We have a diagnoses

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Matty's Mummy, May 30, 2011.

  1. Matty's Mummy

    Matty's Mummy Member

    So we went to Minds and Hearts they are leading experts on autism spectrum disorders, we seen a DPsych who was wonderful.
    We went to try and find strategies to help our son, sure we knew he had quirks and our Pead had said possibility or Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified, but we didn't' know she had changed her diagnoses to Aspergers syndrome as was in her letter to the clinic.

    So we came away with a very clear diagnoses of Aspergers syndrome, Anxiety disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), they also have giving us lists of how to help our son. We are having a meeting at school this week to try and work with them on our sons IEP (Individual Education plan) mostly our son has done well at school though he stopped playing at lunch brake with other children half way through last year. His teacher was wonderful last year and tried to help, the teacher also seemed to talk the correct language to our son that never seemed to confuse him, fast forward to this year and it's all gone to.... out the window.

    His teacher this year constantly uses idioms, like when I asked how our son was going after being away for a few weeks 'oh we just got right back into the SWING, of things didn't' we mate?' our son replied with 'what do you mean swing' and later was sure to tell me he didn't' go on the swing. There are of cause much bigger issues with school, he is not talk much at all, wont read in group as he says 'I'm not smart' and he has anxiety so bad he shuts down and cant work. One such day his teacher had asked if the class could add another 2lines to their story, that was it he shut down, he had about 4lines in his mind that, would finish what he wanted to say, then he couldn't' cut back. Then his teacher stood over him trying to find out what was going on, (Pushing him more) and he was in tears. Poor kid.

    At home he continues to struggle with simple things like he has to have confirmation over everything, like at dinner time, he sits in the same chair every night and yet every night he has to ask where to sit and must not only be told but we have to point or say it in another way before he will sit. Other times he wont pick up his dinner plate to bring to the table until we say which is his even though we have said 'M, your dinner is on the bench it's the only one there' he will still have to ask while he is standing there right at it before he will pick it up, if we dont answer him, he will stay there. We never dont answer him as that is cruel, but we have been guilty of not answering him when he is in his room to get dressed, only because we haven't heard him, with his clothes laid out, he will stay in his PJ's until we go to him and point at the clothes...

    I thought I had an idea about Apergers but wow all kids with this are so different to each other. When I think of a child with AS I think of a child that talks constantly about things no-one else is that interested in, like the components of metal... our son is more non verbal even though he talks...
    I feel a little overwhelmed but I wasn't' going to cry not one drop when we were told the results as I didn't' cry when we were told of our other son having Down syndrome. We have a lot to prepare for as we start to work on things at home, then later our son will have CBT with a phycologist

    Thanks again for this wonderful group.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Well, yes, they do present differently. My son will take the initiative and do what he is supposed to do and is not as literal as yours is. He would understand "the swing of things." But he is still on the spectrum. I think whether it is called Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified or Aspergers or autistic spectrum disorders, we just all have children who have social issues that other children don't, and they can learn. Do you have special supports set up in school? Any social skill classes for children on the spectrum?
  3. keista

    keista New Member

    Congratulations on the diagnosis. Maybe you didn't shed a single tear because there is no need for crying, the future can be beautiful.

    I remember times when my son was Oh so literal. Teacher said "this is your homework tonight" He would refuse to do it until it became night time. Oh, the frustrations! BUT he "grew out of it" More likely, he adapted. Now, for fun, he takes vague statements and idioms and such and argues/discusses them literally.

    The constant talking about his interests, I think, is a characteristic for slightly older kids - mine started at about 7-8 and hasn't stopped. The interests change, but "assaulting" ppl with his knowledge hasn't.
  4. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! My advice? In my opinion, Aspergers is a spectrum within a spectrum. Think of Aspergers as an ice cream sundae...everyone starts with ice cream - but some have vanilla, some chocolate, some strawberry or some other flavor. Then toppings - hot fudge, butterscotch, caramel, cherries, whipped cream - some or none when it comes right down to it. But almost every sundae has it's sprinkle of nuts. Either the child is nuts or the parents go nuts - sometimes both. :bigsmile:

    My point is - you're already doing a fantastic job - you're seeking out diagnostics, studying him to see where his confusion lies, what impacts his behavior, etc. You're miles ahead of where most of us were at his age with our children.

    Mourn what you need to mourn - cry over what you need to cry over - and then embrace the coolness of who he is! But remember to give yourself the daily pat on the back that you so richly deserve!

    Hugs honey...it's going to be ok...we're here for you!

  5. Matty's Mummy

    Matty's Mummy Member

    Midwest mum that is so true. We have a guidance officer this year at school she is running a little work shop for a group of children in my sons year level which he will attend.

    Keista h we have that one as well where he wont do his homework till night time.
    That is interesting about the constant talking not starting till 7 or over, I'm sure we will be dealing with it soon then lol

    NVTS that i the funniest thing I've read thanks for the great laugh. Lol
    Thanks so I am grieving for him even though I know he will be fine it's just hard to see him so confused in the world he lives. And some days I see him playing so well with others it's really confusing as other days he doesn't cope at all.