We have hit puberty! Yikes!

May I ask a question? Just how far do you allow your difficult child's disrespect to go before you put on the brakes? I know I am supposed to choose basket A, B, and C. Since most behaviors have stopped, there are new ones arising and I am finding myself changing my baskets continuously. Has anyone else experienced this? How much is puberty and how much is just "acting out", I wonder?


Well-Known Member
If it feels like it's gross disrespect and spurning of rules, it probably is too far.

I've raised five teens. Not all teens act out at all. You know your kid best.

If your son was exposed to substances by birthmother before being born, he may show a different wired more obviously now that he is older and that requires interventions more than discipline. (Adoptive mom here).

Oldest child sounds like he has some either autistic traits or attachment disordered traits, which both impact development and behavior. Can't take away the fact that they were adopted not as infants and that BioMom may not have taken good care of herself while pregnant. My one son from foster care had one of "those" birthmothers and he is on the spectrum, but really doing well now at twenty-one.
Thank you Midwest Mom! I agree that through circumstances that were not my own, that there may be more than I know going on here due to what he went through in utero. You know how people say that their son went through that and he got through it and stopped? I am wanting to make sure that I raise a responsible son and not one that is disrespectful. I am going to keep being strong and stand my ground as far as my expectations and allow him to rise to them. That motto seems to be one that has worked for you.


Well-Known Member
Raising a totally non-typical non-typical kid. Been through that puberty stuff with all my kids.

We found that the "stuff" was at least 80% puberty... with a turbo-boost of non-typical stuff that made it 100x worse.

It's hard to deal with the typical stuff in a non-typical kid...