witzend
Well-Known Member
L calls me this morning and says "Grandma and Grandpa said that they would like to go for dinner or something sometime with us all." I asked "Who's 'us all'?" You and husband and me and maybe my boyfriend or not my boyfriend if he can't make it. I asked "Why?" All kinds of mush about how "they miss you because everyone has grown so much"... I told her I would have to talk to husband and get his opinion of it, as he is the one who is going to have to deal with me if things go badly. When asked she said they brought it up, but she wasn't sure which of them it was. (Buh loney.) She said she then talked privately to Grandma about how hurt I was that L was told I wouldn't be welcome as a guest at Thanksgiving dinner two years ago. Apparently "grandma hadn't thought of it from that point of view before." I guess that makes her a thoughtless woman. I didn't say that. I doubt that anyone is that stupid that they think "Two days notice isn't enough to make room at the table for you" is really what the reason was. But if she is that 's her story and she's sticking to it, I do think that she is at best thoughtless.
I fail to see the point in it, honestly. Geez, I'm nearly 50 years old and gotten along without them just fine for the past ten years. It's not like I would be having dinner with just them, it would be playing into a hand to be used by four brothers and sisters and all of their kids and all of their exes. I don't trust Lauren's description of events. Are they just asking to make themselves look good? Do they mean it? Why would they want to see me after all this time when I was left out of every family occasion - and even specifically told not to come - for the last ten years?
Would they find fault and then tell everyone what a loser they think I am? (YES.) If I say "no" will they tell everyone else in the (huge) family that I was a witch and wouldn't even see my 81 year old parents at their request? (Yes.) I mean, never mind that when they had their giant combined 80th birthdays celebration where every near and distant relative from every corner of the US plus everyone we ever knew when we were were kids came, I wasn't invited.
Sooooo... I kept it very short and changed the topic. Later, I texted her and asked her to be honest whether they said why they wanted to see me, or if they just said they wanted to see me. She said they just said they wanted to see me. No reason. (Lip service from them, in my opinion.) I texted her back:
"I still have to talk to husband, but having not been there it's hard for me to understand the invite. They can call me. You shouldn't be the middleman."
She responded "OK".
I imagine that will be the end of it. I think I redirected it well. Time will tell. It's not yet noon, and I'm ready for Happy Hour. I should probably find something more healthy to do...
I fail to see the point in it, honestly. Geez, I'm nearly 50 years old and gotten along without them just fine for the past ten years. It's not like I would be having dinner with just them, it would be playing into a hand to be used by four brothers and sisters and all of their kids and all of their exes. I don't trust Lauren's description of events. Are they just asking to make themselves look good? Do they mean it? Why would they want to see me after all this time when I was left out of every family occasion - and even specifically told not to come - for the last ten years?
Would they find fault and then tell everyone what a loser they think I am? (YES.) If I say "no" will they tell everyone else in the (huge) family that I was a witch and wouldn't even see my 81 year old parents at their request? (Yes.) I mean, never mind that when they had their giant combined 80th birthdays celebration where every near and distant relative from every corner of the US plus everyone we ever knew when we were were kids came, I wasn't invited.
Sooooo... I kept it very short and changed the topic. Later, I texted her and asked her to be honest whether they said why they wanted to see me, or if they just said they wanted to see me. She said they just said they wanted to see me. No reason. (Lip service from them, in my opinion.) I texted her back:
"I still have to talk to husband, but having not been there it's hard for me to understand the invite. They can call me. You shouldn't be the middleman."
She responded "OK".
I imagine that will be the end of it. I think I redirected it well. Time will tell. It's not yet noon, and I'm ready for Happy Hour. I should probably find something more healthy to do...