And on the way home from this session....difficult child managed to make a comment about how if anything should ever happen to me, she would use the life insurance money to buy herself a horse.
This whole thing is just making me sick to my stomache!
I can't have anything nice and have to struggle paycheck to paycheck because difficult child is so hateful, disruptive and un-cooperative....but now I have to figure out a way for her to earn a HORSE???? The therapist suggested that I encourage difficult child to get a job and sit down and work out a budget with her and help her on the path to horse ownership by starting her with lessons at a stable near our home and taking her to horse shows as often as possible.
I don't know how to share something I love so much with a person who has no problem explaining how much they hate me and how my death is the key to their happiness.
The therapist says I need to "accept" that difficult child hates me and not let my own hurt feelings get in the way of doing this for my child.
What kind of cruel torture is this????
******************
So you tell me....
would you be able to sacrifice in order to provide something you yourself would love but cannot have to a person who hates you more than anything in the world?
I don't know about you--but I don't want to. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Opinions welcome...
(and thanks for listening...)