Update: Relieved, Somewhat

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Rannveig, Sep 13, 2010.

  1. Rannveig

    Rannveig Member

    Took Odin to see the new GP today. I can see why the original doctor said she'd be a better bet for us -- it was like night and day! What a relief. She said she doesn't see Odin's symptoms as manipulation at all. She said repeatedly that she's "just" a family practitioner and thus can't diagnose, but I thought she spoke very kindly and sensibly with Odin. And she seemed to "get" him. I mean, she's not sure how to characterize what's wrong with him, but she could see what's right with him, which somehow seems important. I wish his teachers could appreciate his gifts the way this doctor did within just a few minutes of speaking with him. She offered to see him any time he needs extra support between now and when we can have him seen by a psychiatrist.

    Obviously there was no diagnosis today. She determined he's not a threat to himself or others right now but noted his tearfulness. In a way he seems to have a case of existential angst, the problem being that he's too young to have acquired coping mechanisms and perspective to deal with the realization that the world is full of fear, or at least uncertainty, and pain. When I was out of the room he apparently told her he wished he could go back to a time when he wasn't conscious of all the things that can go wrong in life.

    Odin affirmed afterwards that he liked her, and he seemed cheered by the experience. And I was proud of myself for not turning tail on the whole endeavor of getting help after Friday's fiasco. I had felt maybe I couldn't face this, and I was ready to hand the problem to husband (whose efforts never would have satisfied me, doubtless) or else tell Odin just to suck it up. But with this board's moral support I pushed on, and I feel we made some progress. A weight has lifted, at least momentarily.

    What I really want for Odin is a neuropsychologist evaluation, but I still don't have a referral for that. Hopefully the psychiatrist will agree with me because I do believe there's something cognitive going on as well as any mood issue. This is definitely a "journey."

  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    That is a good update! It is so hard when kids start realizing what can go wrong in life and know that they can not handle things on their own. That is sort of where my difficult child started. He had to learn that he did not have to handle these issues until he grew up (going to college, finding a job, supporting a family) and by then he would have the tools he needed to do so. There are also everyday things that kids do need to face such as crossing busy roads, taking tests, and playing with other kids. They are afraid of getting hit, failing, disappointing team mates. It is then that they learn that with the right tools (knowing when and were to cross safely, studying, good sportsmanship), they can face these challenges.

    I am so glad you are pressing on to find more help. Our kids have such deep thoughts that we really don't know what they are thinking. They really do need help from time to time to figure out their thoughts.

    A very slight cognitive problem is hard to detect but can rack havoc in the learning process. We did a neuropsychologist testing and found that difficult child at times was over focused and at other times could not focus. It was something that caused him to struggle in school but only that special testing could make sense of it. It was our psychiatrist that referred us.

    Isn't it great to see someone "get" your child?
  3. zba189

    zba189 Guest

    You're doing great. I'm still just pulling away from the starting line of this race, but I know how important it is to just be able to find someone who is willing to listen to you and your difficult child.
  4. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Sounds like a good outcome.

    Don't worry too much about the lack of referral - it takes a bit of time while the GP has to get a few more ducks in a row. They can't write referrals immediately for every kid, they have to be able to justify it to the health insurers. In our country, they have to justify it to the government.

    Hang in there. Things seem to be going well.

  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    She sounds like a doll! Way To Go!
    How does Odin feel about her?
    He sounds too old for his age ... you know, how some people are "born old." I agree, he doesn't seem to have the emotional coping skills to keep up with-his cognitive awareness.
    *I* would like to go back to a simpler time, too! Many hugs for you and Odin.
  6. Rannveig

    Rannveig Member

    Oh, Odin definitely liked her. And you know how meeting just one sympathetic human being can temporarily restore faith in the universe as a whole? It was like that. The more I think about it, the more miraculous I think it was. Not that our problems are over, of course; she doesn't have the expertise we're going to need. I agree with your phrasing, Terry: "he doesn't seem to have the emotional coping skills to keep up with-his cognitive awareness." I think I'll use that with future docs, if I may. Meanwhile, I hope that today brings you your own good fortune -- I'm glad you're feeling sort of excited about starting difficult child in public school. I grew up going to public schools and always thought going to private would be some great privilege, but my experiences with my kids, who have attended both at different times, have actually been a lot more positive in public schools. Warm good wishes, Ranny