so i figured i'd throw my little update about the man situation since you were all right there with me while i was bouncing off the walls, yup i tend to do that. Not sure what to do, where to go, should I boot him out, etc. well, it' snew and there's alot of work to be done, more than i anticipated yet there is some progress........... He took the time finally to "get me" and read up on healing from sexual child abuse. He's the one that knocked the supressed memories out of me some 7 mos. ago yet after that he never took the time to get what i went through and what i am going through. So, he sat read various websites and just looked at me and said wow i'm sorry it's alot of stuff and i need to be more supportive of you right now and highly accountable for my time, make distance from my ex wife (yup she drives me nuts too), and def. never make the careless mistakes i previously made. he also did just that past week or so or i think it's been like almost two weeks to be exact he's been alot more supportive and understanding, made some real strides in the area of hte ex wife and shutting her down (she has been harrassing and trying to control his every move and mine since we have been together) he also understands the importance of being highly accountable for his time ( i too have alot to learn about being less needy and more independent since this all hit last year and not drive him nuts and suffocate; yup figure that me suffocating a person lol ha ha bet ya never thought that so overall he's made some real effort continued with his work in therapy and only had two sessions yet made the best of them. just some good choices made. and making time for us as well a bit more than prior. so, it's a good start. i don't know where it will end but he's trying and so am i now. i'm sure there will be hard moments i'm actually expecting them but at least we're off on the right note. figured i'd give you guys an update since your always there for me with stuff.