Valentine mom
New Member
Hello-
After graduating college our daughter never got a real job or officially left home. She lounged around, dated a lot of guys without many lasting relationships, spending half of her week at home and the other half at a boyfriend's house. She worked doing sporadic temporary jobs but spent her money on frivolous items and activities. She developed devious ways of cheating the companies she did jobs for. She was constantly lying to us. We were vehemently against the way she conducted her life. I seekeed out professional advice, and was told to just let her "get caught", don't turn her in myself. We began giving deadlines for her to move out but each date that came there would be an excuse why she couldn't leave.
Our daughter is savvy, intelligent and attractive, but uses her natural gifts in an extremely detrimental way to maneuver through life. We finally got to a point where we had had enough of her using us and others and being rude and lazy, so we changed the locks.
We thought that she would get a job and get her life on track, but instead she went to a sugar daddy site and started a relationship with a wealthy VIP stockbroker who had a porn business on the side, and he was the star! My daughter discovered his secret, and he promised he wasn't going to do it any more. She caught him a second time with a coworker, and she is still seeing him. All this in a 1 year relationship. They broke up and then got back together, and I 'm not going to put up with her shenanigans and lying to us any more. He wines and dines her and gives very expensive gifts and he is much older. He is also manipulating and underhanded in other ways, but puts on an upstanding face to his high profile clients. He has no relationship with anyone in his family and it looks like he wants my daughter to do the same with us. She now defends him and is upset with me for not accepting him. She is choosing what she thinks is the easy way, and for the most part, shunning our family. She comes from a truly loving and caring home.
Since the relationship started it has caused extreme rifts between my husband and I. I can't accept the stockbroker creep in my life. I am ready to tell her I don't want a relationship with her until she can get her life together and be honest in her life and with us. She wants me to accept anything she does or any relationship she decides to be in. I don't want to do that. She wants to create an anger toward me so that she doesn't feel guilty about the relationship. My husband insists on maintaining some sort of relationship with her even though she is being very nasty toward us. I love her so much and this is killing me. There is nothing that we can do to talk any sense into her. She is willing to put up with his unsavory life so that she can live like a queen in the monetary sense.
Please help, I need advice.
Valentine Mom
After graduating college our daughter never got a real job or officially left home. She lounged around, dated a lot of guys without many lasting relationships, spending half of her week at home and the other half at a boyfriend's house. She worked doing sporadic temporary jobs but spent her money on frivolous items and activities. She developed devious ways of cheating the companies she did jobs for. She was constantly lying to us. We were vehemently against the way she conducted her life. I seekeed out professional advice, and was told to just let her "get caught", don't turn her in myself. We began giving deadlines for her to move out but each date that came there would be an excuse why she couldn't leave.
Our daughter is savvy, intelligent and attractive, but uses her natural gifts in an extremely detrimental way to maneuver through life. We finally got to a point where we had had enough of her using us and others and being rude and lazy, so we changed the locks.
We thought that she would get a job and get her life on track, but instead she went to a sugar daddy site and started a relationship with a wealthy VIP stockbroker who had a porn business on the side, and he was the star! My daughter discovered his secret, and he promised he wasn't going to do it any more. She caught him a second time with a coworker, and she is still seeing him. All this in a 1 year relationship. They broke up and then got back together, and I 'm not going to put up with her shenanigans and lying to us any more. He wines and dines her and gives very expensive gifts and he is much older. He is also manipulating and underhanded in other ways, but puts on an upstanding face to his high profile clients. He has no relationship with anyone in his family and it looks like he wants my daughter to do the same with us. She now defends him and is upset with me for not accepting him. She is choosing what she thinks is the easy way, and for the most part, shunning our family. She comes from a truly loving and caring home.
Since the relationship started it has caused extreme rifts between my husband and I. I can't accept the stockbroker creep in my life. I am ready to tell her I don't want a relationship with her until she can get her life together and be honest in her life and with us. She wants me to accept anything she does or any relationship she decides to be in. I don't want to do that. She wants to create an anger toward me so that she doesn't feel guilty about the relationship. My husband insists on maintaining some sort of relationship with her even though she is being very nasty toward us. I love her so much and this is killing me. There is nothing that we can do to talk any sense into her. She is willing to put up with his unsavory life so that she can live like a queen in the monetary sense.
Please help, I need advice.
Valentine Mom