A thousand apologies, because this is about my easy child, who seems to be under stress. He is a easy child, but he does have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and anxiety. There are times I would call him p c - d c. He is very successful at his job, married and has a toddler son. So...it's hard for me to call him a d c or even a partial d c , because he is doing very well (knock on wood). He has won awards at work, etc. We visit their family often. When we go, we take them out to dinner often. And if we are going to some sort of event like a children's museum...we pay. They are saving money and we understand this. If I catch toddler clothing on sale, I will buy our grandson a LOT of clothes and they seem appreciative. I buy things that they clearly would like as I know the themes, colors and sizes they like etc. Recently, they visited us in our city. Our son was complaining about money being tight, so I gave him $60 for tolls and gas since something happened recently that caused them to have a dip in their finances and he was concerned about it. They are, however, very responsible with their money. This is not in question in the least. In fact, our son is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) about this money and this is, in part, why he is ever aware of every penney he spends. Our son, with his friends, at times uses very debatable comments. Just odd stuff, like for example..."bite me." The weird thing, he might at times use it with ME! I don't like this. He also has what seems like a lazy streak and might be. OR, it might be part of his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). He, for example, obcesses on the baby/toddler getting hurt. Consequently, he hovers over him throughout the day (when he is home from work, weekends, his days off). So, I texted him a question and "as a joke," he wrote back something like "bite me." Since he has done this type of thing before, and we have told them to be careful to always be appropriate, we got upset. I don't think that is an appropriate thing to say to your mom, even as a joke. Additionally, when we ask him to do things like pick up ice for a party, he hems and haws and basically blows it off. My husband asked him to do something, that in all honesty, was a big request, and our son seemed flabbergasted. ETA: It involves waiting for a repair man etc. So maybe not THAT big of a request! Right or wrong, my husband added "come on son, we do a lot for you." Well, this touched off a load of problems as our son now says we do things for them so that we can "own" them. The truth is, we do do a LOT for them and we do it out of love and care. We are always concerned for their well being and to help them relieve stress. And, my husband is the type if you asked him to find some little thing at Home Depot, he would drive around town to all the Home Depots if necessary until he found the exact right part. He has done this type of thing for our son and nevers considers such a thing a burden. As a side note: my husband is now in his mid sixties. It is only recently that we have asked our son to do anything at all. Hubby actually made a point of not asking much of anything at all of him in the past. So...questions. What do you make of this? I say my son said this to me because he is angry? He did apologize and admitted he was angry at his father (this was a surprise). Said his father (but I think he meant both of us) wishes to own him by buying him dinners and so forth. Would you be upset if your young adult child said "bite me," even as a joke? (especially if you warned them in the past about jokes needing to be appropriate) So...do young adults today expect that parents give all they got but are not to get anything in return, even if it is picking up a bag of ice for a party? Or maybe this is just Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) stuff in disguise. I do wonder about that. Who knows what they are thinking.What little thing is bothering them. We are communicating...so that's good. But, when I think of my friends, it does seem very one sided in terms of parents doing all the giving and the adult children (even easy child's) giving pretty much nothing at all. Any insight would be helpful. Oddly, I'm very sensitive about issues with p c, since I'm usually numb or detached about Difficult Child and so when p c acts inappropriate it hits me hard in the gut.