update: Oldest son is going on a month of sobriety, 5 weeks actually! He is going to classes everyday, and spending all his time at home or at school. He is seeing his school counsellor, but I don’t think he has attended AA. I haven’t smelt pot or seen any indication he is using. He told me the other day how hard it is being young and not being able to drink at all ( I was shocked since he has always maintained he could have just a few). We have no alcohol in our home at the moment. He seems to be accepting he is an addict for the first time. He has not been rude or angry at all since moving home, and isn’t “antsy” around us even sitting and watching tv with us regularly. He hasn’t done this since high school five years ago. It’s still early days so I’m basically walking on eggshells waiting for something to happe or to see some sign he isn’t sober. One incident however. I gave him my debit to get gas and he took 80$ cash. He told me last night he “owed” me money, and I lost it. He knows I’m angry and that he violated my trust. He says he still owed someone money. I felt all the old feelings come up. I told him that it wasn’t ok, and I was extremely dissapointed. He does have a sense of entitlement that may or may not have to do with his addiction. I’m not sure. Younger son would never do this. He brings back change when I send him for milk with a ten! Older Son has always kept the change, even way before this. I didn’t tell my husband since he is so on edge looking for any sign he could be slipping. I am worried for his stress level. He has been so patient with Son, helping get him to school everyday. Son doesn’t sleep well (probably due to benzo abuse) and it’s very hard to get him up since he usually doesn’t fall asleep until 3/4/5 am..... classes start at 9 We are happy he seems to be on track, but I am so worried about the holidays. He has next week to do his final presentations and then he is off. Until jan 8 He is actually going to fly to my sisters with me after cmas and he will avoid the whole NYE party scene here in town. My sister has three small kids so we will have a very different NYE He wants to be sober. I believe that with my whole heart. He wants to be successful and make us proud. He is a very good person, who cares deeply for his family. But he is also an addict who can be very selfish and immature, with zero impulse control. I just wanted to update you all and let some of my anxiety out in words..... it’s so hard some days to keep it compartmentalized.