tessaturtle
New Member
Thought I would update you all since I have been replying to posts but haven't been posting any updates recently. I also wanted to vent and needed some perspective.
So difficult child had been doing pretty well all summer, just the 'usual' rages and melt downs over being told no or being asked to do a chore (that he had previously scheduled for himself). He was thrown into a tailspin by two things: having to go to the bigger summer day camp for the last week of summer and his mom going away for work and not telling him that she wouldn't take him on her weekend with him (thereby not seeing him for a month!) Added to that was the new school year starting. He ended up biting a kid one day at summer camp, and then the next day threw a kid to the ground. He earned a day off for the second offense and we took video games away for a week. He was also terrible at home and with his sister. He had not been physical with anyone in over a year. He has not bitten anyone in 2 or 3 years, just not his M.O.
He had a weekend recently without his little sister around and he was WONDERFUL! He was compliant and overly helpful. He was a little giddy and manic, but no melt downs. No sooner did easy child step out of the car when she came home and he was all over her again.
Well school has started, so that means the absolute, screaming melt downs about homework. Its ridiculous. He is smart and knows this stuff, he just has ZERO self esteem. He asks how to spell EVERY word he has to write. Lately he has had homework of making sentences with words. He gets EXTREMELY angry and says he can't do it. He asks for help. SO you give him context clues and break it down as simple as you can...no, he is not satisfied until he hears a sentence from your mouth. We explain that for us to say the sentences, that is not helping, it is doing it for him. After an hour of giving him clues, telling him the dictionary will help, practically giving him a sentence (but not the full one!) he finally says (or shouts) what we knew all along "I don't want to do it."
If he is given 10 words, he will do part of it and then the refusal gets worse and worse. We (and his teacher) have already explained to him that he receives WAY less work than he would at a normal school. He still only gives half of the effort. It really worries both of us to think what the future may hold for him with him constantly doing half of what is asked or expected of him.
Tonight was frustrating because he being really disrespectful to both SO and myself regarding his homework. Finally, after being sent to his room for a time out (this after sitting at the table for 45 minutes refusing to finish the homework), he comes back up...and is able to finish his homework (that was "too hard") very easily. He then asks me if he has can play his gameboy again after he finishes. I said he earned it back for tomorrow (after homework is done per the rules) but I said that he could not have it back tonight due to the disrespect. He started to pout (literally) and I said (to him and to SO) that he had to have some sort of consequence due to his disrespect and behavior. Just because he finally did what he was supposed to do did not make everything right.
SO then makes a deal that after he finishes and is done with-dinner and shower, then he can eat ice cream while he watches animal planet. difficult child then starts complaining that we never let him watch CArtoon Network and I hear SO say to him, well, we'll look at whats on and maybe pick something. ARGGGHHH
I felt like difficult child manipulated the situation!
Also, his eating issues remain. He is skipping lunch, and often complaining about or refusing to eat dinner for different reasons . I don't know even where to begin with that!
Sorry this is so long, could be even longer....
Thanks for reading if you got this far!
So difficult child had been doing pretty well all summer, just the 'usual' rages and melt downs over being told no or being asked to do a chore (that he had previously scheduled for himself). He was thrown into a tailspin by two things: having to go to the bigger summer day camp for the last week of summer and his mom going away for work and not telling him that she wouldn't take him on her weekend with him (thereby not seeing him for a month!) Added to that was the new school year starting. He ended up biting a kid one day at summer camp, and then the next day threw a kid to the ground. He earned a day off for the second offense and we took video games away for a week. He was also terrible at home and with his sister. He had not been physical with anyone in over a year. He has not bitten anyone in 2 or 3 years, just not his M.O.
He had a weekend recently without his little sister around and he was WONDERFUL! He was compliant and overly helpful. He was a little giddy and manic, but no melt downs. No sooner did easy child step out of the car when she came home and he was all over her again.
Well school has started, so that means the absolute, screaming melt downs about homework. Its ridiculous. He is smart and knows this stuff, he just has ZERO self esteem. He asks how to spell EVERY word he has to write. Lately he has had homework of making sentences with words. He gets EXTREMELY angry and says he can't do it. He asks for help. SO you give him context clues and break it down as simple as you can...no, he is not satisfied until he hears a sentence from your mouth. We explain that for us to say the sentences, that is not helping, it is doing it for him. After an hour of giving him clues, telling him the dictionary will help, practically giving him a sentence (but not the full one!) he finally says (or shouts) what we knew all along "I don't want to do it."
If he is given 10 words, he will do part of it and then the refusal gets worse and worse. We (and his teacher) have already explained to him that he receives WAY less work than he would at a normal school. He still only gives half of the effort. It really worries both of us to think what the future may hold for him with him constantly doing half of what is asked or expected of him.
Tonight was frustrating because he being really disrespectful to both SO and myself regarding his homework. Finally, after being sent to his room for a time out (this after sitting at the table for 45 minutes refusing to finish the homework), he comes back up...and is able to finish his homework (that was "too hard") very easily. He then asks me if he has can play his gameboy again after he finishes. I said he earned it back for tomorrow (after homework is done per the rules) but I said that he could not have it back tonight due to the disrespect. He started to pout (literally) and I said (to him and to SO) that he had to have some sort of consequence due to his disrespect and behavior. Just because he finally did what he was supposed to do did not make everything right.
SO then makes a deal that after he finishes and is done with-dinner and shower, then he can eat ice cream while he watches animal planet. difficult child then starts complaining that we never let him watch CArtoon Network and I hear SO say to him, well, we'll look at whats on and maybe pick something. ARGGGHHH
I felt like difficult child manipulated the situation!
Also, his eating issues remain. He is skipping lunch, and often complaining about or refusing to eat dinner for different reasons . I don't know even where to begin with that!
Sorry this is so long, could be even longer....
Thanks for reading if you got this far!