Update on us

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Californiablonde, Jan 11, 2016.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    It's been awhile since I posted. Nothing much new here, other than difficult child turning 18 on New Year's Eve. Now that she is officially an adult, she has chosen to stop seeing her dad every other weekend. Makes it not so nice now, since given her terrible attitude most of the time, I really need the break once in awhile. But it is what it is. She is still not going to school much, so she will be definitely be doing another year of high school next year. With her lack of credits, it's estimated that she won't be graduating until June of 2017. I have gotten over it and have come to terms with it for the most part.

    As for me, I am still incredibly sick over my job. My anxiety is ten times worse now since my new boss started working here in September. My supervisor started off giving me two lists of names to call. One in the morning, and one in the afternoon. For some reason, starting last week, she is now giving me four lists to call. Now I'm on the phone pretty much all day at my job (One of the reasons why I can't post much anymore. We have no computer at home.)

    Anyway, I am still desperate to find another job. There was a job opening in my district at an elementary school last month that I applied for. I was all excited, very hopeful, and prayed I would get the job. Well guess what? This year they have added more testing. When I first applied to the job I had now, we had to take a written English and Math test, plus a typing test. I passed all effortlessly. This year they have suddenly added a computer skills test.

    I blindly went to the district office last month, expecting to take a written test, when they sat us down (There were others testing for the same job) in front of a laptop and told us we were going to be taking a computer test. We were specifically tested on Excel, Outlook, Powerpoint, and Word. I know absolutely NOTHING about computers, other than knowing how to type up a Word document and save it. I did horribly on the test. IT wasn't a multiple choice test. They actually gave us 96 tasks to perform on the computer. Out of 96 questions, I only got 6 right, and I guessed at those!

    I am so upset over this new requirement. What they tested us on was stuff that we barely even use in the school system! Word going around the district is they made this new computer skills test so hard that barely anybody would be able to pass it. Right now school jobs are in high demand, and there are usually around 200 applicants per job opening. It's been said that the district wants to reduce the amount of applicants, so they made this test so hard that it would rule out a lot of people applying.

    I have never felt so stuck in all my life. My mental health can't handle 24/7 calling. I can no longer enjoy my weekends or holidays because I am obsessed about having to go back to work and make all those phone calls. I am so desperate for a way out of here, I am seriously considering applying for non school positions outside of the district. That would mean giving up some MAJOR vacation time plus my early retirement. As of now, if I stay with the district I can retire at the age of 50. If I go to a regular job, I will be retiring around the age of 65 like most people. I really don't know what I should do. I love all the vacation I get, and I really want to retire as early as possible, but I can't be in a job that even my psychiatrist says is bad for my mental health. Good thoughts and prayers needed. I hope you all have been well.
  2. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Wow CB that is rough. I had really hoped you'd found something by now or things had gotten better. Are you seeing a professional about the anxiety? Surely there are some coping techniques or something that would help you? Big Hugs. I'll keep my fingers crossed that something else comes along.
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    CB, please treat this as a "stupid suggestion". I'm only tossing it out there because sometimes stupid suggestions actually work, when other things haven't worked.

    If you can't beat them, join them. Can you take Spanish lessons? Would the school board pay for you to do so, given that it is required on your job? It might reduce some of the anxiety if you could actually communicate with these people.
  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry CB, feeling stuck in anything is a terrible feeling. Have you gone to an employment agency that places people in jobs in schools? In CA., at least up here in Northern CA. there used to be a program run by the state where you would get re-educated for a different career, have you looked in to any local agencies that might assist you with that?

    Sending prayers and hugs.....hang in there, keep an open mind, and continue looking at options......
  5. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Many jobs require computer skills at varying skill levels. You might want to check into community education offerings (a lot of them are free) it might give you a sense of doing something to move forward. It might also have some side benefits like an increase in self confidence, meeting and making friends, job leads........Just a suggestion.
  6. Ironbutterfly

    Ironbutterfly If focused on a single leaf you won't see the tree

    I would take computer courses, many community colleges offer non-credit/certificates for computer courses. Does your job pay for classes?
  7. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    My new psychiatrist put me on a new medication (it's actually an ancient antidepressant but new to me) call Nortiptyline. I have been on it for about 5 weeks and I had only a couple good, non anxious days last week, then I went back to having full blown panic attacks this week. Next we are going to up the dosage and see if that works. I'm not holding my breath.

    Actually I went ahead and signed up for a Spanish class they were offering through the district several years ago. A fellow colleage of mine, a science teacher, took the course with me. Both of us ended up dropping out after about a month because the class was too hard. I am thinking I may get something like Rosetta Stone to possibly teach me Spanish. Apparently even dummies can learn a new language with it. I am going to look into it when I get my tax returns. But even the English calls are stressing me out to no end right now.

    I am thinking of signing up for computer classes in the summer, when I will have more time and energy to take them. Hopefully it's not something too difficult for me to understand. Now that I've hit my forties, suddenly I just can't seem to learn new things with ease anymore. A few weeks ago my mom tried to explain how to add, subtract, multiply, and divide fractions for my written test. She explained to me three different times, and I still don't get it. But I passed math in school and I learned it with ease back then. My brain just isn't functioning the way it used to...sigh.

    Anyway, ladies, thank you for your support. I'm glad I have people who can sympathize. It really helps.
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  8. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    Not to be nosy, but how many more years till you're 50? Can you handle it till then, counting off the days, then the months... I regret not having become a teacher, I would have retired a dozen years ago, instead I will still be working for at least 7 or 8 more years.

    My library has a free foreign language set up that you can do on line. If yours does, you can save the money on Rosetta.

    Good luck,
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  9. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Hi CB, I'm so sorry about the job not being what you want. I've been in that situation myself and know how hard it can be to feel stuck.
    Anymore, most jobs unless line factory work or fast food, knowing the office suite, word, excel, power point, access is required.
    I know this can only add to your frustration but you know what, you are so much stronger than you think. You have gotten this far and you will be able to make it the rest of the way.
    Hang in there CB!!
    Sending you hugs and encouragement.
  10. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I just turned 44. I would have six more years till retirement. But 6 years is a LONG time for me as my anxiety continues to get worse the older I get. I still don't know what to do.
  11. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member


    Try Khan Academy.

    It has free Computer Programming lessons.

    Really great program. My daughter enjoys it and it is easy to follow, and not a 'kids' programming site, but a 'real' entry-level course.

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  12. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Is it an online class?
  13. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Yes, it's online, and totally free.

    Take a look. Can't hurt and can only help.

  14. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

  15. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

  16. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I was going to suggest khan academy also. They have a LOT more than computer programming and everything is free!