For those of you who know my story , oldest son moved out again a few months ago and started Art school. He also did detox three months ago, and seemed to be mostly clean from hard drugs. He was still smoking pot, and doesn't see any issue... sigh... that's a whole other thread. He had a major slip the week before classes started and came home and slept it off. He was honest with us, and seemed to get this is a life long addiction and he needs to take it seriously. Son also has a history of thinking the next "post secondary" is the cure. He has been in univ three times and failed out all but the first term. He is usually paralyzed with anxiety by October, stops going to classes, goes into a major depression and uses. So this fall you can imagine I'm waiting for the pattern to emerge. He seemed more content with his new program saying he is enjoying it and doesn't feel judged for being different as he felt at university. So far so good... I am not seeing typical fall patterns with him, but then again I don't live with him anymore. So yesterday I'm getting ready for work... 630am, and in comes son. He is talking and telling me about he just bought a sword and showing me some silly hoodie he bought that zips up to make a monster face ( like a middle school kid would wear, he is 23) of course I say immediately " are you high?" And he says... I couldn't sleep and woke up early so I smoked some pot to calm myself... hmmmm... so I thought pot made you mellow not hyper.... I had to go to work and of course it was on my mind all day. Fast forward to after work and he comes to the house... still quite talkative and sounding excited about his new program... but a bit too excited with grandiose ideas of making his own line of jewelry and making money ..... now some background, my mom is an artist and I have made jewelry in the past and did well enough at it to pay for trips etc.... but it didn't support us or anything. However he does have some creative family who do make a living in the arts. But I just felt the whole day like if he isn't on some kind of stimulant like coke (which he would have crashed earlier in the day if he was on it? Right?) I am wondering about mental illness like binpolar? He has many of the symptoms and I am just feeling a nagging sense that something is going on beyond the drug abuse. I always blame drugs for his issues but I'm wondering about some kind of underlying mental illness. I get as long as he uses we won't know for sure. He has had periods of severe depression but seeing his almost "manic" like state yesterday made me think of this. It didn't seem like coke, I've seen him on coke. Ugh.... another sleepless night.