As many of you know, difficult child got out of jail June 26 and has been back on the street since that time, homeless. Today, it is about to the 40 to 45-day mark for him. Significance of that is that usually he gets arrested within 45 days of being out of jail and back on the street. This time, things are unfolding a bit differently. It seems. He has seemed different, more serious, more mature, more accepting of his own role in all of this. He has been saying many of the right things---get a job, get a place to live, rebuild my life, get a car, eventually go back to school. He has also been saying that his life today isn't so bad and some days it is actually fun. He is now 25 years old. There has been mixed talk, like I just wrote about above, but little to no action that I can see. I suggested he get his car towed to a repair shop and see what the bill would be to get it running again. My idea, not his. He did it, and I don't know the outcome except that the repairs will be $370 and he has $150 (from birthday presents). Last night I learned that he now has a girlfriend. It was posted on FB. She is 19 years old, and it appears that she has a job but is also homeless. Not sure about that. She has a lot of posts on her FB wall that indicate her, shall we say, immaturity. difficult child called easy child while he and his fiancee were here for dinner last night. He wanted easy child to give he and girlfriend a ride since it was pouring down rain here to someone's house where they would spend the night. difficult child said he is getting a job at McDonald's today and that girlfriend is getting paid Friday and they are wanting to buy a truck with his $150 and her paycheck. So...on to me. Obviously, all of this is why I haven't heard from him since last Friday morning. I now know he is alive---he has no phone, it got stolen. I woke up in the middle of the night with the Parade of the Terribles---doing what we call in Al-Anon "awfulizing". Obsessive thinking making everything really awful and playing every movie to its final conclusion with the well, this will happen, what if that happens, etc. etc. etc. I even told myself, well, I will have to cancel my 7:30 a.m. meeting tomorrow morning. I need to isolate and hunker down. That kind of thinking went on for about five minutes, and then I told myself. Stop it. Read for a few minutes and go back to sleep and figure it out in the morning. This line of thinking is stupid, obsessive and is getting you nowhere. I went back to sleep and slept until the alarm went off at 6. I got up, did my thing and went to the meeting. It was great. There was a motivational speaker who talked about how to turn the challenges of live into advantages. Make lemonade from your lemons. My thinking this morning: I cannot know the course my difficult child's life is going to take. There are many choices and decisions he must make with his life, and then he must live with the consequences of those decisions and choices. Maybe something good will happen. Maybe he won't get this new girlfriend pregnant and take on that whole boatload, or maybe he will? Maybe he will get that job at McDonald's, and maybe he won't. Maybe he won't get arrested for providing alcohol to an underage person (her) and go back to jail. Maybe he will, and that is the best place for him. I have no control over what a 25-year-old man is going to do. Nor should I have any control over that. I am going to continue my work on myself. I am going to continue to set boundaries, create time, space and distance from my son so I can live my own life, detach from my son with love, and work to continue to accept him, right now today, for the person he is. Whether he's homeless or not. Whether he's using drugs or not. Whether he has a job or not. Whether he is living with a scruffy girlfriend or not. Whatever reality is. If I don't like what I am seeing, and I don't agree with it, then I can set further physical boundaries that keep me as far away from it as I need to be. Right now, I haven't heard from him in five days and I am good with that. I will continue to use my tools and my toolbox, to keep the Parade of the Terribles at bay and to keep my head on straight. I cannot know the journey that he is on for his life. Maybe, with God's help, it will lead somewhere good. Keep moving forward, friends, let's keep moving forward. Truly, really, what else is there to do?