Update - the more things change, the more they stay the same

[Copabanana]

The courts simply don't like to remove kids from their parents homes. They will work with parents over and over again rather than remove them.

And yet every day babies and children are removed from the care of birth parents and parental rights are terminated.

My son was removed from the care of his birth parents, due to a threat. He never went back.

There has been the basic presumption at work in our society for the past 30 years or so, that children belong with their birth parents, if that environment can be made safe and sufficient. Millions of children are removed from circumstances where that bar cannot be met.

 

[PennyFromTheBlock]

Is there any physical abuse towards the baby or abuse of any kind?

Not at this time- because up until NOW- he had the baby four nights a week and his sister was there. I don't know that it would be physical towards the baby- but I DO know that family violence with the baby in the HOUSE? drug use (which, as of right now, I can't prove)- WILL get that baby removed. Just had an article in our news TODAY about a girl and her boyfriend smoking meth in the house with her kids- and kids are GONE from their custody. I work with some folks that know some people in CPS- so I'm gathering info.

If there was any abuse TOWARDS the baby and I knew about it, I'd have already done something about that. They better NEVER hurt my grandbaby. They will BOTH be in jail.

 

[PennyFromTheBlock]

I'm in anger stage today- because this just INFURIATES me to NO end. The girlfriend already has a 5 year old daughter that her ex-husband has PRIMARY PHYSICAL CUSTODY of already. I'm going to have to be patient and watchful and mindful and try to be NICE to at least have opportunities to PUT MY EYES ON MY GRANDSON. I worked myself up last night just sobbing with worry over this - my son- you know what? He can kick rocks. Useless. Most immature individual I've ever known. Disrespectful and rude. Ungrateful. My grandbaby? The THOUGHT or IDEA of him having to bear witness to this crazy? Almost more than I can bear.

 

[BusynMember]

Penny, I wish you the best.

You can't compare another country to our country. Each system is different.

There are many kids in the U.S. system. Most will go into foster care and mom will have many chances. Too many for my taste. I don't get how abusive mothers get their kids back after they have hurt them. I quit foster care because of the systems treatment of the kids.

The kids in the system were abused and the parents were caught either because the kid was outside at 2 a.m. or the kid ended up in the hospital with suspicious injuries or the parents were both in jail or perpetually in trouble. Somehow the authorities saw, police were called aND saw it, etc. It is not because somebody complained without proof. I called CPS too, although I expected nothong, but I had to try story further down.

My grandsons stepfather slapped him across the face I was in St. LOUIS and he told us the whole story and acting it out and crying. I was infuriated and called CPS.

They took the report so it's thete, but because theark had healed and my grandson was too afraid of his stepfather and mother to admit it to a social worker or cop ("no, don't make me, I'll get into trouble, no, no!") I really had no evidence.

As the CPS worker tolde, not without sympathy, they can't do anything without, say, a doctor having seen a suspicious bruise. Also, she said, sometimes the families are just angry so they turn the other parent in.

I know my grandson told the truth. He doesn't lie. I know he is being abused in his mother's house. He is terrified of her and stepfathet. My son is in court to try to make it better. But the judges want kids to see both mom and dad. Unless she is caught in plain sight abusing him, grandson will still have to live with her half the time.

I really hope they take this poster's complaint more seriously. I certainly would keep it up. I'd get a lawyer too. That could really help. I am sorry this poor loving grandma has to worry about the baby, like I worry about my grandson. I do encourage this family to take it to court. The investigation of both parents Tourette's Syndrome very thorough in court. CPS is overworked and not as effective.

I wish the best of luck to this grandma and to all who need to worry abut our innocent grands. It is a horrible thing to live with.

 

[A dad]

There is also the the fact that it might not be better for the child in the state run system some might not even get out of there.
Makes me wonder if the custody goes to the grandma will she need to cut contact with the birth parents?

 

[BusynMember]

We had a foster baby whose mother and father were both drug addicts. Baby came to us at six weeks because they both were in legal trouble due to drugs. The aunt stepped forward and got custody and baby daddy (her nephew) often stays at their house. So I don't think so.

Once adopted, the child is no longer watched at all by the state unless the new parent gets into trouble herself. So the aunt was entrusted fully to make decisions for the baby about who to see.

 

[PennyFromTheBlock]

Here, before a child goes to strangers, they go to grandparents FIRST, then aunts/uncles, etc. They do whatever they can to get family to take the child on a voluntary placement (then the state saves money).

 

[InsaneCdn]

They do whatever they can to get family to take the child on a voluntary placement (then the state saves money).

Yes, it saves money. However, current research seems to indicate that most kids do better with family than with strangers, especially if they are not newborn.

 

[PennyFromTheBlock]

I'm aware....of course kids do better with family who love them! Cps is ALSO about money and services. ive already talked to a placement worker. My ducks are in a row. I don't WANT it to come to this, but I wont be the first or last grandparent in this situation.

 

[BusynMember]

Ouch, they prefer it here too and also in Illinois. A child is only available for adoption to strangers if no family is capable or willing to take the child in.
Last I heard aunt was trying to adopt niece and get a subsidy. She really could have used one. Single mom and she already had custody of other nieces and nephews...we helped her out for a while. Not sure if she ever got the subsidy.

Grandparent would be way up there in preference if parents are declared unfit. This happens in court. CP S would have to go before a judge. We've been there. Judge usually honors CP S decision but it does have to be legal. And if parents fight it, it can take a long time, just like any custody battle. We sat in court with foster kids many times while bio. parents tried to keep their parental rights.