Update on difficult child

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by everywoman, Dec 9, 2009.

  1. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    In October difficult child was riding with a friend in friend's car.. Friend threw a cigarette out the window, they were pulled, and to make a long story short, difficult child was taken to jail for a marijuana seed and the tip of a blunt. difficult child borrowed the money for a lawyer. His lawyer called yesterday. If difficult child went and took a drug test and tested clean, the judge agreed to drop both charges. He went today, he tested clean, and he will be cleared of both charges.

    He has another charge pending for the county. Two weeks later he was at same guys's house. He was asleep. Cops busted in, friend wasn't there. They had a warrant. Searched house and threatened difficult child with whatever was found. difficult child got scared, he gave them a joint in the ashtray and he got charged with simple possession---a piece of a joint. He has asked for a jury trial.

    He is doing good. He moved back in with gfgbiomom (my mom) and is living with her. He has a girl friend, who seems to be a bit gfgish herself, but she is a nice girl. Her family loves difficult child. She has a 5 year old son who adores difficult child.

    He is still working the restaurant biz, but if he can stay clean I am hoping he can get a good, steady job in an industry in town. husband, I, or another family member could proabably get him in one of the large industries, but we won't put our name on anything until he proves himself.

    It's been a long 6 years of this stuff with hiim. I am hoping it is winding down now.
  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm glad that he is at least safe and warm. I hope he will make a go of it.
  3. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Sounds good.
    Progress on the difficult child front.
  4. recovering doormat

    recovering doormat Lapsed CDer

    I noticed from your signature that difficult child has Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) as diagnosis and that he has experience with-weed. My 16 yr old (17 next month difficult child 2 has the same diagnosis, and no medication or combination of SSRI/mood stabilizer/atypical antipsychotic has worked as well for him as marijuana. Unfortunately, he was arrested 15 months ago for possession of paraphernalia (empty bags, bong made out of water bottle, etc). The charge was nolled after he completed probation and court ordered in patient detox.

    It's still impossible for him to stop smoking completely. He is urine tested and his levels are low, but he also knows how to manipulate the test by drinking lots of water and two shots of fresh wheatgrass juice followed by an orange juice chaser (who knew these high school kids were so knowledgeable about botany and nutrition?). I'm worried not just for the fact that it's illegal and he seems to be addicted, but he also spent a week in the hospital in October with severe pneumonia (may have had swine flu as well) and toxicology showed traces of PCP in his system that actually eroded his lung tissue (he claims he didn't know the joint was laced). He was very sick and the sight of the doctors scratching their heads and looking concerned frightened me. He's okay now, but he has the kind of asthma that can kill you. That's still not enough to make him swear it off for life (like he did when he was hooked up to IV steroids and oxygen 24/7 in the hospital).

    What have the past three or four years been like for you, with him? I can see myself in your situation.
  5. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    EW, this is a very promising update. Overall, difficult child is moving forward and making good decisions.

    This confused me...if I read it literally, it sounds like your Mom is his biomom so that would make him your brother, not your son?

  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    A very good update I'd say. :) Ok, not perfect but it does look like he's really trying to stay on the right track and you've got to give him credit for that. Keeping fingers crossed his feet have finally landed on the right path.

  7. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Thanks ladies for responding.

    Things ARE more promising than they have been, but in the world of difficult children you know that you are never safe.

    LOL Suz---my mom is my first difficult child---I have been raising her since I was 6---she is difficult child's grandmother----but she is my gfgbiomom---she did not raise me and I can't bring myself to just call her mom...

    Doormat---I don't know if he will ever leave it completely alone. I hope he will, but he too receives a lot of relief from pot. He has had addictions to other drugs, and does not ever want to go that route again, so he is very anti pills. He will not take any scripts! The last 6 years have been a rollercoaster to say the least. I love the kid. He is the most sensitive of my three bios. He is also a liar, a thief, and the anxiety makes me nuts sometimes. It is not easy, but it does get better. Detachment saved my sanity.
  8. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Ah ha! The operative word "my" (meaning YOUR gfgbiomom) was omitted.



  9. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    That is so good to hear. It does sound like he is making some good choices. I hope I will see that some day with my difficult child. So far she can't make any choices except bad ones. You are wise to make sure he is continuing on this path before lending a hand.