Ugh, more violence with my 13 yo

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ums, Mar 30, 2017.

  1. ums

    ums New Member

    So DS had been doing a little better since seeing the psychiatrist (along with his therapist). We had tried generic prozac, but that increased suicidal ideation, so she took him off that and decided just to treat his insomnia. That had helped some, but he still has violent episodes. On Sunday, we were driving on a major highway and he started attacking his younger brother. I pulled over, and had to open up the trunk of the minivan and go through that to physically restrain him. He scratched my arms so badly that it looks like I got into a fight with a tiger. Then he got out of the car (on the grass by the highway) and acted like he couldn't hear me at all and had no memory of what had happened.

    Today, he freaked out again in the car and so I pulled over. He was in the passenger seat and quickly reclined it into my 9 year old's legs...causing her pain.

    He's been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) (General Anxiety Disorder).... and has ODD and possibly PTSD as well. Our insurance has a 30% copay and I'm not sure I can afford another ER visit or inpatient evaluation. Yet I don't know what to do. We all need a break from him, but he has no desire to go anywhere. How do you force a kid to go to camp or a boarding school against their will?

    Is the pretending that you have no memory of what happened and no ability to hear an act? Coping mechanism?
     
  2. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    ums, can you get him in to see the psychiatrist next week? I think it is possible for him to have no memory of the event. If that is the case, your son could be having psychotic episodes. He may need a different or additional medication. The whole situation sounds horribly scary for you, your son and your other children.

    I did force Ferb to go to Comfort Zone camp after his father died. He was not happy about it at all. He was pretty mad at me afterward, too. Sometimes you have to be more stubborn than they are.
     
  3. ums

    ums New Member

    So the psychiatrist added Lexapro, but of course we need 4-6 weeks to see if it will help. Both she and his therapist said next time, don't hesitate, call 9-1-1 and have them transport him to the ER. If there's a bed (big IF), they'd likely keep him a week or so to stabilize.
     
  4. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    ums, Lexapro is an antidepressant. What other medications is your son on? How old are your other children? I am concerned for all of you that these episodes happened in the car. Are your other children capable of dialing 911 if your son gets violent again? Did you see any pattern as to why he freaked out in the car?
     
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I don't know where you live. In my state, in the US, my son can be admitted to the psychiatric hospital if his doctor and I say he is going to be admitted. His consent at age 13 was not at all part of the process. I know because at age 12 he spent 3 months on a locked ward where he did NOT want to be. He could have tried to petition a judge but he knew there was zero chance of getting a judge to overrule the need at the time.

    There are a lot of different options that you can look into. I don't know exactly what your situation is or what you need. I do think you need more medication stabilization and management. From the sounds of it, antidepressants may not be the best things for him. If the doctor wants him to be on an antidepresant, insist that she do a dna test to find out which antidepressant is likely to work best for him. It will take a TON of the guesswork out of the process for him and for you. Not all of it, but it really helps. Insurance covers the test and it is quite reliable.

    Given the amount of violence, why not ask about a medication like seroquel or risperidone? They are classed as atypical antipsychotics. Taking them does not mean your son is psychotic. It is simply a medication that can help keep him more in control of himself and less likely to hurt someone else. It is just something you might want to discuss with his doctor as a tool to help him learn to control himself.
     
  6. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    "My 13 year old son has become increasingly physically violent with me. In the past year, he has broken my nose, put numerous holes in walls, punched and threatened his younger siblings, and just recently he broke his arm when he hit me.

    I think a lot of his violence stems from anxiety.... his relationship with his father (who was very punitive, but only crossed the line of abuse once or twice... we are separated and he wants no contact with the kids)...and..... not sure what else. I was cleaning out my bookshelves and it helped me to realize just how long we've been dealing with this. I've been buying books on ODD, troubled kids, etc. for probably 10 years now.

    He is in therapy right now and we are waiting to see a psychiatrist in January for possible medications.

    Therapist says next time he loses control, we give him 5 minutes to calm down and then call 911 for them to take him to the ER. Scared about doing that.... both for what the future holds, insurance costs (I have no cap, 30% of all bills), etc.

    Any advice, been there done that, etc. most appreciated."

    ums, I took the liberty of reposting your first post to our forum. Please forgive me for not asking first. I am very worried about you and your children. I was thinking like susiestar yesterday and wondering why the psychiatrist did not put your son on an antipsychotic. This is a lot for you to handle by yourself. I think if you can find the time to write more information, that you will open up a discussion and people will have ideas that may help guide you. Clearly, your son is volatile. Be safe.
     
  7. Praecepta

    Praecepta Active Member

    If I had to pay 30%, I would NOT take him to the emergency room. Rather I would call the police. Emergency rooms are very expensive. Running up thousands of dollars in additional bills will not help your mental health!

    Perhaps you could look into getting a different type of insurance?

    Also go visit your local hospital. Explain that you are concerned about having to pay 30% of multiple emergency room visits. Ask if they have any programs which could help you. Or if they could recommend a different insurance plan. You may qualify for financial assistance, which some hospitals have.